4 days and feeing overwhelmed

I am having my TAH on Friday and I was doing fine until my mother called me and said that I was making a mistake having this procedure, she had it done like 15 years ago and she is telling me how miserable she was and that you have no sexual desire, and don't feel like a woman. Man I did no how to respond to her lecture, I know that I need this surgery, as I have suffered for many years from endo, pelvic pain and heavy/painful periods.
I trust my doctor, but I know my body and I have taking alot of thought into my desision. I am finding myself running around, doing last minute things cleaning the house, grocery run, etc. My husband is very supportive and we have talking about the pros and cons of the TAH, he just wants me to feel better. I have a 7 year old son and he can't wait to help mommy when I come home from the castle. Please someone tell me that I am not crazy for having this procedure, I really have done my homework on the subject and I feel very confident in my decision. How can mothers make you feel so uncomfortable???

LuAnn

My mom is doing the same thing to me and telling me that she can't support me in this decision. It hurts my feelings but I know that I am making the right decision for me and for my family. I have a 4 yr old so I know that having pain and heavy periods can sometimes make me not the be the fun mom I want to be. I am looking forward to feeling better but I am scared of the recovery and all the changes that may happen to my body. If you need to chat you can pm anytime!! Best of luck in everything!! Michelle

Hang in there! It's okay.

You have to do this for you and not for her.

I am 8 weeks post-op and I had a TVH. I am a couple of years older than you and know how you are feeling. My mother questioned my decision to have a hysterectomy and she has NOT had one herself so does not know how much it has made a difference in my life.

I don't know if it will be the same for you. I hope that it will be though!!!!

I have not had any problems with my sex life since my operation. It has been wonderful and no troubles with DH or myself. Everything works well and we both are very happy with the overhaul!

No more periods! No pain! No urinary problems! No problems during sex!

Maybe your mom is scared for you. She is still your mom and you are her little girl.

Things should turn out well for you and it will hopefully change your quality of life! You have done your research and you sound well-informed. You are not crazy for having this procedure!!!! You are actually pretty smart to go ahead with it. Many women will suffer a long time longer before they see a doctor. Consider yourself lucky that you have to option to have a hysterectomy!

(I have a 7 year old as well as an 8 year od and a 6 year old! My girls loved waiting on me after I came home form the castle as well.)

Hang in there!

Hugs!!! ewok

Hi, Luannm!

I'm sorry you have to be upset by your mother. She is being a bit selfish perhaps, or other things are bugging her. She does paint a pretty grim picture!

I had SAH. I have not been overly miserable, I don't feel any different about being a woman, and I haven't lost any desire.

I'm glad you trust your doctor. That's important. It sounds like you need to have the surgery, and you have done your homework. Your husband is supportive, and your son is a sweetheart!

You are not crazy. You sound very normal to me. You will be so relieved and feeling much better as you recover. I am 6 weeks out today, and I feel great. I am happy I had the surgery and wouldn't go back to the way I was before. That was miserable!!!

Don't let others upset you. They don't understand. I hope you will be encouraged by your "sisters" here.

Sending best wishes to you!

Cinderellen

Shame on mom for trying to guilt you out of your relief. Just because she had a negative experience 15 years ago does not mean you should be forever held back from a pain-free life.

My mom offered her support and understanding. She had a TAH at age 33 for the same problems I'm having, so there was no question that she understands. Do you want to borrow her until your recovery is over? :-)

Let us know how things work out - we really care. cj

Hi LuAnn,

I'm sorry you aren't getting support from your mother. As you will find on this site, a hysterectomy turns out well for some and unfortunately, others have problems that do arise. There are no guarantees.

You are obviously confident in your decision and you have the support of your DH and that is good.

My experience has been positive. It was the right decision for me and I still feel like a woman and I do still have sexual desire.

I hope and pray that your surgery goes well for you and that your recovery is smooth and uneventful.

Best wishes!

s

Deb