1 week post hysterectomy: Well, this is just awful. Mostly on my own.

(I wanted to say this sucks, but I don't want to be kicked off.)
I'm one week post op (da Vinci laparoscopic vaginal thing, still have an ovary yay!), a single mom of a very helpful, yet still YouTube obsessed 16 year old. I was doing great with mostly just lost gas pains up until Sunday night. Things really hit the fan, been back to the doc for UTI (I had no clue) and vaginal site infection. I have two antibiotics with scary side effects (one says call the doc right away if you get a headache, the other actually gives you a headache!).
My parents are nearby and stop in every day. They've been extremely helpful and willing but it's the times when nobody is here but me, or when my daughter is here but is so wrapped up in the videos that she doesn't even hear me - this is the awful part. I haven't been sleeping well at all and I try to drink the water and take the walks, but sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind, I know since Sunday night I haven't been able to keep track of when I've taken the pain mess, so I err on the side of caution in order to preserve my liver. The gas pains and uti symptoms are just off the charts.
Not sure why I wrote all this, just needed to vent, I guess. Thanks for being here.

Advice for the day: always copy the text of your post before posting, just in case it doesn't take and you have to start all over again.

First of BIG HUGS to you! It sounds like you're having a tough time with recovery. I can somewhat relate as I have a 14 year old son and a 15 year old daughter. My son was way more helpful in the recovery process than my daughter was. My kids would ride their bikes to and from school, thank goodness for good weather, and it's about a half hour ride each way. My son would always rush home and see if I needed anything, take the dogs out, etc. I don't blame my daughter for not being as helpful, I really think it's just the age.

I second your advice for the day! That's happened to me numerous times!

I suggest keeping a diary of meds. Basically, write down what and when you took them last. That way you won't keep causing yourself trouble by not remembering when you took them.

As for your teenager, you are her parent aren't you? Take away the headphones, take away the speakers. If necessary take away the computer, her phone, and her tablet. You may have had surgery but you are still her mother. And if she's being a selfish brat, then do what you need to do. Even if you have to lock them in your car and keep the keys in the bed with you. As my mother was fond of saying to me as a teenager "as long as she's under your roof, she's going to do what you say".

	Quote:
Originally Posted by moiraesfate I suggest keeping a diary of meds. Basically, write down what and when you took them last. That way you won't keep causing yourself trouble by not remembering when you took them. As for your teenager, you are her parent aren't you? Take away the headphones, take away the speakers. If necessary take away the computer, her phone, and her tablet. You may have had surgery but you are still her mother. And if she's being a selfish brat, then do what you need to do. Even if you have to lock them in your car and keep the keys in the bed with you. As my mother was fond of saying to me as a teenager "as long as she's under your roof, she's going to do what you say".

I second this.
Just change the wifi password and shut off data to phone. She will have a fit but she will survive. She needs to help you right now!

Mom of a 17 yr old who I call TeenGirl. She's actually an awesome kid, but yeah, digital is their world.

Idea #1 for daughter: It sounds like a matter of getting her attention rather than her being intentionally disobedient. Text her on her phone when she can't hear you. I've done that . Just a "Hey, hon, would you come help with something?" If it's laundry, you'll have to text her again when it's ready to go from the washer to the dryer, and again when it's ready to be folded, but it works.

Idea #2 for meds: Keep a log of when you take each one. I just used a yellow note pad with columns for each one, and I'd write the times down under the respective columns. At the start of a new day, draw a heavy line along the bottom of yesterday's log with a Sharpie and start the new day.

Vent away! We're here for that too!

Thanks everyone, my Mom suggested the med log too, so I have started one. Brilliant advice that I should have thought of if I hadn't already lost all my common sense! (I have chronic Lyme disease too and have become very brain foggy over the last few months.)
My daughter isn't being bad, she will do things if I ask her and will be very attentive, she's a wonderful kid overall. I think it's more that I feel lonely with her around when she's in her video world. At least I did last night. That's been my revelation today. Strong, independent me is getting lonely in this recovery! She and I used to play board games all the time and she will often offer to play a game with me when I ask her to be present, unfortunately I don't really feel like playing games - except my own guilty pleasure of solitaire on my phone. I just don't have the stamina right now to tough out a two player anything. We talk a lot in the later evening, which I love.
Thanks for being here and responding, it means so much!!

	Quote:
Originally Posted by moiraesfate I suggest keeping a diary of meds. Basically, write down what and when you took them last. That way you won't keep causing yourself trouble by not remembering when you took them. As for your teenager, you are her parent aren't you? Take away the headphones, take away the speakers. If necessary take away the computer, her phone, and her tablet. You may have had surgery but you are still her mother. And if she's being a selfish brat, then do what you need to do. Even if you have to lock them in your car and keep the keys in the bed with you. As my mother was fond of saying to me as a teenager "as long as she's under your roof, she's going to do what you say".

Yep, I'm agreeing here. I have a teenage son, and this is exactly what I would do. I'd be really concerned about the YouTube because I have seen some really bizarre stuff on there. And I know what it's like to have a teen with a computer, mine plays a lot of strategy games, but during my recovery, if my DH was gone, my son was very attentive, texting me to see if i needed anything, checking on me regularly, and if I needed anything he'd hop to. So I get the situation. Maybe there's a show you both love to watch that you can "binge watch' together? My son and I watched Highlander one day, like a marathon, and it was fun for him because he got to explain his favorite show to me. And I had his company, which was nice.

The texting is a good idea. Have her keep her phone on a high volume, and text her at intervals, even just for some more water. Your job is to rest as much as you can, so you can be the best mom you can be when you're done recovering.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by aroger3 (I wanted to say this sucks, but I don't want to be kicked off.) I'm one week post op (da Vinci laparoscopic vaginal thing, still have an ovary yay!), a single mom of a very helpful, yet still YouTube obsessed 16 year old. I was doing great with mostly just lost gas pains up until Sunday night. Things really hit the fan, been back to the doc for UTI (I had no clue) and vaginal site infection. I have two antibiotics with scary side effects (one says call the doc right away if you get a headache, the other actually gives you a headache!). My parents are nearby and stop in every day. They've been extremely helpful and willing but it's the times when nobody is here but me, or when my daughter is here but is so wrapped up in the videos that she doesn't even hear me - this is the awful part. I haven't been sleeping well at all and I try to drink the water and take the walks, but sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind, I know since Sunday night I haven't been able to keep track of when I've taken the pain mess, so I err on the side of caution in order to preserve my liver. The gas pains and uti symptoms are just off the charts. Not sure why I wrote all this, just needed to vent, I guess. Thanks for being here. Advice for the day: always copy the text of your post before posting, just in case it doesn't take and you have to start all over again.

Hi, you are still early into recovery which can feel pretty rough..Walking, hydrate, rest & repeat. Youll have to be in communication w your Dr about your meds. Heat pad pain, cold pack for swelling.

Its best to keep a journal of your med schedule. Ut diesnt hurt to have a food exwrcise & symptom journal too..

gas, peppermint tea, gas x. walking, hydrate is tge best. Also the sluggish GI contributes to gas. Fruits, veggies, prunes, juices, pumpkin seeds. Smoothies are great. blueberry, spinach, fkax seeds, yogurt & or almond milk, ice. If on antibiotics take yogurt, kefir or probiotics.

Your hormones may be not functioning well. The ovaries need a new blood supply from being severed. So symptoms of menopause are not uncommon...It takes time to resume function. Fatigue, insomnia, brain fog, hot flashes, anxiety, depression, moodiness, dryness, joint pains + may occur.

I had a talk w my teen & explained recovery & said must help out. I leverage electronics, its not easy. Week 4 I felt human, week 5 better..Feel better!

I hate to compare a human to my dogs but..... my Belgian Malinois had a serious infection. She had 4 different pills to take and not the same amount or at the same time! You know those magnetic grocery list things for your fridge door??? I had one of those. I wore the name of each medication across the top, the day of the week down the side and every time she got a pill, I put a check mark. This way when I woke up in the morning or before bed at night I wasn't left wondering did I give it to her or didn't I??? Seems silly... we are grown women, must of us having brought children into this world and yet we can't remember if we took a pill or at what time! Make yourself a little chart. Then you don't have to wonder.

Don't worry about not thinking about the med journal thing. You have a good excuse. You've had major surgery and I'm pretty sure your head isn't on straight just yet. For the first couple weeks, I felt like I was in the clouds. I'm feeling much better now. Definitely not perfect but today is the most pain free day I've had since surgery (yay). I'm just tired tonight. Didn't do much more than normal either.

I'm glad your teenager is good. I'm not so worried about the youtube stuff. She is 16 after all, so not a child, just young. My husband sits on youtube all the time, mostly watching prank videos, and music videos with some cat videos (he particularly likes the talking cat videos with steve and sylvester and they are hilarious. I watch with him. You should youtube them. Steves a great guy who loves his kitties and gives them voices based on their meows. It's really funny. Check out the Random Gibsons. They are absolutely adorable. Trust me).

I understand the feeling lonely part. By nature I'm an introvert. But I don't have kids and the family on either side wasn't able to help (mine lives in Canada, and his father had a diabetic.. can't think of the word, not a stroke but the one where your body shakes uncontrollably and you go unconscious... two days before my surgery so he needs his wife and daughter right now. And the nieces just went back to school for the year. Basically, unless my husband is here, I'm alone. I never thought I'd be lonely, but I am. So I go sit with my husband when he comes home until bedtime. He just had to go to bed because he has to work tomorrow.

I suggest trying to find some hobbies and things you can do to pass the time like play computer games on your laptop. You will be surprised how quickly the time goes, and it will help you get your mental faculties back together too after convalescence. And it doesn't matter if you fall asleep either because you won't impact anything.