i bottled out

dear sisters . i was due for a hyst on the 20th of september. i went into hospital the day before ,stayed the night . i was due for op at 3.00pm in the afternoon . iwas so anxios the surgeon even came to see me .I ran into the toilet and locked myself in half a hour before i was due to go down. the nurses gave me 2 diazapan to relax me ,saying i would probably go to sleep. no those little pills didnt do nothing. my dh came to the castle as i was being wheeled down.I was put into the room that administers the anesthetic.just as i was about to be put out i said to all around me sorry i feel to vunerable i cant go through with it (i was suffering panic attacks at time also i would of had no one at home with me . also as i was living in complete and utter isolation no friends to visit) well the dr said he couldnt perform the operation on someonethat was so anxious about having it done so i went home.well 4 weeks on my symptoms have got alot worse. im moving nearer family and friends next week , so hopefully i can get stronger and face the op..i have 5cm fibroid and really bad endo plus other aches and pains down below. im 42i thought i would tell you ladies . my e-mail is down at the moment so if any messages r sent i cannot reply untill fixed . im gutted i couldnt go through with it,and feel such a ***....hole

(((hugs))) Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. What harm was really done? Sure, it's embarassing, but who cares what they think or say? I think the surgeon was right in not doing it. I hope that when you have some friends and family nearby that will ease your mind. Curious as to why they admitted you the night before and then had you wait all day. That in itself would make me a basket case (let alone starving). Good luck to you and don't be so hard on yourself.
Tricia

You are loved... you need to believe that. (((HUGS)))

Don't worry about not going through with it the first time.

The time just wasn't right then.

I have anxiety too, and I understand having to take a time out.

Many HUGS to you, sweetheart...

I think you are going to do fine.

You poor thing. I don't know that I could "do it alone" either. I've considering chickening out and I have a really great support system at home. It's a very difficult surgery, that is why there are 100,000+ sisters here.

Don't feel bad about it, move on from it. You're doing the right thing by moving closer to family and getting your support system in order first. I have panic attacks too, and I am doing my best to prepare. The Dr already has me on Xanax 2x a day, and they are prepared for my anxiety condition. I am confident now, that I can get through it. I came to HysterSisters because I had just announced to all my friends and family that I was cancelling my surgery! That was only a few days ago.

Take care of yourself, speak to your Dr about the anxiety and panic attacks, and get your support system in place. This is the best place to get support when you are alone, but that isn't enough for everyone. Please, really, don't feel bad. You weren't ready, it's as simple as that.

We're here for you.

HI, just to let you know, I got a bad case of the nerves one night and quit my job! talk about feeling like a fool, but all things happen for a reason. Anxiety attacks are just that, something telling you something isn't right and you need time ... sort it out and when you're feeling better about how all the systems are falling into place you will do so well and the operation and recovery will go with ease and be so much better. Don't regret your decision or try to second guess yourself.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by dollydaydream dear sisters . i was due for a hyst on the 20th of september. i went into hospital the day before ,stayed the night . i was due for op at 3.00pm in the afternoon . iwas so anxios the surgeon even came to see me .I ran into the toilet and locked myself in half a hour before i was due to go down. the nurses gave me 2 diazapan to relax me ,saying i would probably go to sleep. no those little pills didnt do nothing. my dh came to the castle as i was being wheeled down.I was put into the room that administers the anesthetic.just as i was about to be put out i said to all around me sorry i feel to vunerable i cant go through with it (i was suffering panic attacks at time also i would of had no one at home with me . also as i was living in complete and utter isolation no friends to visit) well the dr said he couldnt perform the operation on someonethat was so anxious about having it done so i went home.well 4 weeks on my symptoms have got alot worse. im moving nearer family and friends next week , so hopefully i can get stronger and face the op..i have 5cm fibroid and really bad endo plus other aches and pains down below. im 42i thought i would tell you ladies . my e-mail is down at the moment so if any messages r sent i cannot reply untill fixed . im gutted i couldnt go through with it,and feel such a a......hole

Oh sweetie...I'm so sorry. I DO completely understand. If I'd had the guts, I would have run into the bathroom myself. I suffer from depression and a fairly severe case of anxiety disorder, and I couldn't take any meds the morning of my surgery. Plus, I was fixating on the fact that the insides of my mouth were sticking together with thirst and I was certain I was going to choke to death, even before something horrible happened under anesthesia. Plus, I have such a phobia about a needle in any of my veins that I get positively whoozy when I have blood drawn or an IV inserted. I was quite the mess.

I'm a loner too, by the way. This is one time that we simply must ask others for help. I know I wouldn't hesitate to do whatever I could to help someone in our shoes, but I have the most terrible time asking for it myself. Are you like that too?

As it turned out, I came through the surgery wonderfully, not even a bit of nausea. The hospital staff were amazed at my immediate alertness and good color right away.

You will no doubt surprise yourself, just like me, when you decide you're ready to try again. And until you are, we're all here for you, dear lady.


Deb
LAVH/BSO 10/13/06

I am just wondering...are any of your ladies who are suffering from depression and anxiety disorders seeing a therapist? I've read that you're taking the medications (Valium & Xanax) that help to alleviate the symptoms but I haven't read that anyone is seeing a therapist to help alleviate the disorder.

There is a wealth of documented empirical evidence that states that treatment with the most favorable outcomes for these (and many) disorders is the combination of medication AND therapy. So, please consider seeing a therapist.

Marilyn,

To answer your question as one of the ladies here on Xanax, no, I am not currently seeing a therapist. Fortunately I'm not depressed at all, or I would be. My dd suffers horribly from depression and she goes frequently. That does also give me the opportunity to learn how to help her and myself too.

My anxiety comes in the form of panic attacks. They are awful, but I have never had a Dr recommend therapy for them. They are bad enough, but not so bad that they really affect my life. I've also come to recognize many of the triggers and I've learned to keep them to a minimum. I don't normally take any meds for them either. Just now, with the surgery coming up the Dr felt it was best since I was pretty stressed out.

I've been down the therapy route, and it didn't work for me. In fact I found that I dwelled more on the negative stuff and less on the positive. On the other hand, it works wonders for my dd. I think I would try it again though, if I were feeling depressed, helpless or worried I was losing control of my emotions.

AHart ~ I'm so sorry to hear that therapy wasn't beneficial for you. Typically when that happens it isn't the right therapist for the client.

You won't find too many MDs who will recommend a therapist. MDs are trained to think along a medical model that supports medication, not therapy.

Best of luck to you.

Well the therapist, was a good many years ago, when I first started having panic attacks in fact. It may be that she wasn't right for me.

Now I think what I really need is stress relief classes, or some sort of instruction on how to better deal with stress. Unfortunately, the area I live in is not the ideal area for any of these things. The nearest place I could go for therapy and other mental health services is over an hour away! And being disabled, I don't do well driving that far. Luckily, they do have local services for children.

Then again, I am really hopeful once I get over this extra discomfort and bloating, I might feel alot like my old self again and I won't need it

Thanks for the advice though.

Hugs