Feel like a cheater, so confused

I am 38, had 1 child 12 yrs ago. I wanted more, but my spouse would not hear of it. Since the birth of my child I had many problems, and never felt "right". I always thought it was emotional pain manifesting as a physical problem. Last year I was told I had a 60% uterine prolapse, a cystocele, rectocele, and a hyperactive bladder. I lost weight, and changed my eating and now juice my veggies. The juicing helped with the urinary problems but not the vaginal,rectal ones.
Each time I research non surgical alternatives and options, I become nauseated and weak in the knees.
I am terrified that I may go crazy as a result of early menopause, and of my sex life being miserable.
The wonderful women on these forums have many complicated diagnoses, and I feel lame even concerning mine. I know its a big deal to me. When I weigh out pros and cons, the pro surgery wins...yet, when I go to think of it, I feel like Im gonna pass out.
BTW...I am starting school and a new business, and may loose health insurance soon. I have amazing coverage right now. Anyone else feeling a bit....weak in the knees? How did you all cope or make your decision?
Thanks for your patience on the long read

You need to consider your quality of life. How is it right now? Is what you're doing helping? Will surgery potentially make it a lot better?

That said, if you're a leaning towards surgery and about to lose fabulous health insurance that needs to be considered.

Get a second opinion if you're still unsure.

I put off surgery for 4 years trying alternatives as I was just not ready. For 1 year it was good then increasingly not working. I wish I had just done the surgery 4 years ago when I had health insurance. I don't now and ended up having to take money out of my retirement fund when it became clear surgery was the only thing that would restore my quality of life. I also had my ovaries removed. I looked at HRT and non-HRT options but decided HRT was the way to go for me as I was not menopausal and didn't want the shock of sudden surgical menopause. I had an estrogen implant put in during surgery and it seems to be working out well. If you look at the menopause section you will see that it can sometimes take a whole to get just the right combination of HRT or natural aids to manage an individuals symptoms. Can be a bit of trial and error.

Good luck with your decision making and whatever treatment you choose.

Thank you. The insurance issue is one that makes it to the top of my, reasons to do it list. When I had the pessary placed, I realized just how miserable I really was. I am confident that having the procedures will improve my life. Sitting in the Dr's office now, getting ready to sign consents.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by katscoz I put off surgery for 4 years trying alternatives as I was just not ready. For 1 year it was good then increasingly not working. I wish I had just done the surgery 4 years ago when I had health insurance. I don't now and ended up having to take money out of my retirement fund when it became clear surgery was the only thing that would restore my quality of life. I also had my ovaries removed. I looked at HRT and non-HRT options but decided HRT was the way to go for me as I was not menopausal and didn't want the shock of sudden surgical menopause. I had an estrogen implant put in during surgery and it seems to be working out well. If you look at the menopause section you will see that it can sometimes take a whole to get just the right combination of HRT or natural aids to manage an individuals symptoms. Can be a bit of trial and error. Good luck with your decision making and whatever treatment you choose.

Thank you. I appreciate you sharing your story, and feel like I totally relate. I know I will mourn the loss and that's ok. I am having martial problems and feel like I am needing to make this decision alone. Thank you again, reading the post made me feel better.

I went back and forth over having a hysterectomy for 4 years. While an illness in March tipped me over the edge, the thing that sealed the deal was realizing we do have good insurance now and who knows what will happen in the future? It's mostly worked well for me, and since I'm in my mid-50s, I haven't had to worry about hormone replacement. Your age does matter, but maybe you should have a hysterectomy and save your ovaries if they aren't problematic?

I didn't have to really think hard if it was right for me although I felt silly for having one without the major issues some women have had before going through with it (I had normal periods and only a couple of months of mild to moderate pain)
We just got insurance after 11 yrs without it so that was a factor although in the end wasn't sure if it would pay because of the preexisting condition (they did pay)! Although I wasn't in excrutiating pain from the uterine prolapse I knew it wouldn't go away or get better, but only get worse as I got older (I am 38). I didn't want to have surgery later in life although I have no health issues..heck I haven't been sick in over 15 yrs other than bladder infections and allergies.

I am so glad I did it..the thought of not having to count the days before my next period is awesome!

I am in the same boat. I don't have a lot of the issues that other women have, I have very little pain, normal periods, but my bladder is becoming an issue and we are changing insurance in January and I don't know if the doctor I trust will be covered anymore. It seems the stars are aligning for me or something....the bladder got worse enough right before our insurance change to prompt my doctor to do a hysterectomy to try and stop the Endo from spreading. I guess it is meant to be. Yes the surgery is going to be painful, yes the recovery seems long, but it is a small amount of time when looking at your entire life. If you can put an end to the problems you have and improve your quality of life...go for it.

I had been having increasingly heavy periods for years, sometimes leaving me anaemic, with an almost constant discharge linking them all. Luckily no pain as such. Having read other people health problems I felt I was lucky, but still accepted that I needed a hyst, and deserved a better quality of life.

Friends said that, if I was putting concerns about work before my own health, then I was not ready psychologically for a hyst.
I did have an ablation of the uterus 3 years ago, as for many
women it stops periods altogether. Not me sadly. It was not the right treatment for my fibroids and cysts.
My GP told me, that when I was ready, just call and she would refer me. After 1 period I decided enough was enough.

Sounds to me that you have plenty of reasons for wanting to have surgery, but are having doubts about pros and cons.
No-one goes into it without lots of thought.
Vent as much as you need, that is what this forum is for. Support from people who know what you are going through.
:bunnyhug:

I was in the same boat. Heavy bleeding, constant discharge, anemia. But pain was only a problem 1 or 2 days a month and I felt like if there was no serious pain issues then I didn't "deserve" to have major surgery to correct the issue.

I had always had good insurance so it wasn't a concern at first. I lost my ins just about the same time I started having more serious issues related to the anemia.

When I got ins back I made the first available appt and had surgery in the middle of a blizzard

I think ability to afford treatment is a reasonable, valid concern and one of many options to consider. Best Wishes. . .