Can't stop the waterworks!

My surgery is scheduled for 10/24 and today I just can't seem to pull it together. I have been on and off all day. Is this normal because I feel like an emotional basketcase?! I know that I am making the right decision and I have gotten 3 different opinions. I am actually looking forward to feeling better. What is wrong with me?

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Originally Posted by Reader44 My surgery is scheduled for 10/24 and today I just can't seem to pull it together. I have been on and off all day. Is this normal because I feel like an emotional basketcase?! I know that I am making the right decision and I have gotten 3 different opinions. I am actually looking forward to feeling better. What is wrong with me?

What's wrong with you is you're human!
At least you're going in prepared. I basically went in thinking "yipee, 4 days' vacation in the hospital -- TV and painkillers!" When I emerged, abs distended, tired, etc, and suddenly aware of the long recuperation and all, I had SEVERAL waterworks days -- emotions all over the place, feeling like a physical freak, every tear-jerker in the book. Two days ago I cried so hard that I got the worst headache I ever had in my LIFE! It was agony. My boyfriend went out and got me a really heavy painkiller --from a friend of his--that just knocked me out. And you know what? Yesterday and today have been just fabulous. Not even an Advil. I've been walking, feel super positive, and just know that in 5 weeks (at my 6-week checkup) I will be on my way to "normalcy", will get rid of that ridiculous little "shelf belly" and will really enjoy life without those debilitating fibroids. So consider your pre-op tears and worry as very healthy signs of awareness and preparation, and you'll be just fine.

Hang in there and best of luck!

Hi Reader 44
not sure what to to say to you, but I really feel for you. I think its understandable that you are upset and tearful, you are so young to have to go through this. What is the biggest thing thats upsetting you..fear? finality? sense of failure? or all the above? At the age of 40 these are the things going through my head, please feel assured that all these are normal. Have you been offered the chance of councelling..it may sound daft but I know a few women who have taken this option and it really helped. In my knowledge the psychological effects of hysterectomy can be much more difficult to deal with than the physical side of things. Talk to your doc about counselling services in your area, it cerainly cant do any harm. You are in my thoughts, hope this helps. Lots of hugs & xxxx

Thanks for the support guys! I really need it right now. My DH is just trying to get over the fact that I am crying since I rarely do. I don't think that he quite knows what to do. I'm not depressed or upset that's why it's strange. I actually feel pretty good I just start crying over the littlist things. Even when I am crying I am thinking "why am I crying?" Maybe it's the Lupron injection I had a couple of weeks ago. Who knows. I am actually feeling a little excited at the prospect of not having to live my life around my reproductive system. I have kids so I am not mourning that loss as many people understandably (sp)do. Maybe it's just all of the tension that has built over the past couple of months I have waited coming out.
Janedoe212, glad to hear that you are doing so well! I only hope to be so lucky!

I really appreciate the support of the on this site. It has helped calm me tremendously. I'm just .What can I say?

(((Reader)))...

You poor baby!

Like the others have said, there is absoutely nothing wrong with you. You are just feeling your feelings. Like Jandoe says, you have just gotten in touch with your grief *before* surgery. You've gotten a little headstart, which is not a bad thing.

I read your profile and saw that you have 3 biological kids. I hope you don't think that that doesn't mean it's not hard to lose your uterus. I remember feeling that I'd lost my babys' first homes, and that made me very sad. I was 42 when I had my hyst, and even though I didn't want more children (and at my age it would have been a stretch anyway), I still felt the loss of the ability to have them. And, you're only 28! Like Elem says, this can be a very emotional surgery. Those are some special organs you are losing, even if they've been driving you bonkers and wrecking your life! You can feel relief and grief at the same time.

Good luck with your surgery.



Margot

I'm still listening and feeling for you reader. I have thought of you several times. I'm a mess too, but haven't been able to cry today for some reason. What time do you go in on Monday?

giddyup68gt Thankfully, I have to be at the Castle at 8am for a surgery time of 10am! When I went in for one of my laporoscopies I was scheduled for like 2pm and it was terrible all day just waiting around with no food or water.

Smargie thanks, I guess I never thought of it that way. Somehow it seems like I should be more grateful and less sad at the loss because I know so many people who were not as lucky. In a way I feel guilty if that makes any sense.

I am feeling better emotionally today but I'm starving since I had to start clear liquids last night at 8pm! Not looking forward to the mag citrate at 2pm either. The DH is being a bad word I can't write on this site today. I know that he's just worried but I would like to him.

Thanks for all of the support guys! I really appreciate it.

Crying before is absolutely normal as is crying afterwards. I remember once I got home from the hospital, every night when DH and I went to bed I would just sob because I felt sooooo crappy and I hate feeling like that. He would just hold me and tell me it would get better. At that time it was hard to believe but now that I am back to normal (other than swelly belly) I guess I believe him. Take this opportunity to get closer to your DH. Let him know that when you cry you just need to be loved. Having this surgery did wonders for my marriage. I have a new respect for my husband. Good luck to you.

Hello Reader44,

I was going to say the same as Smargie.
I wanted 3 children but had to stop at 2 (nothing to do with the hysterectomy)but that was 3 years before the op. It still felt like a loss, even though I know how lucky I am to have kids. It's a huge op, you are bound to have strong emotions of fear, uncertainty and grief. It is completely normal to feel like that before as well as after the op.

As Elem mentioned, you will need to recover emotionally as well as physically.

By the way, my husband is wonderful and has been a tower of strength, but he was a pig before the op too. As you say, he's worried. It really helped us when I printed off something for him to read about partners needing to talk to the women. It might have been from this site - try looking on the MisterHyster bit.
Good luck with everything,
Miz x

I cried alot before and after the surgery. For me, it was giving up the dream of having a family. I do have one daughter and I'm thankful for her. She is grown and on her own, but I wanted a husband and a family and that's not going to happen now. I have accepted that. This whole thing is a process and tears are a part of it. Let yourself feel and grieve. You'll feel better in time.