3 weeks away, want to be left alone!!

My laproscopic hysto and bladder repair is only 3 weeks away, I have been having lots of crying spells, and anxiety, never had a surgery before. Still wondering if it is necessary. I have heavy periods, lots of clots, and bleed durring intercourse. Also can no longer use tampons do to swelling and some strange bulge that appears durring my periods. My dr. Said I have a prolapsed uterus and bladder. I know something is wrong inside me that needs to be fixed, but Surgery like this seems so drastic. On top of that, explaining to people why I can't leave the house for a week out of the month is embarrassing, need to be near a bathroom constantly , etc. I don't like to talk about it, and I don't want sympathy... That just makes me emotional... Is it wrong that I want to be alone? My mother wants to go with me for pre op, I told her sure...to ease her mind, but when it comes time, I will have to explain to her I am braver alone. I hate to hurt her feelings, but I don't want all this "support" I know they love me and want to be there but it makes it harder for me, how do I tell everyone without hurting there feelings? It's so hard to explain, I'm so lucky to have support and love... But I just want to do it by myself, I don't want to cry, and other people around me make it hard not to...

Its hard being vulnerable isn't it? This surgery is very hard to prepare for physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually so go easy on yourself. Its okay to cry and okay others to help you and to been seen as less than perfect. I am going through the same struggles myself so I totally understand your doubts and the day to day rollercoaster of emotions. It is hard to be vulnerable when women are always the strong ones, the ones who put a brave face on and keep it all together. But hey we can't always be brave this is a life changing surgery and you need all the support you can get. I wish you all the very best for the future. Hugs and xxxxxxxx

I too would like to be left alone for a while - but it probably won't happen. My DH is attached at the hip and worries about me constantly.

When I had my hysteroscopy I thought it would be annoying to have him there the whole time. But it wasn't so bad. Everything went by so fast and suddenly they were wheeling me down the corridor to the operating room. He was actually helpful in making sure everything got put in its place when I was switching clothes and keeping track of my phone.

Perhaps it will help you if you give your mom a "job" like making notes of when you can eat again, and any post surgical instructions. And if she gets too annoying, ask her to go do something for you. (Raid the guest area for extra oreos!!)

If you get closer and still don't want her there, call her up and tell her. Let her know that you really need the alone time and you will focus better on what the doctor is telling you during pre-op if you don't have her there to distract her or prevent you from asking an embarrassing question. She knows you and will understand.

Good luck!

Thanks for the comments , u r correct about talking to my doctor in front of my mother... I tend to tell my dr all is well when it is not, when my mom is there.... I guess I just don't want to worry her, I love her so much, it hurts me to see her worry... I just want to get this over with and come out with a smile... For her and my husband... If only everyone would give me some space!!!! I don't like anyone to see me cry

As for my husband... I kinda don't want him to stay post op... Catheter , and all, embarrassing .... He watched me give birth to all our kids , but this is different, I don't know how to tell everyone I want to do this alone, all I want is someone to take my kids to school and help them with homework....

Hi CrystalW:
My date is the same day. I understand how you are feeling since I was experiencing much of the same. I am hiding out at work because I just want to get through the day as productively as possible and I do not want to talk about my upcoming surgery. I asked my husband to come with me to pre-op but now I don't think I want him there. I also don't want him hanging around the hospital during my surgery. Luckily his office is right down the street so he will only be a phone call away.

I know you do not want to worry your Mom and that you are a private person. Maybe have her drive you to the appt but wait in the reception? AT least she will feel like she is helping.

Sending you hugs and positive thoughts.