what to say to family

Hi All,

I am scheduled for surgery on April 5th and I kept hearing before my date was set that this is a hard surgery to go through and was being told that I have no idea how hard it will be and all these people kept telling me that they will be there for me just to let them know when it is and now all of the sudden everyone is telling me that it's no big deal and that I will get over it in just a few days and be back to doing everything myself. I have also let everyone know that was offering to help when it is and now they all say they can't be there. My date was set for this past March 1st and was cancelled because of insurance denial and I had to fight to get it approved and now there is someone telling me that these problems with insurance and things happening is just someone trying to tell me that this isn't the right time and that if I have it done then something might happen to me. I am so frustrated with people expecting me to put my surgery off because it's inconvient to them and being so negitive about everything. What should I say to these people. I don't want to be rude but I don't need the added stress right now either. There is nothing worse then someone telling you right before surgery that something might happen if you go through with this. THanks for listening and being here.

Kristy

Kristy -

Follow your heart ... it must be the right time or you wouldnt be here in the land of hyster with us.

I am sorry everyone is giving you mixed messages but do what is right for you!!!!!

My husband told me at dinner tonight that he has talked with other husbands and it isnt a big deal!! Yes, right ...lets see them go through it!! I am laughing outloud at the thought ....

Hang in there and keep in touch with the sisters, we are here for you!!!

Where are you from?

Tamie

((( Kristy ))) , I'm sorry that you're being scared by ( hopefully ) well meaning people. Of course, there's always risks involved when you have surgery - but, you'll have a well trained surgical team there to keep a close eye on you and to keep the risks at a minimum.

There's a list of FAQ's for Family and Friends here . I printed it and gave it to my DH before my surgery. It really helped him a lot. He understood better what to expect and how to help me. When someone called to ask how to help - he had answers for them.

For the people who are negative about it - just tell them that you're doing what you and your dr have determined is best for YOU!

Best wishes.

s

Do what you need to do for you - and tell everyone else that. Mine would actually be in a lot stronger terms to people. It's my body and my choice - period.

As for the offers of help - the actual help will come from the ones you least expect it from. Been down that road many, many times. The person I least expected to be there for me was the one who was with no reservation. It will probably be someone you don't know very well. Happened when my DH had brain surgery - an acquaintance from work showed up (the doc did her husband's surgery) and she heard thru the grapevine about DH's. Many women can't deal with you having it done - perhaps because it rings close to home that they may have to do it also at some point.

I understand complietly, I am going though the same thing, and I have severe dysplasia, which is a step before cervical cancer. I am a full time student and 27, and my perfessor (anatomy and pysiology) told me dont you think you could wait for surgey till this summer. I couldn't belive what I was hearing. As she told me that I was like "sure lets wait....till it becomes cancer and I have to go though cemo" are you kidding me...I was thinking. Anyway hang in there, just think of how great you are going to feel once it is all over and the recovery time is over. I have heard you/we will fell like new women.
Stay strong and don't get discouraged
Sharon. TVH 4/11