Was happy, now really worried...TLH 2 days ago

Been lurking here for just a little while. Had a total hysterectomy a couple of days ago for a fibroid, suspected endo, and cervical dysplasia. Was also scheduled for a bilateral salplingo oophorectomy. We even verified that portion of the program twice in preop. Apparently it turns out the doctor saw no 'active' endo but did see some scarring on the back of my uterus.

Since there was no endo, he opted not to take my ovaries (which was the only thing I had actually been certain that I wanted removed) and said that I have adenomyosis (which was confirmed by pathology yesterday).

I had been on cloud nine since I woke up in recovery. The level of pain since I woke up from surgery has been nothing compared to the pain I've been living with 24/7 for months and months prior to surgery. I was pleased to find that I didn't even require any pain meds. Not the morphine, codine, hydrocodone, or even ibuprofen!

My concern is that when I asked the doctor questions, he was very evasive. When I asked him to define active and inactive endo for me and asked if I had endo that was in remission now, would it return since he had not removed my ovaries. After initially saying that I have 'inactive' endo, he said that was absolutely no sign on endo and that the scarring was due to trauma to my uterus during my only other surgery (a tubal in 2001 after my 3rd child...all were vaginal deliveries).

Each question regarding my prognosis (for I am certain from what I have read thus far here that I don't have to worry about how trying to describe how indescribable the pain has been) was met with crossed fingers and his telling me that, "We're just going to hope for the best! Just think positive thoughts!" I explained that I simply wanted to be reassured (since he had not followed the surgical plan that we had made) that he had addressed my pain and that I would not have to spend the rest of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wanted percentages, I wanted to know what I could reasonably expect from this point on. He refused to answer that question saying that there were no percentages we just needed to cross our fingers and hope for the best and gain that I really needed to work on thinking positive thoughts.

I really hope that he has made the best possible choice for me, but I cannot get any evidence of that from him. When I questioned him about how this different approach (which we had not discussed) will affect, x,y, or z he responds by getting angry with me and saying that he can't possibly be expected to remember my history, he has a lot of patients after all. He no longer seems to be willing to allow me to see the video of the surgery (which had been the plan). And then tried to say that I came to him already misdiagnosed. At which point he was just making things up because I had not seen a gyno since 2001 at my follow up after having my last child at which point this was not even a topic of discussion and I was symptom free.

I'm now very concerned that I've NOT been adequately cared for. I'm terrified that I may require another surgery. I desperately want a second opinion but do wonder what kind of records he's actually kept. The CEO of the hospital came by my room before I was discharged yesterday and apologized (while explaining that doctors were contractors with the hospital, not employees of the hospital) and asked if my doctor had used the robot for the procedure. I said that he had and the CEO's response was, "Well, thank God for that." Which really didn't make me feel any better about the situation.

I guess when you get down to it, all of this...yuck and confusion, has sucked all of the joy out of my hysterectomy. Which sounds counterintuitive, but I was looking forward to finally being out of pain. And now I'm not sure that we've addressed my situation appropriately and that my doctor even tailored my care for my case (which he seemed to be woefully uninformed about when we discussed it that evening).

And so I now feel that I'm stuck in the kind of emotional limbo about this until I can get some actual factual reassurance that I have received the best care possible for my case (if I can even get that now) when I should have been celebrating moving past this painful part of my life.

Any advice, words or wisdom, and/or input is greatly appreciated.

If you're in the US you have legal right to ALL your medical records. I would request them and then I would probably look for another doctor. See if your hospital has a referral service.