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sex and depression post hysterectomy. :(
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02-18-2017, 01:01 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1
Hysterectomy: December 13th, 2016
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sex and depression post hysterectomy. :(
I am just over 2 months post op. To be frank I am devastated at the difference in sex is for me. Everyone I talked to before hand assured me nothing would change and it was the best decision they'd ever made etc. So I had high hopes that this was a good thing. I had a complete removal of uterus and cervix. I'm 42 so i'm in or was in my prime for sex. Last year was the best year ever for me. Then this happen. I literally have no sensation, I cry every time I have sex because it's just seems over for me. Now I don't even have a desire for sex, I assume it's because I don't get anything out of it now. It has always been hard for me to have the big "O" but now it's impossible. I came here hoping to find someone who understand what i'm going through and hopes there is something that can help. I just feel like the removal of the cervix was a huge mistake.
Not to mention I just met the love of my life last year and he is 8 years younger than me which is another reason i'm worried. I mean he understands what's going on but I feel so bad cuz I'm just not into it like I was.
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02-18-2017, 07:17 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 2,158
Hysterectomy: December 16th, 2015
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: sex and depression post hysterectomy. :(
Aw, sweet sister. Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there.
I am 14 months out. The first few months post-op, our sex life was good, and mainly I was thrilled because I could have sex without excruciating pain, which had been my reality for years. But now, looking back? Not that good, although I could orgasm.
I would recommend masturbation, and finding out how you can orgasm, kegels, and getting into a really good core workout to strengthen all of those muscles that support and surround your vagina. And keep having sex! Even if you aren't all that interested, because the more you do, the more that interest will come back, the more your pelvic floor will be strengthened, the better it will get and be for you.
Hang in there. This is a much longer healing process than 2 months! But it gets better!
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02-19-2017, 05:26 PM
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Posts: 18,968
Hysterectomy: May 16th, 2016
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: sex and depression post hysterectomy. :(
The first time back for me wasn't fireworks and rainbows. It was to see if the parts worked. They did, and that was the extent of it. For three days afterwards I dealt with the effects of vaginal dryness because my ovaries weren't up to speed. Future trysts we used lubrication, and now we don't need that anymore.
I retained my cervix. My doctor and I both felt that it wasn't broken, so no need to take it. The medical community is divided on whether or not the cervix helps pelvic support, and also whether the cervix contributes to our sex lives - the latter is difficult to measure scientifically. Sex has changed for me - I don't get the deep contractions which probably were uterine, but I can still orgasm. It takes more foreplay and intimate touching, though... and both my guy and I are okay with that. You might have to experiment to see what might stimulate you.
Right now at 2 months post-op, you're still getting back your body. Did you keep your ovaries? It might be that they're not up to speed yet. If you've lost your libido, it very well could be hormone levels (see No Sex Drive After Hysterectomy). This is something you can talk to your doctor about.
Finally, keep communication open with your guy. Perhaps get him on board with trying a few things differently. He sounds so understanding!
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