Is Feeling Down Normal? What to do when you regret surgery?

Desperately needing a little support today, sisters.

I'm hoping someone can shed insight, hope and suggestions.

I'm 10 wks post op and am still experiencing some major issues. Thankfully I think I know what I'm dealing with (slow bowel motility issues which make eating, moving, driving, etc. almost impossible due to severe cramping, bloating and pressure).

I know things could be SO much worse. I logically realize that once I get to a GI in early January that I will have some more answers to my new GI problems (uterus was stuck to bowels which took 45 minutes to separate). I logically realize that I am 10 wks out from major surgery. I've read over and over on here that a year is a great indicator of the final outcome (or at least a better indicator). I logically realize both of these things yet I keep going from hopeful to distraught in very short amounts of time.

My ovaries were left but I know things are not normal because my breasts are a full size bigger and painful. My moods are all over the place but I'm not sure if it's due to hormones or everthing else....

Anyhow, I don't know what to do w/ all of these feelings. I've tried antidepressents in the past twice for major life difficulties but never found one that worked (and Zoloft made me WORSE). I can't exercise. I am not yet able to have sex. Food just hurts. I am not a huge drinker and have only had wine a few times. It feels like the joy is gone. I've been reading books, watching movies and worrying for 10 wks. I'm lonely and afraid this is my new normal.

Sisters, please help. Do I just need time? I regret this whole thing SO much, yet of course I can't undo my procedure. Am I the only one? Did anyone else feel like this and then end up thrilled? Or at least back to the way they were?

I was a pretty decent runner before my proplapse. I had dreams of running (or at least exercising) again. Of more energy. Of sex without protruding organs and swelling....Now they are dashed.

I can't complain to DH anymore. He's done everything for our family for 10 weeks and I feel horribly guilty as we were told 2-4 wks.....Can I please have some prespective, kind words??!!! I would so appreciate it.....I have to go so this is pretty stream of conscious so apologies for the length!

Bode, 10 wks da Vinci hysterectomy and bladder lift w/ mesh for prolapse

Oh sister *hugs* it's going to be okay. This road we are on is not an easy one, we all knew it going in...but you don't really understand what will happen until after the actual surgery.

Okay, first can you get to a GI sooner? it sounds like your bowels are what is dragging you down the most, feeling that sick for that long can make any person go out of their minds. I know that was the worst part of my recovery thus far.

Secondly, the ovaries don't seem to control the boobs. LOL I had both of mine removed and my doctor said they "might" shrink...which I was thrilled about, my body however must have heard my brain and thought it would screw with me because they are now like 2 cup sizes bigger. I feel like "Uterus free Barbie"...seriously....

As for antidepressants....they suck. I have been on more then you can shake a stick at and zoloft made me suicidal, luckily I recognized it was the meds and not me and quit taking it. HOWEVER, I did find one pill that has Really helped. It's called Elavil, AKA Amitriptyline. I take a Very small dose (50mg) before I go to bed and not only does it help me get to sleep...but if I wake up, it helps me get BACK to sleep..which for me was rare..usually once I was up..I was up period. It is also a mild antidepressant, anti-anxiety medication. My OBGYN gave it to me after I had my first baby because I was so exhausted and in a horrific amount of pain, and stressed beyond belief...I cried constantly, and could barely function. The first night I took it, I got my first full night of sleep in years. It is a miracle drug LOL.

It will get better, just hang in there...and make sure you sit your hubby down, hug him, kiss him, and thank him for being so supportive...let him know how you feel, even if it is guilty....Husbands can surprise us with how they step up, and they can be a good sounding board for concerns.

Good luck.

My surgery was just a few days after yours and I also continue to have problems. I still can do very little due to pelvic pain and also slow bowels. I saw my surgeon on Thursday and my stitches in my vaginal cuff are not dissolving so I have to wait 6 weeks to see if they dissolve if not I need to go into surgery agai to have them taken out. I will not be going back to work until feb 1.

I have many down says and also regrets but like you my uterus was adhered so I keep thinking it would have just got worse if I left it. I keep thinking just a few more months and it will all turn around. My spouse is also getting tired of it all, but yes just try to remind them how wonderful they are.

I have started accunpuncture and that seems to be helping as well they have me doing 10 minute mediation that I just downloaded as an app but they have some on YouTube and it all seems to be helping. It might be worth a try for you. Are you able to see a counsellor? I was allowed to see a counsellor through the clinic my doctor works and she helped a lot and told me that many women feel down after the surgery and it can take 12 weeks to start to turn a corner.

Hang in there and make sure you talk about your feelings on here or with your friends.Take care

About the slow bowels ... I suffered constipation pre op and it's been a bit worse post op. What has helped the most with me has been Movicol. I found the best way to take it was one sachet at a time, building up the number of sachets until I finally got movement. I got to the stage of having j8 sachets per day, one an hour. That got things moving and I've been able to cut down to a couple every couple of days.

Your ovaries do affect your boobs. When I had mine and would ovulate, my poor boobs would get so swollen and sore and tender sometimes that even the pressure of a bra was too much to bear. They didn't get that bad every month, but often enough that it would really get me down.

I'm sorry you're having so many problems. It must be vey frustrating and disheartening. Hang in there. You will get through this and come out better for it in the long run, no matter how hard it is right now *big hugz*

My dr explained that surges in estrogen during the first part of your cycle cause breast fullness and tenderness. After this surgery it seems that the ovaries sometimes go berserk. My breasts are definitely larger and more tender I have to wear a bra all the time sometimes. My dr said once my estrogen stabilizes my breasts won't hurt so much.

Thanks everyone for the support! I really appreciate it :-) Although I've adjusted to the timeframe of healing somewhat, my surgeon said two to four weeks over and over. Then she said 12 weeks for all of the kinks to be worked out. I will be 11 weeks on Friday and if this is the kinks worked out – forget it!

I was able to get in with a G.I. next Monday. He comes highly recommended by someone I know whose husband had similar issues after a laparoscopic procedure. Reglan was contributing to my miserable mood. I tried it a few days in a row at varying doses. It made me immediately weepy and tired. My legs also felt restless and twitchy. Although it helped a little bit, the side effects are not worth it. Hope the new doctor will have input!

I went to our community acupuncture clinic on Saturday. That is always a relaxing experience for me, and I will go back this week because it is so affordable. I've never done well with antidepressants or other mood altering drugs so I have upped my intake of Omega foods-oils and will look up that meditation. I tried Elavil yrs ago for sleep but it actually kept me up! I am an odd one with medications and often get side effects and need a much lower dose than suggested. Not sure why but I have always been like this.

Anyhow, I feel like I am on the right track. Thanks again for the support. I still talk to hubby all of the time about this but I can hear the relief in his voice now that my mood is improved. He's one of those "if mama ain't happy, nobody is happy" men.

Thank you all again so much. My head is still spinning with everything but hopefully as my hormones settle down and my stomach issue is solved, I will slowly assimilate back into life! I'm not sure my uterus was even salvageable due to it being adhered to my bowels. I've wondered if I should have asked her to suspend it for the prolapse, But I'm not sure if that would have been possible....

I'll continue to update and would love to hear from everyone else as well. I have considered going to talk to a counselor as I have done in the past but my insurance does not cover it. I may wait a little longer and if I continue to have so many ups and downs, I will find a way to pay for it.