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Dearly missed hubby
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05-25-2006, 08:34 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 11
Hysterectomy: April 25th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Dearly missed hubby
My surg was April 24th, my hubby was home for two weeks and thenstarted back on business trips. He left May 7th and came home on the 12th, well needless to say he didn't have time for Mother's Day. No card, no gift, nothing. Is he truely that dense, Hello my womanlyhood was ripped out of my body and he left me home with the twin terrors for an entire week. Then the morning after mother's day he jetted off to CA for the week. Promised to be home for a week in between another trip and got called to KY this week. He comes home tonight and then off to St louis for another 4 days. I'm sore trying to just get boys off to school, homework, dinner, etc. House is a mess. He thinks that b/c I'm 4 weeks and can move around easier that I should be back to normal. I think he is getting through the 6 weeks of no sex by being gone. I'ts hard to put your needs ahead of others when you don't have much help and people see you driving and moving around and think you are faking pain or exhaustion because hey, it's been a month now, get over it!! Anyone else feel like they are being rushed to get healed because its an inconvience for them b/c that woman who does everything can do it?? Sorry to vent, rough night and emotional morning.
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05-25-2006, 08:44 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 541
Hysterectomy: April 3rd, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Dearly missed hubby
I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't have little ones to deal with, but I can imagine how hard it is. You really should be trying to take it easy through the day, but understand sometimes life steps in and you simply can't.
I felt like my DBF, Boss and Co workers were counting the days...that on that magical 6 week mark I would be miraculously CURED..and back to normal.
I am doing well, better than a lot, not as well as some, but I still feel like my body is healing, and it is sucking the energy out of me while it does.
I think we need to just be straight with those folks and tell them, this healing takes TIME. 6 weeks is not the magic number, its a just the amount of time somone decided it would be OK to go back to work. Just because we are UP and dressed, does not mean we can run a marathon, although there are probably some women at six weeks who can, did or will.
Hugs. T
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05-25-2006, 08:59 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 162
Hysterectomy: May 25th, 2005
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Dearly missed hubby
Hi, I felt that way too. My surgery was one year ago today. I had a lot on my plate at the time, raising my 2 toddler grandchildren, the youngest with his own severe medical needs. I had a relatively rapid recovery, but I was still exhausted at one month, with painful twinges and swelling.
My DH got manic, running his business 7 days a week and ignoring me. He acted put out that I wasn't completely better after 1 month.
He was far from the worst husband I read about, here, at the time. Some husbands are angels and others are jerks when push comes to shove. Any situation, where we can not be the assumed caretakers can bring out their true colors.
All I can say is men can be selfish that way. Try not to freak out, unless his behavior is truly henious. Have a cry, then explain in a calm way that you feel too exhausted and ask for the help you need. We ended up temporarily hiring a nanny.
It's weird the way my husband will later acknowlege how insensitive he was, long after the crisis has passed. While I'm down, he gets lost in his own way of dealing with it, like a big baby. Men!
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05-25-2006, 09:09 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 91
Hysterectomy: March 9th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Dearly missed hubby
I think you need to sit down with your husband and your dr, and have your dr explain, that you are doing too much. My husband went to every appointment with me except the 6 week post op. My dr explained everything to us, and that way, he heard it too. He has been very helpful. I am 11 weeks, and some days, I just want to sleep. My dr did tell me that I will not be completely healed for 6 months. I hope your husband realizes that you need help. Let the house be a mess, and do easy things for dinner, and if he doesnt like it, too bad, you are still healing. Relax, you need to heal.
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