no libido

I am released to have sex in 2 more weeks, but I have no interest in sex . I am actually afraid to have sex because I know it is going to hurt. Does anyone else feels this way? I am still having some pain from they hysterectomy.

Although I REALLY want to have sex with dh (haven't even 5 times in 11 months due to uterine problems) I'm scared to do it before 8 weeks. I have a bleeding disorder and I'm scared I'll jar something if we move too quickly and I'll have bleeding problems. I hate to make dh wait, but I suppose he's rather have me be comfortable.

I am glad to know that I am not alone.

I have to confess I've been reading about people who can't wait but I have no desire whatsoever. I'm starting to worry. I just keep thinking it is because I an still absorbed in my own discomfort/pain from the whole thing. I was feeling pretty good and when I stood up last night I thought I had popped my incision. It looks fine but boy did it hurt and still does. I'm walking almost like I was the day I came home from the hospital. I'm just hoping that once all of my aches and pains are fading away I will be interested in sex again. I know my husband would appreciate that. ~ Donna

Well it probably helps that I don't have a "victim", but sex is the LAST thing on my mind. Althought the other night when there were some good sex scenes in a movie, I did get a little turned on, but had absolutely no desire to do anything about it. I'm too consumed with all this pain.

Hi EmilyRose,
I'll be 5 weeks post-op tomorrow. Had my 4 week check up last Wednesday. The doc released me then for sex. I, ashamed to say, told my dh I had to wait another week before sex simply because I was afraid & couldn't even think about sex because of the pain & fear. Well, Saturday he decided it was time to try. He's been so patient & wonderful I didn't have the heart to deny him, but I didn't want to do it AT ALL. So, of course, it was awful. I was so tense & afraid of the pain that I couldn't relax. There really wasn't any pain to speak of...just sort of uncomfortable. I got so emotional that I started blubbering in the middle of every thing. DH was awesome though. He stopped & we talked for quite a while. He reassured me that I still felt the same (which was one of my worries) & that he will wait as long as I need to (within reason!) He hasn't tried to initiate anything since, but I know he wants to. Best advise I can give is to make your partner aware of your fears & to try when you feel comfortable with it & not before. Good Luck!!

Okay ladies, I am almost 8 weeks. I was scared because I had no libido, no sex dreams, no nothing! At my 6 wk checkup, the doctor told me to wait til the weekend. I was scared and nervouse - would it hurt? would it feel the same? all the same questions you have. BUT I was very curious about those things too. So, I had a glass of wine and told hubby we needed to try - that I was scared, but I had to know if things were working or not. That first time really wasnt too bad. There was some inital discomfort upon initial penetration. But after that things went well. I was tense, didnt totally relax but did enjoy it. So the next night, things were awesome (so much in fact, he woke me later....) Sorry if this falls under TMI but I thought some encouragement might help. Even now, my libido isnt what I would want it to be, so I am using Testosterne. But once I get started there are no problems (well...sometimes I am too wet...sorry TMI). I think it is hard to relax the first time. But I had no cramps, spotting or anything, so the 2nd time was much better and so on. Good luck, ladies! Hugs...

I get so jealous reading about the women who are active sexually again. It's been over 5 months since my surgery and I have absolutely NO interest in sex. It's not a fear of pain (at least not consciously)...just no libido at all. This is not the norm for me, either. My DH has been wonderful; but I can tell it's starting to bother him. Just a few minutes ago he tried to playfully "corner" me in the bedroom and finally gave up when he realized it wasn't going to happen. I just don't know what to do.

Hi kmb,

Sorry you're having such a lack of desire. I know it's hard for couples to match libido, but sometimes it seems impossible.

Have you checked with your doctor about this? It makes sense that it would be due to a big hormonal change. A lot of times they can "tweak" hormones for that.

Ladies - doesn't this seem like a huge, really common issue? I was surprised by how many this affects. I'm scared to death about sex the first time, but hubby has a low desire compared to mine, so I really have as much time as I need I think. Maybe our desires will match better after this (I have to admit I'm feeling a fraction of my normal desire. It's pretty weird).

Hi emilyrose, I feel the same way you do, I am glad that there are others that feel the same way. I am so scared for the first time, my dh is being so understanding.