I am so not me (children mentioned)

I am now at week 7 and my hormones are everywhere except where they should be. I don't want sex!!!! It agrevates me that my husband is always touching me. I have not been cleared yet due to complications, pain, very large cysts, swelly belly! I just do not feel like me. I'm not repulsed by the thought of sex, just not interested at all. I thought maybe I needed to get in the mood for at least some foreplay, and NOPE, I couldn't get into it and was dry. I would love to sleep all day, and stay in my room away from everyone.
I know I'm depressed, I've been on meds for years, but this is getting bad. I was so upset today I wen't off on a woman who was clearly a methhead.She had no teeth and weighed about 90lbs with dirty clothes and that smell that goes with meth users. She left her 1 1/2 year old to watch her just starting to crawl baby, while she shopped at a small store. she was taking things out and would come back in an look some more. I really want another child so this is a soar spot for me. The children were both beautiful, the oldest was dirty, and the baby was chubby and sooo cute. Baby crawled up to me and I knew if I picked it up I might never let it go. The baby starts to crawl out towards the door and the (mom) yells at the 1 1/2 year old and tells her she's a bad big sister!!! WHAT. ugh. So I told her if she didnt want them then I'd take them gladly, and she shouldn't let a baby watch a baby in a store!!!! I also said some other not nice things to her. She picked up the kids and left all huffy. Anyone could have picked those kids up and took off and she would not have noticed, and there are some really bad people out there. So I cried, cause she has what I want and she doesn't even care enough to protect them. I dream of babys all the time. I just don't know how to get over this all. any suggestions or help please???????

Crashn, I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. And it is unfair that that many lovely people don't get the blessing of children while totally inadequate people do. What we are going through is difficult and hard for people to understand. Please know you're not alone, I know how you feel. Sending you a hug.

Crashn ~ I feel so sad for you. I would like to suggest you check out the Aching Hearts forum for some support on this issue. As for the methhead mother, it truely is sad that those poor children have a mother like her and I probably would have gone off on her too! I'd have probably called the police too! As for sex, well when your body gets better your libido might too. Again, I am truly sorry for your loss and sending you hugs and prayers.

crashn - I'm glad that you posted here and gave us the opportunity to send some hugs your way.

I agree with Jen that you may get some additional support in the Aching Hearts Forum. There are many fabulous ladies here with a whole lot of empathy, including some who are having similar experiences to you. Part of the challenge of course is that nobody has exactly the same emotional and physical response, or even exactly the same condition prior to surgery. That can make it feel extra lonely sometimes. However, in the bigger picture, it often helps each of us to hear perspectives from others and help us to see things we maybe couldn't otherwise. Have you had a chance to see a counselor, particularly because you feel your depression is getting worse? Have you had a chance to talk with your doctor about how you are feeling and whether your current medication is still the most appropriate?

In the meantime, please remember that you are very early in your recovery from MAJOR surgery and it takes some of us months to really feel right side up again. Have as much patience with yourself as you can - the kind of patience you would want to have with your best friend. It may also be helpful to try some visualization exercises, where you spend abit of time each day imagining life as you want it. Not how you think you *should* be or how others want you to be, but simply how life would be in your dreams.

It can also take months for some of us to return to "normal" sexual libido. Again, you are so early on in your recovery. Be extra kind and patient with yourself.

Thank you all for your kind words, I will definately see my Dr about my meds and be checking into Broken hearts. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not crazy, like its ok to have messed up feelings right now! Hugs back to all of you!

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Originally Posted by crashn Thank you all for your kind words, I will definately see my Dr about my meds and be checking into Broken hearts. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not crazy, like its ok to have messed up feelings right now! Hugs back to all of you!

Take care and let us know how you're doing :-)