Less than 48 hours to go...

...and then it will all be over. This waiting will be done, and I'll be on the other side.

I've had a shocker of a period turn up (3rd this month). I had planned to spend this last weekend doing lovely things; actually, I've been laid up on the sofa doing nothing lovely whatsoever. It's been the best reminder of why I'm having this surgery.

But still, I'm suddenly feeling exhausted and utterly done with being brave. It's been years of putting up with it, getting on with it, not complaining about it, letting everyone else not have to talk about it.

There's part of me that would quite like to scream at everyone and tell them that this is really hurting - not just physically, but my heart too. But I know there's no point, there's nothing that would change. My sister-in-law rang to wish me the best tonight, and then proceeded to tell me how uncomfortable she is at 6 months pregnant... I had no words for her.

I wish I was one of those people who could feel excited and happy at the prospect of the surgery, and for most of this wait I have at least been at peace with the decision. But now, with it happening in the space of hours rather than weeks, I'm so deeply sad. It's as if everything I've lived with over these last few years is cramming itself into my head for one last time, and I've had some kind of emotional overload.

I say to myself, I'm 28, it shouldn't be like this. But that makes no sense, because there's no rule book on how our lives will be.

I will be ok, this is a good thing. But wow, it's hard.

I will be thinking of you as you prepare to go to the castle. May your surgery be uneventful and recovery be remarkable.

Remember to get lots of rest afterwards and let others take care of everything for you.

I am sorry that you are having to go through this surgery at your age. It does not seem right. I guess through at least you will feel better after the initial recovery period. I have no regrets. I endured decades of this garbage in one form or another. It was past time to move on. Best wishes for an optimal recovery!!!

I wish you a successful surgery and speedy recovery!

Hi Lollie - I am sorry to hear how you're feeling in your final hours before surgery, that is extra tough getting your period again unexpectedly like that.

For whatever it's worth, I think most of us have been surprised by the comments we received from some of the people closest to us - the very people that we hoped would have extra empathy and tact. It rings true again and again that the only people who can really understand what we are experiencing and feeling are those who have been through it themselves....so I am very happy that you have found this site and can share your feelings here with us. We are here for you, and will be there in the virtual waiting room as you go through your surgery and ome out the other side into recovery. Please reach out for our support whenever you need and want it.

I wish you a speedy recovery!
It took me 20 years of pain and 6 surgeries to finally make the big decision. It is not an easy one! I know the feeling of missing out on life and the couch being my favorite place to be. My surgery was last Tuesday and I am still scared of the unknown "after!" But I do know what ever it is cannot be as the years I have lost!

Oh big hugs! Everyone keeps telling me yes the postop period will stink. However, I will feel much better once it is done. I sure hope so. See you on the other side and good luck!