Worried sick, can't eat or sleep

Good day to all of you!
I'm going to have a hysterectomy on the 25th of January (I got the call this morning) and I'm almost dying here can't sleep or eat or focus. I have these cancer cells in the cervix so hysterectomy is the only option for me.
I don't know what I expect from you my sisters I guess I'm just looking for some support.
Many years ago I was raped (two times in the same year, very much violent included too) and always when I have to put myself under someone elses power like doctors f.ex. all these bad feelings pop up and make me depressed. It seems that I can't handle to loose control over my body and now I'm forced to do so or else I will die or get a cancer which will lead to death in the end.
Is there someone here who has the same experince?

I can not imagine what you have gone through. Only you know that. However, I (along with all the hyster sisters) am here for you when you need someone to talk to. You are a strong person because you are still here. I hope the best for you and for your health.

Bryndis, I can't say that I have had the same experiences that you have. I am so sorry you went through that! I do understand the fear, anxiety and depression that go with putting your health and well-being (both physical AND emotional) into someone else's hands, though...I had the same problem there. Everyone has their own way of dealing with these things.

For me, explaining my concerns to my doctor, then getting as MUCH info as I could on surgical options, anesthesia, recovery and so on helped me feel much less "out of control." This website went a LONG way toward helping me be better-informed, stronger and more able to face the surgery. It's been two weeks since my surgery now, and I have to say the waiting was the WORST part. I know many other sisters feel the same way.

Arm yourself with information, and the whole thing becomes less like something being "done" to you, and more like something YOU are doing for yourself, for your future good health and well-being. Let your sisters help you, as much as you need. We're here for you, any time!

Sending you best wishes and lots of sss!

Amoreena

I am so sorry you have had such a horrible experience in your life. I have never been raped, so I cannot imagine the emotional trauma you have been through...

I can, however, talk to you about what you are facing in the next few weeks...I, too, was told in December that I had cervical cancer and my only option was a hyst. I, too, stopped eating, sleeping and still went to work everyday with black bags under my eyes....I checked your profile - you have a teenager - so do I...(single mom) The "what ifs" kept popping into my brain and I couldn't make it stop....I was making myself physically ill.

I am a control freak and was mad at my body for doing this to me. No one likes to put their lives in the hands of someone else......the feeling and fear of losing control is, I am sure, much stronger for you, but everyone feels a sense of control loss when something like this happens - it is not a good feeling, is it??

I found this site and the sisters helped me tremendously....I also called the doc for some sleeping medicine, which REALLY helped....

I realize now that I should not have put myself through that.....It is true that the waiting is the hardest part. Just keep telling yourself that everything is going to be fine...keep busy.....get your house ready for some leisure time.....

About 5 days before surgery, I wrote letters to everyone necessary and put them away and told a friend where they were, just in case....(I am a "Type A" personality and want everything in order at all times....not to mention the matters that would need to be taken care of as far as my DD was concerned) I decided that from the moment the letters were written until my surgery, I was going to think nothing but positive thoughts and on the day of my surgery, I was relaxed as I could be......

I am two weeks post-op now and I am officially cancer free!! Sore and bored, but cancer free!!!!!!!!!

If anybody can do this, you can, girl.... You will be fine. Just pick your chin up and be tough.....You have been through a great deal in your life....this will be a piece of cake.....Just keep thinking about the many great years to come with your family and friends....

By the way, I am medically treated for anxiety attacks and depression.. Have you looked into this? You may want to talk to your doctor - I know that it has been a lifesaver for me...

I will say a prayer for you......

Hello, Bryndis, and

We're so happy you joined the Hyster Sisters community! It sounds like you have been through a lot. Please know that the members here have unlimited hugs to distribute, and we will be happy to walk with you on your journey to good health.

I think it would be wise to contact your doctor and tell him/her that you can't eat, sleep or focus. There is no need for you to suffer so much anxiety prior to your surgery, and your doctor can prescribe a medication to calm you down. I did so, and I am happy I did, because I would have been a nervous wreck in the weeks prior to my hyst.

Manys and Best Wishes to You!

HI,

Unfortunately I can relate to your experiences and feelings. Here are things that are helping me:

-With everything you have been through, this is nothing. You have proven to yourself that you can handle anything. You have come through awful experiences that some others may not have survived. I am not saying you were super woman without anxiety or fears, but you are here, and you made it through these past experiences without letting them beat you.

-You are not giving up any power by having this surgery. You are showing your power in FULL FORCE! The decision was made by YOU. You heard your options and chose your course. (Even if all the options sucked, you still made a CHOICE.) YOU are showing your power by handling this thing head on, and not skipping the surgery and just being in denial. You are grabbing your decision with both hands.

-You might be unaware of what your doctor is doing- you might be out of it-but this is not handing your power over to him. This is ALLOWING he/she to help you see your choice through. You trust this person with your LIFE- trust YOURSELF enough to know that YOU have chosen a person who will not abuse your power.

Hope this helps and will be praying for you!

Bryndis, I've been there. when I was small I was molested, gang raped etc. it went on for years, until I was 5 or 6, and I was raped when I was 18. I guess I don't need control of my body anymore, but I understand. I'm scheduled for March 2nd, and I'm scared to death. I wish I could give you answers, or make you feel better, but alll I can do is tell you I understand. Have you talked to your doctor about how you're feeling? He should be able to give you something to calm you down.

Bryndis,
Greeting's I Know This Is Not The Same .
But Being Beaten Daily ,Yes I Was a fool to stay so long . I Was Abused By A Boyfriend For Over 2 Yrs straight , ( 27 yrs ago) I Finally Said Enough And Turned My Back on That Life .And Moved on to a better life . Be Strong as you have been .


I Agree Call Your Doctor , Get some meds to help relieve the stress.

I Take Meds Daily For Anxity/ Depression/Blood Pressure.
Hang Tight
Your Surgery Will Be Over Soon , And You Will Be Cancer Free .
We Are Here For You , Take Care Of Your Self .

Set Up Your Recovery Space ,Buy A Bright Colored New Robe , And Cute Bootie Slippers , I Bought Ones With a Dog , monkey,Cat face on them to look at while i Healed

Those Thing Will Help You Get Your Mind On Healing And a Great Recovery.
I Was a Basket Case The Month Before My Surgery Jan 3 / 05

The _ "The Hyster Sisters Guide Book" -
Buy It From The Hyster Store Here
And
_" The Worried Womens Guide to a happy Hysterectomy"-
By Sheila Martin
Its a E Book $22.00 You Can Have It In a few Hrs To Print Off .



Both Books were a God Sent , I read Them Over And Over Again For The Month Pre Op, Then Read them a few times Post op too
Good Luck , Just Keep E Mailing Us We Are Here To Help Each other.
Blessing
Cathie

Bryndisd, I just want want you to remember that you are one of Gods precious children. And he loves you so very much.
I am so sorry for what you have been through, I know anything I say couldn't possibly take your concerns away,but I want you to know that I am prying for you. My hysterectomy is on the 25th of Jan., I also will be thinking of you on that day.
Trust in the Lord, put your faith in him. I also have been so scared, then I remembered that God said if we would have the faith of a grain of mustard seed, that we would be able to move a mountain. I started thinking about that,I went and bought a mustard seed on a little card, and I carry it with me all the time.
I would just sit and look at it, and think about how small it was,
and I knew that God was not asking much of me,just to trust him.
I told him,as I praying one night that I would keep that seed to remind me that all I needed was FAITH. And that when the time was right, and I found someone else who needed it just as bad as I did, that I would pass it on. I might not be capable of giving it to you personally, but I want you to have it. So I am giving it to you this way, with all my love, and prayers, but most of all remember with HIM all things are possible.