LAVH: Upcoming hysterectomy 3/26: Humiliated, terrified, thinking of cancelling

I am hoping for advice, or at least that I am not the only one who feels this way. I'm scheduled for LAVH 3/26 and thinking about backing out. I cannot get past the humiliation of being on display to everyone. My Dr has requested all female staff, but it does not seem to matter to me. The thought of being spread open naked so they can disinfect tummy and privates, left to dry while everyone stands around staring, then having multiple people touching and invading there makes me sick. The catheter actually makes me throw up. Even though the Dr says don't worry, they are professional and it's routine does not help. It's not routine to me, and of course they don't care. They all have clothes on and are not the one being humiliated. Even if I can make myself get through that, there is the afterwards. Do they look at and touch you in recovery? I know I am supposed to get up and walk around, but I will not do that with the catheter in. How humiliating and degrading. I will not be able to let the nurse look at or touch there during my hospital stay. This is supposed to be a private area and I feel like it will be public to the world and I can't get over it. My husband says I am crazy, but I feel like why would he ever want to look at or touch me after all these other people have. I am seriously thinking about cancelling and taking my chances rather than be displayed and humiliated like that. Being tipped upside down for surgery makes the exposure even worse. Having all this happen while I am unconscious and under their control is more than I can imagine doing. Has anyone else felt this way?

It depends why are you having the hysterectomy. I had it due to cervical cancer and I would rather get seen naked by all the hospital stuff and having them stuck their hands or fingers in me, than having to go through a cancer diagnosis ever again. It's all about point of view.

I am having it because I have pre-cancer in my cervix.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Reallyshy I am hoping for advice, or at least that I am not the only one who feels this way. I'm scheduled for LAVH 3/26 and thinking about backing out. I cannot get past the humiliation of being on display to everyone. My Dr has requested all female staff, but it does not seem to matter to me. The thought of being spread open naked so they can disinfect tummy and privates, left to dry while everyone stands around staring, then having multiple people touching and invading there makes me sick. The catheter actually makes me throw up. Even though the Dr says don't worry, they are professional and it's routine does not help. It's not routine to me, and of course they don't care. They all have clothes on and are not the one being humiliated. Even if I can make myself get through that, there is the afterwards. Do they look at and touch you in recovery? I know I am supposed to get up and walk around, but I will not do that with the catheter in. How humiliating and degrading. I will not be able to let the nurse look at or touch there during my hospital stay. This is supposed to be a private area and I feel like it will be public to the world and I can't get over it. My husband says I am crazy, but I feel like why would he ever want to look at or touch me after all these other people have. I am seriously thinking about cancelling and taking my chances rather than be displayed and humiliated like that. Being tipped upside down for surgery makes the exposure even worse. Having all this happen while I am unconscious and under their control is more than I can imagine doing. Has anyone else felt this way?

I understand your worries; you are not crazy. I was freaking out before my LVH, on 2/26, but I honestly knew I could not remain how I was. I was apprehensive and so ridiculously nervous so my doctor called me back in to discuss my fears. I believe her sincere concern to put me at ease by answering all my questions and the fact that I continued to do my research helped me.
Once I got there for my surgery, it really wasn't as bad as I thought. The nurses and doctor had me so at ease!! They even gave me something to relax me before surgery. The doctor I had, bedside manners was so good, I couldn't stop hugging her after my procedure.
Yes, you will be exposed but I was glad to know they had so many qualified staff there to help me if things went wrong ... but my surgery actually went well!
I am now 13 days postop and things are so much better! I take it day-by-day but I can walk a little further without pain. I am happy I had the surgery because the pain prior to my surgey was becoming too much.

Remember your health is the most important. The cancer could spread and begin to attack other organs. Don't risk that. Speak to your doctor about your fears and find a way to ease your anxiety.

Hugs,
Nay

I was happy to go with the DaVinci with "vaginal delivery." They only prepared my tummy, at least while I was awake. I was never shaved which I hated during my c-section. All stitches for my cuff were done internally. I didn't feel so exposed or violated. So you might look into it as an option, though you may have to switch doctors to find one that does it.

Thank you for your advice. My Dr has me on anxiety meds already but they do not seem to be helping. I just am really doubting that I can make myself get through this. Not even sure I can get to the hosp. on the date. My husband says I can leave anytime up to actually going to the OR, but I know he really wants me to get it done. I am so afraid, I just don't know what to do.

I think your big issue should be having your pre-cancer treated above everything else. No one likes being exposed but most of us see it as part of our medical evaluation and treatment. I had my hysterectomy about 2 weeks ago, and all the nurses and doctors I had were very helpful about keeping me covered up-- right up to getting on the table in the OR. I slept through the procedure (thankfully!) and When I woke up in the recovery room I was even covered up to my neck. Later my overnight nurse even helped me put on a new gown without ever being uncovered. The catheter is a necessary step but you'll barely know it's there. I only took a few steps in my room with it. It was taken out in the early morning and then I could walk the halls. Please don't let your humiliation stand in the way of medical treatment. You'll be home before you know it, and the unpleasant parts will be worth having your health back. It doesn't sound like your husband has any concerns about this, so try to accept that and focus on getting to "the other side". Lots of us have been through what worries you and are waiting for you!!

Please try not to worry about the doctors seeing you or touching you every were. First of all I am assuming that you need this operation.if that is so the only person who will feel better when they opperate is YOU. In most cases when you need surgery thing get worse as time goes on if you don't have the surgery. Don't know your situation....but please don't cancel.remember surgery is preformed every day it is done FOR OUR OWN GOOD. I also did not want my hysteroctomy but it's been just over 3 years and I feel amazing. And I don't remember anyone touching me all over. The doctors are there to help YOU. If you believe in prayer.... Trust me it helps. Hope you can get past this..

You seem to be more worried about an invasion of privacy and the resulting embarrassment rather than the effects of the surgery, if I understood correctly. Are you more concerned with that than your health? If so, I would suggest that you get counseling to try to help you combat your fears. It really is strictly professional for your health providers, and if you trust your dr, you know that she will not let anyone say/do anything inappropriate. Even if you cancelled this surgery,, you don't know that sometime in the future you might need a different one, and with any surgery, you will be in a similar circumstance, so just as well to try to work on your fears now. I hope you can combat your fears and have a successful surgery and speedy recovery!

I totally understand your issues. I do think you need to stop reading about all the details. I found I did better when I stopped reading about the details of the procedures. As far as privacy, I was allowed to dress into the hospital gown in private, and when I went to surgery I was put to sleep as soon as I was in the OR, so everything else was a blank. I awoke in recovery in my closed gown with covers over me. I believe the medical staff does their best to protect your modesty.

I really was uncomfortable with medical stuff, but you need the surgery and you need to be healthy. Focus on the priorities and try not to dwell on the details. I know that helped me.