Hoping it will be okay for me

I am just hoping that one day it will be ok for me. I have issues with acceptance, self image, my womanhood etc. but my biggest issue has been with my sex life post hysterectomy. I've heard stories of women after one year still not being better sexually. I know that my uterus being gone has pretty muched ruined me. I keep trying to move past it, trying to accept it...not doing to well.

I am exercising, planning on getting my hair done, dieting, doing whatever my doctors advise, keeping busy.....but I still feel empty, hollow, sad. My body and muscles hurt, I am tired all the time, I am having a hard time concentrating and remembering. I have mood swings, depression, angry all the time. My test results of hormones, thyroids, cbc, etc. all came back normal. I feel like someone else is walking around in my body and I am screaming to wake up. I keep trying to stay or be positive but it is hard when I am miserable.

What is totally sad is that I told my husband that I am jealous of him because he still gets to feel good and orgasm while we are having sex. This ugly scar isn't going any where either. I know to some it may sound vain but it looks ugly, even my hair is thinning and falling out, my skin is also extra dry. I'm a walking mess.

I just don't understand why I had to lose so much just to fix a small problem. Who would have thought you'd have to lose your life just to stop bleeding. My children are the only thing really keeping me going. I have lost me.....

It was my husband that told me, " What makes you a women, a good mother, wife and friend, it's not your uterus...but your heart." And he told me that when I needed to hear it the most. And now I can say my hysterectomy released me. I was having so many problems before with bleeding issues, I wasn't living. But it did take time to come to this. I always wanted to have more babies.....that is why I fought the surgery for so long. But now I have found peace. And I have never been embarrassed to talk about it either....so many women have had this surgery. And now I can finally say...I feel good.

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Originally Posted by shena09 I am just hoping that one day it will be ok for me. I have issues with acceptance, self image, my womanhood etc. but my biggest issue has been with my sex life post hysterectomy. I've heard stories of women after one year still not being better sexually. I know that my uterus being gone has pretty muched ruined me. I keep trying to move past it, trying to accept it...not doing to well. I am exercising, planning on getting my hair done, dieting, doing whatever my doctors advise, keeping busy.....but I still feel empty, hollow, sad. My body and muscles hurt, I am tired all the time, I am having a hard time concentrating and remembering. I have mood swings, depression, angry all the time. My test results of hormones, thyroids, cbc, etc. all came back normal. I feel like someone else is walking around in my body and I am screaming to wake up. I keep trying to stay or be positive but it is hard when I am miserable. What is totally sad is that I told my husband that I am jealous of him because he still gets to feel good and orgasm while we are having sex. This ugly scar isn't going any where either. I know to some it may sound vain but it looks ugly, even my hair is thinning and falling out, my skin is also extra dry. I'm a walking mess. I just don't understand why I had to lose so much just to fix a small problem. Who would have thought you'd have to lose your life just to stop bleeding. My children are the only thing really keeping me going. I have lost me.....

shena09

All the symptoms you describe are pretty classic perimenopausal. ..despite what your tests say. I love my doctor..he doesn't rely solely on tests to diagnose. He uses all the information available and puts importance on my input. You know the saying, "if it walks like a duck,...."

If you're perimenopausal, hormones fluctuate with no rhyme or reason. It might not be picked up. Please consider discussing with your doctor treating your symptoms anyway..despite what the tests say. There are options. Just a suggestion from one hyster sister to another

Take care yourself............I didn't realize......this website existed ...I am now 45 yrs old as if 4/27.............and had my surgery at 42yrs old....had endo,cysts,tumors.............they out everything except my left ovary.................talk with you soon.........

Shena09, I'm so sorry to hear that you're suffering so much post-hysterectomy. If hormones don't do the trick (as NMRider suggested), I would consider talking to someone about getting antidepressants, because many of the symptoms you talk about can be associated with depression as well (even the fatigue and aches and pains), and I don't think it's unusual for a major surgery like this to trigger a depression.

I don't know if you've considered talking to a counselor or therapist to work through the feelings you're having about losing your uterus and the changes that's made in your life, but I've certainly found it helpful to have a trained professional to help me work through things like this.

I hope that's not an offensive suggestion. I see therapy as such a valuable tool when moving through difficult times, and I think seeking that kind of help is a sign of strength rather than weakness.

All the best to you.

Hi Shena09,
I am so sorry you are feeling this low. Have you considered HRT? Have you discussed it with your DR. I really think you should look into it unless it is not an option for you; because it really sounds like HRT may help you. I was perimenopausal right before my surgery and at one point I felt so depressed (also had major hot flashes); taking the HRT worked like magic. Since my surgery I have not taken HRT yet; my DR said he wanted to wait 6 weeks (maybe coz I am an endo patient)....I can't wait to go back on them
Just some food for thought and I really hope that things will start looking up. My heart goes out to you...

For a funny story along these lines, I was standing in the line at Wal Mart and had been on my feet far too long. I began sweating and had to lean on my cart and hold my belly. There were two older women in line ahead of me. Probably in their 70's. They both looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said out loud, "Yes, I just had a hysterectomy Feb 24th and I think I may have overdone it here". They looked shocked that I would say hysterectomy with a man standing behind me, or so I thought. Then they both insisted I go ahead of them. They gave me a polite, hard time about being up and about shopping so soon after surgery. One said, "I had a hysterectomy too, and I was in bed for 3 months and not out of the house for six months. My perception of their first reaction was wrong. Their perecption of hysterectomys today was inaccurate. But I felt so understood. Is'nt life funny? I made it home and will not go back to Wal Mart unless its late at night with my DH. The lines are a killer!!

Oh Shena, I really am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Are you on HRT or any other meds.?

Thank all of you ladies for being so kind and supportive. No I am not on HRT. I don't know that I would take HRT even if the doctor's opinion was to take it because of all the debate over HRT. I did see a therapist but he made me feel like a quack. He said I was bipolar. I wasn't before the surgery so why would I be bipolar after the surgery. My GP didn't agree with the bipolar thing. Most of the time I am to angry to talk to anyone or crying to much. Once I start talking the flood gates open. Thank you again for letting me vent and having such kind words. I really didn't mean to take the spot light. I have just been dealing with a lot and holding so much in.

I do go to the doctor again tomorrow so I will be discussing my problems again.

My gyn warned me that some women can go into depession after having a hysterectomy. I didn't thankfully. I couldn' wait to get rid of the horrible bleeding, etc. My 22 year old daughter gave me a card congratulating me that the baby hotel was closed and shut down for good. I wanted this hysterectomy so badly. I was tired of living my life around my cycle. Just as with physicians, do not take the word of one therapist. If you don't agree with the therapist - get a second opinion. See another therapist and don't give up on yourself. You know you better than anyone else. I don't know you and its just my opinion but I think a diagnosis of bipolar shortly after a huge change in your life like this is too incredible to believe.