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Can't count on others
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09-11-2015, 11:19 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 190
Hysterectomy: July 28th, 2015
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Can't count on others
So, this idea might be a little cost prohibitive, and I'm not sure what your financial situation is, but what about having a driving service bring them to school?
I checked to see if my company has service in Sacramento where your profile says you are at ( because we expanded to some areas of California last year to operate for some large automotive dealerships there ... we're similar to Uber, but our driver's are background checked, and drive you in your own car... or take your car in for service, etc ), but unfortunately we aren't in Sacramento just yet. However, this got me to thinking, that something like this might still be an option for you.
Maybe there is something like a limo service in your area, but with an SUV instead ( so the kids wouldn't feel weird about being dropped off by a limo ) with background checked drivers, that could pick the kids up and drop them off at school?
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09-12-2015, 01:59 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 105
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Can't count on others
any chance you could hire a babysitter? someone from the high school perhaps for before school? you could even talk to the guidance Councillor who may know kids who babysit.
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09-12-2015, 09:38 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 52
Hysterectomy: September 30th, 2015
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Can't count on others
We live about ten miles from the kid's school, so that makes it difficult. The kid's would have to be driven to school that morning. Not sure I trust a teenager to drive them. It's hard to relinquish the fear of them being with people I don't know. I'm probably what most people call a helicopter parent.
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09-12-2015, 06:57 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 103
Hysterectomy: May 19th, 2015
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Can't count on others
I really feel bad about your situation. If I lived close I would come and stay with your kids. Good luck.
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09-13-2015, 12:02 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 333
Hysterectomy: August 20th, 2015
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Can't count on others
Check out that online babysitting service that's always on tv, I don't know if I'm allowed to say it. Then it would be an adult babysitter with references and a background check. Even have her come an spend time with you and the kids before surgery.
Also wanted to say, a couple years ago my husband had surgery. I had a nursing baby and a terrified 3 year old. I couldn't leave them for the day anywhere. My husband had his surgery alone while I stayed home with the kids and his sister drove him home after she got out of work. It was crappy, but we got through it. So if that's what you end up having to do, it won't be the worst thing. My husband was there for me with my hysterectomy but I didn't see him during all the prep and I barely noticed him in recovery. All I remember is him saying one or two words and then waking me up to say goodbye before he went home, that was it. I told him afterwards he could have stayed home and I wouldn't have noticed.
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09-19-2015, 09:51 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 20
Hysterectomy: January 14th, 2015
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Can't count on others
Hello... my answer... bring the kids...
This happened to us too. Of course, I knew better than to ask for help and did anyway. My girls are 7 and 9. Thankfully we live down the street from the hospital, so things were easier. This was our solution...Surgery was scheduled for 8am. So naturally I had to be at the hospital at 5:30. We live 3 minutes from the hospital. Mom lives 10 minutes from us and said she would either stay the night or just come in am to get the girls ready for school. The night before she TEXT to say she had to work! So... mother in law lives 15 minutes away... husband says forget it.
So... next day... We woke the girls and they came with us. At 7:30 he and the girls come back to the prep area to say goodluck. Hubby brings girls home to go to school. He later picks them up and brings them back to the hospital. Other than dropping them off for school and picking them up he was at the hospital the whole day. I had another surgery 2 months later and we did the same thing... EXCEPT we kept the girls home from school and at the hospital the whole time. They wanted to be there when I woke up this time. I suggested the hubby drop me off and he wouldn't have it. Got offended actually. And, frankly, I would have hated him not being there. For you, an hour is a long ride.
Point is.. bring the kids. It might sound wierd and a lot of people might disagree, but my girls were able to talk about what was going on and get answers. Daddy was able to comfort them. My doctor was great too. He asked them if they had questions, and helped put them at ease. Just make sure to bring stuff to keep them busy. Everyday they had a "busybag" with crayons and coloring books, books to read for homework, a tablet, their dolls, and drawing paper. My youngest, when the nurse would come in, would put on gloves and "help" the nurse. My oldest would ask the doctors questions. It wound up being a good experience for them. It also gave me a reason to heal...
Hope this helps.
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09-19-2015, 09:58 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 52
Hysterectomy: September 30th, 2015
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Can't count on others
We've decided it will be best to just have them come along to drop me off at 5:30 am. They can sleep in the car on the way there and then back to school. By the time he gets back to the hospital, maybe I'll be done. I'm still trying to come to terms with how unhelpful people are, but what can you do!
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09-19-2015, 10:09 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 90
Hysterectomy: June 23rd, 2015
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Can't count on others
Aloha,
I'm so glad that you decided to take them with you then drive them back. I would still pack some extra's for the kids just in case something changes and they need to stay. Better to be prepared then spending unnecessary money at this time.
I am still amazed on how people can't make the time to help after I have bent over backwards, rearranged schedules, driven across island to help them out. I'm trying really hard to let go of that hurt/upset feeling towards them. I'm trying to tell myself, that folks are the way they are and it's much easier if I just accept them for who they are. That I help because it makes me feel good and I truly feel that I want to help others because that's how we should all be. But, not all of us are like that.
It's kind of like the marines saying The Few The Proud... Well that's what we are few and proud of what we do.
Keep us up to date on how your doing and how everything turns out.
Blessings,
Lawai Lady
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09-19-2015, 11:03 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 105
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Can't count on others
How old are the kids? When i had my first surgery my son wouldn't even leave the hospital, not even for McDonald's (he was 4). He needed to see his mommy ok, even if he didn't know what a surgery was.
Have you asked the kids what they want? They may want to stay at the hospital. Also, most schools would be accommodating for 1 day with school work
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09-19-2015, 11:04 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 77
Hysterectomy: October 21st, 2015
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Can't count on others
Hugs to you quietlee....I will pray all goes well. I'm having problems with lining up help too so I know how you feel. My adult daughter who lives with me along with her husband & kids has told me she won't help. I was floored by that & very hurt. I've had to line up friends - fortunately for me I have dear friends willing to help.
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