Upcoming hysterectomy: How much help am I going to need?

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Originally Posted by 2painful Thank you! This is a huge help and anxiety relieving! I live in a condo so I don't have to shovel. I have lists of lists of items I need, bought a lot of stuff already, and have added some great ideas to my lists because of all of you....so thank you for that too. I think I will be ok. I am a woman, so I know I will be just fine :-)

You live in a condo... Which means that if something *does* go wrong, you have plenty of people around to help. :-)

I live in a four-unit apartment building and it's often seemed to me to be the perfect combination of independence with people-there-just-in-case. For example, a few days after I got home from the hospital, I tried to take a (very light) bag of trash to the curb. I barely got past my doorstep before one of the other tenants insisted on taking the bag for me, swearing that his wife would kill him if he didn't.

When people ask about "recovering alone," I always wonder a bit about their precise circumstances. Recovering alone in an isolated house at the end of ten miles of dirt road would be a tougher proposition!

My husband asked me today how much I was going to need him- full time or less. I said if he had to do something close to the house and my kids-9and10- were there I was fine. My daughter alone will prolly make me wish I never came back from the hospital-she's a doll but very much a mamas girl and worriesome, she'll be on me like white on rice making sure I'm ok- so I think I'm covered. Besides, if something serious happens I can always yell for my neighbor.

I had a TAH and like Surprised and Coughy I was ok taking care of myself when I came home from the hospital. My mom was here but she mainly helped get the kids to bed and up and to school and took care of the dog. Honestly, I could have done those things myself but it was nice to let someone else do it so I did! I never had much pain and had few restrictions (once up and down the stairs a day first two weeks, 20 lb lifting restriction, no bath, no sex, no heavy exercise). I could easily cook, bath, get dressed and such by myself from the beginning. My main issue was fatigue.

My dh was there for me-TAH. The first couple of days were painful with a huge swelly belly and not being able to have a bowel movement. My dh drove me to my doctor's appointments for five weeks. He also made sure I took my medicines on time since all I did was sleep. So as you can see, you will need someone to be there with you for a while.

I had my surgery on Nov 3rd. I too live alone and have a rambunctious little dog... But I needed a lot less help than expected. My parents were there initially but eventually gave up and went home. I showered every day and hung out on the couch for the most part. Make sure you have plenty of food stocked up, and having people close by in case you need anything is also comforting, but I was greatly surprised how self sufficient I was even on Home Day 1. (It also doesn't hurt that I live in S California so weather is rarely an issue,)

Another 'tool' that I've found super helpful in recovering on my own is a rolling bed-side table. You can use it for the items you want near you, to eat wherever you want, and I've used it to make getting things around the house easier. I can load it up with water, snacks or whatever project I'm working and roll it into another room in one walk without carrying anything heavy. They are on Amazon - the one I got was about $60 - it has proven very handy.

These posts are most helpful! Thank you again.
Some great ideas I never thought about.

My husband will take me and stay my entire time at the hospital. My upcoming LAVH is Tues Dec 16th...super close.
I'm a ball of nerves & developed a cough 2 days ago. Taking Mucinex & hope it clears before surgery day. Worried about being intubation for the general Anesthesia.
One day at a time...I suppose. My husband says whatever help I'll need, he'll be there.
Is it hard to get up the stairs upon coming home? Planning to only go up once and stay there (15 steps.)
Also...anyone had a LAVH and had gas issues? What is recommended -heard to get gas-x.
Thanks in advance,
stressed1.

I had uterine cancer, early stage, and had a DaVinci Robotic total hysterectomy, bilateral oophorectomy and removal of a number of lymph nodes to make sure the cancer had not spread. I stayed overnight and flew my sister in from Illinois to stay with me for 5 days, as I too live alone but with 3 cats. I had zero pain postop. The only pain med I took was 1 dose of Lortab in the hospital, when I very first got back to my room after surgery, and I promptly threw that up. I turn out to be sensitive to it. When they offered something else, I was more "recovered" from anesthesia and realized I had zero pain, so I never took anything for pain either in the hospital or afterward. Went home the next late morning, my sister drove home. I too had been up out of the bed as soon as they got the let compressions devices off me. My theory heading in to surgery was not to lose whatever conditioning I had, and laying around is definitely weakening. So the next morning, my sis and I went out for a drive, went to breakfast, went sight-seeing and a little walking in stores. We did that on both Saturday and Sunday. On Monday and Tuesday, we were a little more laid back, but kept moving. I needed no help with anything, though I did let her cook because she is a super cook and I love to eat her food!!! I was driving the day after discharged, a 6-speed Honda Si. Had no trouble with that at all. I did follow the lifting restrictions like a religion. I found if I took my time, I could do anything I needed to do or wanted to do, except if it required lifting. I let the vacuuming go a week or so, but it's just me, and it was fine. I took 2 weeks off work, then returned to full-time work, but I do computer work and work from home, so I was maximally comfortable and able to get up and walk around any time I needed to. My company was super nice about realizing I might need the occasional nap, but I really didn't. My surgery was in early March, and I live in New England, so walking out doors was not really possible with safety. So I picked a couple stores I like, and would just shop, even though I didn't buy anything. I could gauge my strength by how far through the store I could get before I needed to give it up. I think it was only a month or so before I was really back to pre-surgery functioning. However, it was the better part of a year before I truly felt like myself again.

From what I could see in my group here on HysterSisters who all had surgery the same time I did, it seemed that a simple straight-forward hysterectomy went a bit easier for folks. The folks who had a lot of adhesions from prior surgeries, or endometriosis, etc. seemed (small sample observation here) to experience more pain. Pain was my biggest fear, I must say, so I was very happy that for me it was a non-issue.

I think not laying down and allowing myself to become inactive and keeping up and moving right from the git go, were very beneficial for me - but clearly not everyone will find themselves able to do that. After about 2 weeks, I resumed taking my grandchildren to school and daycare. My granddaughter was 2 at the time, but very, very light and very physically capable. So I was able to help her into her car seat without really having to lift her and my grandson was fully able to get in the car and seat belt, etc. as an 8 year old.

One thing that is very clear to me now going on 2 years out and having followed HysterSisters throughout - every person is different. I observe that people who historically have minimal pain and tend to just keep on moving are able to do that here too. People who experience a fair amount of pain in general, probably will experience more pain because they are more sensitive to it already. So the most helpful thing I can suggest is to self-evaluate - are you a person that shrugs things off and keeps on going, or do thing knock you for a loop and put you out of commission - that probably will give you an idea how you personally react to things, and I suspect whatever is true for you historically will tend to be true for you post hysterectomy as well.

Follow your surgeon's directions, don't be a hero, but if you are feeling good, don't lay around because de-conditioning is a real thing and it can leave you miserable in its own right.

I wish you the very best of luck with your surgery. I hope it will go very well for you.

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Originally Posted by 2painful I am having my surgery in January. Can someone please help me....what level of help am I going to need? I live alone and am worried about how much help I am going to need and for how long. Thanks

Hi there! I had a total abdominal hyster 6 days ago. ...no complications I asked many of the same questions. I am 47 very active single with both my kids away at school. My daughter finished her exams and came home the day before my discharge. I thought I could do it on my on... I was prepared...food... Cleaning...everything. I think I may have been able to it I absolutely HAD to...but I think I would have liked for some to Insist on staying with me for the first few days at least. I was a bit dizzy in the shower (nothing major), and could lift or reach for things as I normally did. Even bending was a bit nerve racking initially (feeding the dog)... So I am forever grateful my daughter was here ..... Not to mention, I had the typical pre-op emotional cry...so having company was great.
As I said I likely could have done it, but with challenges. Also my hospital would not release me unless I had someone staying with me..

Take care....best of luck....everyone is different...and everyone needs help, just different amounts and for different reasons.