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When is enough? When is enough?

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Unread 09-21-2012, 03:36 PM
When is enough?

Thank you to all the contributors for this site. I have learned a great deal already. I have been trying to find an answers how to work with a variety of estrogen dominant related problems for a little over three years now. That includes lots of polyps, fibroids, hyperplasia, adenomyosis and continuous bleeding (occasionally heavy but almost never ending). Three D&Cs, Megace treatment and several BC attempts have not worked. I am back on Megace again. I forgot a pill by 7 hrs and learned what a chemically induced D&C was like (very bad). I had yet another ultrasound and tissue sample yesterday. The topic came up about a hysterectomy again. It needs to be abdominal because there is a small potential cancer concern. I joined this forum to find out how you evaluate the situation to determine when you say 'just do it'. I have not found much info about my docs suggestions about continuing Megace until menopause hits and then this nonsense should stop. Since this mess is probably a peri menopause gone nuts, how do you ladies decide when enough is enough. I am 50 this year and the doc hopes I can just get into menopause soon as it should be close. But I am worn out with messing with all this. Ideas, suggestions, others who have tried to wait...
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Unread 09-21-2012, 05:42 PM
Re: When is enough?

Totally get your when is enough enough question. Guess it is different for everyone and no one can really tell you a definate answer to that question. I waited 7 years before I did anything and my issues were very similar to yours with hyperplasia, heavy bleeding, multiple D&Cs and biopsies, just about every BCP known to mankind, a disaster of a IUD, and constant spotting. Major difference is waiting for menopause wasnt an option since am only 38 and my mother died at age 54 before she started menopause. I just decided that I was tired of fighting it everyday. If I was closer to menopause, not sure how I would have reacted. The only question I have is if there is a cancer concern, I would think your doctor would be pushing harder for a hysterectomy. That was a concern of mine not due to actual results, but the fact that my mother died of cancer as did my grandmother and I knew that hyperplasia if left untreated or missed could turn into cancer easily. That would be a question I would ask. Hope this helps, but truly you are the one that needs to make the decision. It was mentioned multiple times before I actually did the surgery, but wasn't ready until I had exhausted all other options. I don't regret it now at all, but don't think I would have been ready years ago.
Unread 09-22-2012, 01:16 PM
Re: When is enough?

Only you can decide when enough is enough. I stalled many years trying to avoid hysterectomy. At 47 my doctor and I decided enough was enough. My quality of life was almost non existent and I wanted my life back. I am 5 months post op, and although my recovery was not a walk in the park, it was all worth it. No more bleeding and constant cramping and pain.Good luck to you!!
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Unread 09-25-2012, 07:38 AM
Re: When is enough?

Yes, a very question. When is enough, is enough enough enough????

I am 36, removed 26 fibroid by myo back in 2003, had UAE just 6 months ago, still carrying 28 weeks size of tummy.

What else can I do??
What else DO I WANT TO DO???

I am sick and tired of having this 7 months pregnancy tummy around everyday, everyday every minutes is a constant reminder of my situation. I am happy enough with my life, but THIS??????

I just joined back to this forum because few days back I started thinking about hyst. I was told my UAE failed in size reduction. I knew the size this big won't get reduced by UAE but I was hoping for miracles... like we all do.... but it didn't happen, what's next? What makes us happy?

To live FREE from this, right?!

In this forums EVERY SINGLE WOMAN who had hyst says it worth it.
Are there ANYONE UNHAPPY to have chosen hyst????
Unread 09-25-2012, 09:16 PM
Re: When is enough?

Originally Posted by Haily View Post
In this forums EVERY SINGLE WOMAN who had hyst says it worth it.
Not so! Some "regret it with every fiber" of their being as one woman posted a few years ago.

Are there ANYONE UNHAPPY to have chosen hyst????





And those are just a few of the very recent threads. There are more threads in the forums all the way back to when the site started. There are especially regret type threads in some of the specialty forums where ladies are dealing with long term complications especially in The Road Less Traveled, Pelvic Floor and Bladder Issues, and The Sexual Dysfunction forums.

Unread 09-25-2012, 11:33 PM
Re: When is enough?

Hey Weiser

Thanks for letting me about the regret posts. I read them all, and I will try to find what others as I haven't made my own decisions about hyst for 100% yet, tho, going to that direction day by day.

I feel sorry that these girls are feeling worse about their decisions but I think and as far as I have read I think those regrets are mostly 1) having temporary (long or short) hormone imbalance just after the surgery and suffering from side effects, 2) Want more babies, 3) their doctors didn't give them much choices.

I want to know whether they had tried myo and UAE like I did. I had both, and both failed. Now ended up with 28 weeks size of tummy again and I am 36 and single no kids. If they had to have hyst which is really a final option without being given other choices or at least alternative advices etc, I think the regrets and anger is large.....

Also, for babies. I don't have any desire of having babies carrying my own DNA and I had always been up for the adoption if I wanted to be a mum so this may not be my issue... Though I DO understand how they feel about it of course, but many girls who wrote their regrets already have kids and they are wanting more. That's different from me being single with no kids. I wonder why the adoption is not their consideration? - well, I guess it's difficult because their husbands might not be up for it, their community they live could be conservative (not in my case) etc.

My mum and my friend both had hyst. Both have kids. For my friend she had a cancer and she had no choice. She is not having any discomfort and she just had a 2nd marriage at the age of 46.

My question for whether if there are any women out there who regret having hyts is more like whether if they could go back to make different decision would they? - and what kind of life did that offer to them they think? (Better or worse?)

I guess, some people want to have worse life if they could bare another babies. In that case, yes it is a regret. But that's like living on what-if hopes from my own experience... I and my 11 yrs in limbo "tried" to have IVF when our relationship was already ending... sexless and everything. So I know..., unless there is a definit commitment on making babies with your partners, another "I can wait" could kill your life, like it did to me.....

In other cases maybe they had hyst because they knew only little about their issues and their doctors weren't informative and they didn't have friends to talk to or did not meet the web site like this back then. And now they are learning they could've have had for example UAE such as. That must be a huge regret..... I feel really sorry for women still as of today get told by the doctor that hyst is the only option first thing after they're diagnosed with fibroid. My friend had the same thing and she cried out to me asking for help (she's living in the small town in Thailand)!! - now she is on the pill and her blood problem is resolved.

For post hormone sufferings.... I think it hits worse on those who had complete hyst with ovaries removal. In my case I don't think I need to remove. My neighbour just had removed both... so I am planning to have a chat with her.

Either way, I think the decision is very difficult and I think it is important to do everything you can first (within the range you can afford!) so that you know you made that decision by your selves, you know the life is not about what happens to you but how you take it, and only path way forward is to move on.

I know, it's easy to say....

I am just hoping those with regrets will find their own peace. and solution!

PS: I wonder what "The road less travelled" is, is that just a genetic term calling for the minority report for the other side of hyst experiences? I hear about the bladder / intestines coming down because after the uterus get removed there is nothing to support the intestines etc. I wonder, if there is ANYTHING you can do to avoid that to happen?? Or.... from doctors speaking point the current medical technology can't guarantee it won't happen?? Just a surgeon's skill problem or not etc?

PSS: From my own very experience... I think people don't regret for the mistakes but regret for what they didn't do.... I think that's where the regrets come from. I have the similar regrets, for why I didn't make the action sooner. But maybe that regret didn't arrive if I didn't exhausted out all my options and efforts. So now I am thinking, well I could have been 40 and regretted for why I didn't do it earlier, it's better that I came out of it at 35! - this is nothing to do with fibroid or hyst, different life choice.

Unread 09-26-2012, 10:13 AM
Re: When is enough?


Back to zero of when is enough labyrinth!

I wrote what I wrote and I still mean it, but just few hours back a the gym I met this women I knew from my old neighbour for long. She looked pregnant so I asked her she told she just went through 2nd miscarriage....

She's 44..... and says she will still try and that's why she's at the gym try to be healthy. I am 36, though with my condition (with myo in 2003, failed UAE in reducing the size 6 months back with 28 weeks of the size) for her I am still very young to "give it up".

I spoke to my mum today over the phone about my idea of hyts. She had one after me and my sister at the age of 32, she understands and respect my ideas and do not tell me what she thinks I should do, that's great... really appreciate, but she also asked me if I am not considering another myo. And when I was trying to telling her I had enough with this, I kinda realised I was pushing my self to make decision on hyst.....just because I really just wanna get over this.

But........... I wonder, do you guys get annoyed by people telling you have you tried this? tried that?" "homeo?" "acu?" "Chinese medicine?" "Kinesiology?” "Magicians?" thing?

I did and I wanted to scream out!

Do people let you go with your final decision or do you get people keep annoying you (though comes from good intention) , making you feel like "Oh........... maybe I am trying to make a wrong decision?"


Sorry, I feel like I totally hijacked this thread....
But I am at the stage, where..., being most confused right now I guess....
Unread 09-28-2012, 02:30 PM
When is enough?

Thank you for taking the time to reply. You both said the magic words I needed to hear. Quality of life and cancer. As long as I keep hearing pre-cancer, I will not worry (heard it too many times - did DNA test - results say I am really low risk). If I hear it's a for sure, no doubt I will jump in line! Even though I have always treated the furry creatures I love with respect to their quality of life, I just did not apply it to myself. I've had a lifetime of goofed up hormones (didn't know that was the problem until this happened). With all the different meds and chemo, I have learned how closely my emotions are tried to the drugs/hormones. My biggest concern with a hyst is the ovary failure and lowered hormones from it. I have read that many ladies have a challenge trying to get it straightened out afterwards. Like many of the ladies on this site I have endured a lot of pain from the hormone mess. I think have learned a lot on how to cope with the pain but I severely lack in any coping skills when the moods swings/sadness/etc gets going. Thank you again for all your blessed help.
Unread 09-28-2012, 05:37 PM
Re: When is enough?

I can say without hesitation that my regrets are not because I want a kid-I don't. I don't regret that part of it. It really isn't the hormones either. What my regrets if there are some are related to the fact that my whole body changed after this. I now have severe life threatening allergies that are caused by the hyst. I have chronic pain and fibromyalgia. I would try to make sure you know all the pros and cons so you are prepared for this. It can be life changing in ways you don't expect.

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