Just can't win

Here I go again after accidentally deleting my post! I am off to pre-op in an hour. Why is everything bothering me so much??? I am worried about surgery and recovery, my kids are fighting, I am trying to finish up Christmas... I just cry at everything. I have no motivation to get anything done. Oh well, thanks for letting me vent a little. I love this site and all the listeners (readers lol)!

Ginger

Ginger,

Fortunately in a little while you will just relax and forget about everything...with the aid of some serious narcotics. Pre-op is a very emotional time. It's ok to be a little frightened and worried about how things will get done. I think that is very normal.

I'll be thinking of you this morning and sending you positive energy. Good luck and God speed. I'll be looking for you on the Post-Op board in a couple of days.

One thing I stopped doing a few days before my surgery was running myself ragged. The house looked terrible that morning, but I knew that I needed to save my physical and emotional resources for the next few days for myself. What needs to get done will, the kids will eat, the gifts will get given. The MOST important thing is that you are alive and well at the end of the day.

No, that didn't stop the panic, but it helped control it

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, while others may help care for you, only you know exactly what your needs are, ASK!!!

I'll be thinking about you....

Marla

Ginger,

I'm sorry! I misread your post and thought you were headed to the castle. I guess you have a few more days before you get those calming narcotics.

In the meantime, don't be too hard on yourself. The holidays are stressful enough but add the stress of your pending surgery and whammo!!! Tears are a normal result.

Before my surgery, I was also freaked about the condition of my household and had no energy to do anything about it. Now I'm looking at the upcoming Christmas holiday and I still don't have the energy to make it perfect. The difference is, post surgery I don't really care. I've learned to let others take responsibility and to let go of having things done the "right" way.

As Marla said, the most important thing is that you head into your surgery as rested and as positive as possible. Take care of yourself.

Ginger,
If you have no motivation to do things then just dont do them. Seriously, don't push yourself into a tither. Messy houses and fighting kids have a way of just doing fine till we feel like dealing with them. The fights will resolve themselves and the house probably doesn't look as bad as you think it does. Taking care of yourself should be most important now. You deserve to put your feet up and relax for a bit. Best of luck to you!

Thanks ladies for the encouraging words. After my pre-assessment all I wanted to do was come home and have a good cry. But, I had things to do so it stays bottled up inside.
Worst thing is I feel guilty because I am so self absorbed. My best friend said it's okay but I still feel bad......

Thanks again for all the listening!!!

Ginger

I know the feelings your are having. My surgery is 12/27 also with possibility of maligancy & i cannot focus on anything else. i have not done badly "for me" as I am a worrier by nature, but when I am not feeling bad I have a good attitude & think I just want to get this over with, then I have pressure, pain, nausea etc & i begin to think what if-feel like dr Jekyl/Mr hide so I understand your feelings completely, more than you will ever know. I do not have any children at home anymore so I do not have that to deal with but the mind is a crazy thing & right now I am dealing with upper back ache, sitting here on heating pad as I write. take care, I will be thingking of you.

smfor,
I love the reference to Dr Jekyl/Mr. Hide. That is exactly how I feel. The dr. told me in my pre-op today that I can't drive or climb stairs for a while but I could still yell at my kids if I feel the need! LOL. Good luck with your surgery I will say a prayer for you! I go in a 5:30 a.m. !!