feeling hopeless

My tubes are tied, I have suffered from endometriosis for years that is now in my muscle prompting my doctor to suggest a partial hysterectomy. A couple weeks ago I found out I have a large cyst on my ovary so now a full hysterectomy may be in order. My tubes were tied at 23, and I am now 34. I have questioned for years if I should do in vitro because I am on my second marriage and what if he wants more kids? On top of that my first marriage was very bad and my 1st husband (not so nicely) pushed me into having my tubes tied because " we didnt need more kids" well a year ago his new wife had one. I feel that this is so unfair and feel like something was taken from me and no I am at the brink of no return. I dont think at my age I want more children and my pain is beyond unbearable, but what if I regret this? I know that the odds are against me even if I werent doing this, its just so final. Also I have a strong family history of breast cancer so if I go into menopause there isnt alot I could take for the side effects. I scheduled my surgery and I know I cant take this pain anymore but im so scared. I even read somewhere u can start to look like a guy? I know im probably being dumb and have never opened up to complete strangers like this but I am so confused now on what to do.

Hi lisa dd -

Your emotions are very normal. This is a very difficult surgery to contemplate.

Is our surgeon an endo specialist? Please be aware that a hysterectomy does not cure endo, as the disease can continue to grow without the uterus and ovaries. You may want to get a second opinion on your condition to see what options you have.

However, this surgery will not make you look like a guy. Whoever said that did not have a clue. Surgical menopause may be very rough for you without HRT. You may want to check on your options there as well.

Know that you are not alone in this. We are here for you. Keep asking questions and talking about your feelings. It really does help.

Here are a bunch of Endometriosis Articles. Hopefully they can provide you with some information.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa dd My tubes are tied, I have suffered from endometriosis for years that is now in my muscle prompting my doctor to suggest a partial hysterectomy. A couple weeks ago I found out I have a large cyst on my ovary so now a full hysterectomy may be in order. My tubes were tied at 23, and I am now 34. I have questioned for years if I should do in vitro because I am on my second marriage and what if he wants more kids? On top of that my first marriage was very bad and my 1st husband (not so nicely) pushed me into having my tubes tied because " we didnt need more kids" well a year ago his new wife had one. I feel that this is so unfair and feel like something was taken from me and no I am at the brink of no return. I dont think at my age I want more children and my pain is beyond unbearable, but what if I regret this? I know that the odds are against me even if I werent doing this, its just so final. Also I have a strong family history of breast cancer so if I go into menopause there isnt alot I could take for the side effects. I scheduled my surgery and I know I cant take this pain anymore but im so scared. I even read somewhere u can start to look like a guy? I know im probably being dumb and have never opened up to complete strangers like this but I am so confused now on what to do.

Im in my 5th week since my tah. I too had extremely bad endometriosis. Iv had pain since in my 20s am now 42. I had bad cysts on my overies too. It was even covering my appendix. My doc said it looked like someone poured a bottle of glue on everything. It was a mess. I too just could not tolerate the pain any longer. And iv never given birth. My husband and I talked about kids many yrs ago and decided when we are ready we would adopt. I went on birth control to help with the pain and periods but a few months ago my pain all came back with a vengance! I just could not go no further. We do have a son who is now 12. We were blessed with him and feel it was divine intervention. Dont be scared. You are not going to look like a guy! Once you have it done you will feel so much better soon. Recovery takes paitence. Everyone tells me I will feel like a new woman soon. I cant wait. Im getting there. I have a wonderful support system. My family and friends and I have several girlfriends who also had hysts done as well and they tell me if only they had done it sooner! They feel wonderful. Just think of the positives that will come from it. Theres no reason to continue to suffer. I put faith also in my creator to give me the strength and courage I need to endure this process. Hyster sisters have really been wonderful as well. Iv had so many of my concerns answered. Try not to worry. Im sure your family wants you well and happy. And if your hubby truly loves you he will want whats best for you. I truly wish you all the best. You are always welcome to ask me any questions you may have. I will be seeing my doc next week.

It can be difficult to make this decision, but especially with endometriosis since a hysterectomy is not a cure. If any endometriosis is missed or left behind, pain from endometriosis can continue whether or not you have your reproductive organs. That is why it is so very important that you find a very skilled and knowledgeable surgeon, someone other than your OB/GYN. There is an article in the link shared above with some tips for finding an endometriosis specialist that you might want to check out. You can also visit our Endometriosis Support forum where you can connect with other women dealing with endometriosis.

You may also want to talk to a genetic counselor about your true breast cancer risks so you can plan accordingly. Depending on your specific genetic concern, there may be other cancers or health concerns you need to address. You also need to keep in mind that an oophorectomy comes with several risks, so you want to know that those risks outweigh any real cancer risks.

Have you had a second opinion yet? If not, I would encourage you to get one before heading into OR. You can't undo this surgery, but you can postpone until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is right for you.

I think every woman deserves at least one other opinion from a different doctor. Better still even, three opinions. Like others already said make sure they are specialized in endo.

I had IVF at 32 yrs old and have a beautiful 9 year old. We are in the process to adopt from foster care now.

So my advice is to first get another opinion and schedule an appointment with an IVF clinic and get a consultation on your chances of conceiving. Basically explore literally all your options. This is major surgery and permenant.