Have you ever felt...

I feel like my world is coming down around me. Have you ever felt like everything was hitting you at once and you just couldn't handle it? Last Tues. my gyn told me I needed a hyster. I said OK, I knew it was for the best. I am tired of living in pain. They scheduled it for my 30th b-day. I did not like this b-day to start with and now I like it even less. He is doing a TAH-BSO. I have made my peace with the surgery I know I need to have.

Then this Monday my mom had an appt with my gyn. She had to be checked because of an abnnormal scan in the hospital when her hernia started acting up. Her MD sent her to get an ultrasound, bad results, right ovary is twice the size of the left. She also finished menopause at 43. History of clotting and abnormal periods as well as fibroids for at least 15 years. My gyn referred her to an gyn oncologyst. My gyn sent her for a blood test. He said if numbers came back high it is probably cancerous if low probably not. But she definatley needs a hyster and a hernia op asap. I call tomorrow for the results. Her appt with gyn/onc is this coming Tuesday.

I was not handling 9/11 well and now I am so deppressed that I am having spontaneous crying jags, not sleeping for more than 4 hours, smoking 2 packs of cigs a day and not eating well.

I am positive my mom has ovarian cancer, I can read faces and people pretty well (draw back of being a cop) and my gyn's face said it all. My mom and dad divorced when I was 3. She is my everything. Not only has she been both my parents, she is my best friend. I cannot lose her to cancer, we just lost my grandfather (her dad) in 93 due to cancer and it runs rampant in our family. My grandma (her mother) has skin cancer.

I just feel like the world is crashing around me and it won't end. I am tired of everything. I don't think I can handle anymore bad news and I have to call for her test results tomorrow.

I am really sorry to vent like this, I just really needed to get it out. I cannot say it to her because I don't want to scare her anymore than she already is. My hubby just wants me to quit crying at the drop of a hat. My little girl is totally oblivious to the possibility of her Grammy having cancer, her mommy having an operation and her never having a brother or sister that she wants so badly. One miscarriage, and then a tubal preg after that did me in for children, the hyster just finalizes it. I don't know how to explain any of this to my daughter.

I have came to the conclusion through all of this that I HATE TUESDAYS.

Thanks for letting me vent and get some of this frustration out. I do feel a little better just having this chance to actually spew it out.................Racquie

Hi Racquie,
I believe venting is the solution to alot of life's evils, and you've definately come to the right place.... You'll find that the women on this sight are very caring and are good listeners. So, come here to vent whenever you need to.
Please, keep your chin up and think positive.
Big Hugs,
Tammy

I am so sorry this is happening all at once for you. If you have been in pain for a long time, I can tell you that getting the hysterectomy will almost be like a birthday gift for yourself. My mother-in-law and a friend of her's have told me it is the best gift you can give to yourself after having been ill and in pain for a long time. I am still working on trying to believe that myself after only 14 days since my surgery.
I can tell you , you will find no better support than on this site and with the women here who are your sisters. Read it everyday and vent when you need to. Try not to worry until you know for sure about your mom's test results. Some doctors have a tendancy to have a grim and serious expression anyway. Please take care of yourself and remember you are not alone. There is a prayer section on this site you might find comforting also. And another section on cancer fears. God bless you and your mom.

Angelhart21

Dear Racquie,
I first would like to say "Welcome". Also I'm very sorry too hear about your mom and my prayers are with her. And I do understand how you feel, and it's certainly good too vent & express how you feel. My grandma was dx with breast cancer and I love her dearly, she's like my second mom. But I hold on knowing that there's hope & I just keep on praying. I myself have been very emotional these days too, but the good thing I can say is you've come to the right place... The women here are such a wonderful "support" and they've truly helped me alot through the tough days. Please hang in there & continue too let us know how you're doing. Thanks so much for sharing...
SweetOceanBlue77@aol.com

Dearest Racquie,
Please know you will be in my prayers and so will your mom. You vent all you want! Look at some of my posts prior to hyster....I was a whiner! And venter!
Life throws some curve balls that just really get you down and hurt a lot!
There is an old saying that when life gives you lemons...make lemonade....Well in a situation like this....you certainly don't feel like making lemonade! You need some sugar! And we are here to give it to you! Here comes lots of sugar! HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
Please hang in thre. No matter how it looks now, it might be ok. Your mom sounds wonderful. You are blessed to have her.
I wish I could say something that was truely inspiring here....so dificult to go thorugh things like this. Lots of prayers and a special candle lit for you and your mom!
Love and sugar.............
Peanut

Oh {{{{Racquie}}}} I'm not really very good at times like this, and don't know quite what to say .. but vent away!!! Let it out here ~ there are so many wonderful women here that geniunely
care, and I'm sure that they're all, as I am, hoping for the best results & news, for you & your mom ..

Take care, and when you feel up to it, let us know the results.

Dear Racquie, I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this at the same time: the hyst alone is overwhelming enough without having to worry about your mother at the same time. Here are a few 's for you and your mother. Please know that both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Racquie, I know you are very worried about your mother, but it will not be of any comfort to her if you damage your health by not taking care of yourself, smoking too much and neglecting to eat properly. You have to build up your strength in order for you to be able to face surgery.

Have you thought of seeking professional help to help you cope with all of these issues? You shouldn't have to face all of this without the support of someone who can help.

Sending lots of healing thoughts your way.

Racquie, I too have felt the same as you. I encourage you to read my post and replies at the Prayer Request for Hyster Sisters. My post is titled "why" and there are some encouraging replies there. Maybe those replies will comfort you as they did me.

Huggs to you
Ronda

Hi Racquie!

Wow...you sure have alot going on right now, your plate is very full, and no wonder you are feeling like your world is coming down. Don't apologize for venting here. I am very glad you posted as perhaps you will feel a bit better for having put this down in writing.

I can't add much to what the other ladies have told you, but
I know you say you don't want to lose your mom to cancer, and of course you don't. Your love for your mom is very obvious in your post, and of course you are worried about her.

First of all you don't know for sure that she is dealing with a cancer diagnosis. I pray she is not, but if it turns out that she is, please don't think automatically that you will lose her. I was diagnosed with ovarian last year, and I had my hysterectomy, and some chemo and I am doing just fine. The stats for ovarian cancer are very scary, but they are also quite out-dated. There are many new chemo drugs out now which are very effective, and more and more women are surviving ovarian cancer. There are several ovarian cancer survivors here on the site as well.

Please take care of yourself, and wait for all the results to come in, and then with the help of your moms doctors, take it a step at a time from there.

If you or your mom have any questions we have a wonderful Cancer Concerns forum here on the site as well, and we would be happy to do what we can to help you.

I know its very hard waiting for tests, and test results, and its all very hard on the nerves, but do try to keep a good outlook, and do remember that even if the news is not what you hope for, there are many times that surgery alone is enough without further treatment.

Take care Racquie and best of luck to you and your mom. I will be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted on your moms tests and oncologist appointment.
Hugs,
Maria

Racquie,

Vent all you want ... the great thing about this site is that there is so much love and support from all the ladies here. Your situation is bad, no doubt about it. I pray that your mom does not have cancer. I pray that you're up to all these challenges because there are many people in your life that need you right now.

I don't know if you are a person of faith, but during times like these, that's where I turn. You need support ... ask for it and you will receive it. If venting helps, vent all you want. We'll be here to support you and share our own joys and fears with you.

Sending healing prayers your way,
Beth