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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
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11-11-2008, 11:57 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 60
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
Please note, this one is NOT for the faint of heart. If you're already nervous, stop right here.
However, I need to get this off my chest before I totally explode. It's going to turn out alright because there is no other choice. But today, at pre-op I very nearly called the whole thing off.
Partly it's my fault, (LONG back story here), because I'm having so many things done at once. But I have some extremely valid reasons for doing it and two of my three Docs were totally on board with it. The biopsy Doc has been a pain from go, but he's a one shot deal. Even if it turns out to be "something" I'll travel as far as I have to to find someone else. Without question, I will find another hospital.
That said, here's my story of today. After spending two hours with my TLH Doc B. this morning, I ran for the Hospital next door to make it to my 11am appointment.
I ran into problems with EVERY SINGLE office I went to today except EKG. I have NO faith in T. Hospital right now. What happened to our wonderful hospital?
The front desk had me crossed out when I got there. The pre-admit nurse had me down for Dr. M. on Monday and Dr. B. on Wednesday. Wrong doctors, wrong days, wrong surgeries. They were complaining that things had been hectic and understaffed all day. It was only 11am!
I kid you not, the admit nurse was even swearing! She picked up my three files and said "****!" I said, "I'm sorry?" She said, "This is a <Please do not override the website censor.> mess! What the **** is going on?” I tried to explain. She cut me off and got on the phone hollering at someone to bring her more files. She went over my stuff a gazillion times, which would have made me feel better except she was muttering under her breath about people “catching **** for mistakes” and it “wasn't, by god, going to be her this time.”
There was no one in the blood lab when I got there. When she DID get there she complimented me on my wedding ring and mentioned hers from her former husband wasn’t as nice. UNBELIEVABLY that comment was followed by her personal story. Apparently, he left her a couple of months before her daughter died of cancer! Why am I having all this done again? WHAT was she thinking? I told her why I was coming in since she OBVIOUSLY hadn’t looked at my chart. She laughed and said she’d had a suspicious mammogram a couple of years ago too, but wasn’t doing anything about it because she was sure it was caused by the breast implants she’d had removed! Incredible! I didn’t even bother to tell her about the cervical situation. All I could see was my beautiful baby's face.
EKG at least was ready, waiting, fast, cheerful and didn’t test the wrong part.
I got to the VERY END of pre-op, at 2:00 no less, having been there for over two hours already, for a chest x-ray. They were trying to do the biopsy instead! Biopsy was on the schedule for THIS MORNING! They weren’t too happy that I was four hours late either! I told them to call Dr. B. clarification. They called Dr. G. That’s right, not Dr. W., who’s doing the biopsy. In fact, Dr. W wasn't scheduled for me at all with any of them, ever according to T. Hospital. It was Dr. G. period!
That part straightened out over the phone, the nurse then assured me that Dr. W. does NOT have me on the schedule for Monday and that doing the TLH and biopsy on the same day was utterly impossible in the first place because “one is inpatient and one is out.” Never mind all the assurances from N.B. at Dr. B.'s that everything was fine and perfectly coordinated—it just couldn’t and wouldn’t be done that way.
She tried to get me to stay another hour so that I could have the biopsy done then and there. I was already over an hour late for getting my three year old from pre-school and utterly unprepared anyway. I refused and walked out in tears.
She chased me down the hall trying to get me to come back for the chest X-ray. I told her no and that I wasn’t having anything else done there.
There was yet another message on my phone from the affiliate clinic about the shoulder when I got out. They STILL can’t figure out the schedule even though I’ve been on the phone with them daily for over a week. The last time I talked to them, they didn’t even believe that I’d gotten a reminder (for an appointment that didn’t exist) since they don’t “do them anymore.”
The one bright spot of the day was the pre-admit gal, Brenda. She was utterly wonderful in every single aspect of everything she did. She had a mess to straighten out and we both knew it right away. Nothing in her computer was as it should have been. But she smiled and said, “Hang on just a sec. I’ll have this in order in just a few minutes.” She chatted with me, putting my mind at ease. She gave me a ton of encouragement and even some advice on post op weight gain. Her sense of humor was much appreciated and her calm, cheerful ways in a time of complete chaos and fear went a long way to making me feel better about the whole ordeal. She asked lots of questions, double checked everything and asked me to let her know if I wasn’t called back for the rest by 12:30. She was convinced I could make it home by 1:30 at the latest to get my daughter and was determined to help me get through in time. Then, she even called ahead to the cussing lady and warned her to be extra careful because this one was going to be complicated and detailed.
Like everyone else I encountered, it would have been easy for Brenda to become frustrated, self absorbed and oblivious to my state. She didn’t. She went miles and miles beyond the call of duty--so much so that I called the front desk to get her full name. SOMEBODY over there, if anybody cares at all, needs to know what a perfect gem that woman really is. Sadly, I doubt she’ll be there long. They don’t seem to encourage that sort of thing over there anymore.
I had a long conversation with N.B. at Dr. B.’s afterward. She assured me that both she and N.L, Dr. B’s surgical nurse had personally spoken with Dr. W.’s scheduling nurse, N.K. and that everything was according to plan. I told her that I have lost confidence in the entire thing and that I was terrified that someone at T. Hospital was going to send me somewhere crazy like heart transplant, or that I would wake up with the wrong parts removed by the wrong doctor. She promised me that N.L. will be there the whole way and that T. Hospital will not be in control of anything once N.L. is in charge. I pray she’s telling the truth.
What started out as a major relief has turned into an unbelievable nightmare and I’m not at all sure we should go through with any of it. I can’t believe this is the same hospital that was so wonderful three years ago when my daughter was born. If there were anywhere else to go, believe me, we’d be postponing all of it and going somewhere else.
I feel trapped, terrified and utterly astounded at the complete chaos, lack of professionalism and self centered attitudes I encountered at every level except booth one—Brenda.
Too bad she’s not in charge. No one else over there seems to be.
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11-12-2008, 06:09 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 71
Hysterectomy: October 30th, 2008
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
Webbiesway,
what a bad day you had, you poor thing! I had a similar experience with my family physician (but in a MUCH smaller way...) and I remember how very frustrated I felt. He was a very good doctor, but his office was a zoo-every single time I went or called. I really had to become my own advocate when it came to seeing him. It sounds like that's what you're doing too. Is there someone who will be with you at the hospital who can be your advocate? One positive thing: It does sound like the "important" players involved in your healthcare are on top of everything. Good luck and God bless you!
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11-12-2008, 10:57 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 60
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
Thanx Judy3. I can't believe you read all the way through that mess! haha!
Yes, my husband will be with me, so I've got a strong advocate on my side.
Sadly. N.B. lied. I got a call from Dr. W's office this morning. He cannot do it on Monday. Period.
We're now trying to get the biopsy in the day after my shoulder surgery. I'm waiting for clearance from Dr. M. on that now, which of course will mean rescheduling my post op with him and my PT with his office--not to mention the ungodly amount of pain I will be in.
I'm so mad and so frustrated I can't see straight.
Thanx for letting me know you've been through similar chaos and survived to read my mess and offer encouragement. I really appreciate it. There's so much going on over here right now I just can't dump it all on my dear sweet hubby. The poor guy is going through so much on top of all my stuff, I'm afraid I'll break him!
Tomorrow is another day, right?
P.S. Sorry Mods! I didn't mean to circumvent the censors. I thought I had blocked out enough to follow the rules. I apologize. It won't happen again.
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11-12-2008, 11:39 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 41
Hysterectomy: October 15th, 2008
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
I completely understand why you would be mad, frustrated, disappointed and nervous. Just know, when you get your surgery none of these people will be involved. It will be your doctor and her surgical team and a team of nurses in your recovery.
I hope it gets easier for you. Good luck.
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11-12-2008, 02:14 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 244
Hysterectomy: December 9th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
I do wish I could reach out and give you a BIG HUG after a LONG FRUSTRATING DAY!!
My only suggestion is double check with each Doctor's office to have that office prior to surgery date to review tests results that each had requested are indeed reflected in the records.
Thereby, each Dr. involved is has evidence and verified your records so as there is no last minute delays due to an incompetent or hurried hospital staffer who neglected to attach the results of those required tests!
Hopefully the road to your recovery and surgery will get much smoother!
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11-12-2008, 02:51 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 60
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
No luck. Dr. M won't clear it. They will have to roll me to the right side to get a good look at the left breast. He's afraid they'll pull the staples.
Back to square one with three days to go.
Wonderful.
And the vent continues.
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11-12-2008, 04:38 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 197
Hysterectomy: October 30th, 2008
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
I guess I don't know the whole story. First off I am so sorry you had a day like that. I would have walked out long before you. I guess you don't have an option to move the surgery date at all? I can see where doing it all at once would make it easier for you to get back to your normal life without 2 down times.
If the breast biopsy is the issue... depending on how yours is done really don't hurt much at all and you could do that later with no issues. (I understand waiting is the biggest issue when it is your body)
As for the shoulder and hyster. I give you credit. That may be a bit much all at once. I do wish you the best and hope things get fixed for you soon. Don't give up, somehow things always seem to work out in the end.
Cristy
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11-12-2008, 05:25 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 60
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
Thanx so much for the great support and well wishes, ya'll.
It's the end of another incredibly frustrating day. Hubby brought home wine, bless him. I'm going to drink it knowing that tomorrow I will most likely cancel the TLH and so will be outside my 7 day "clean system" for another day.
After a WHOLE lot of mess today, it turns out that a hospital a couple of hours away might be able to get me in for the biopsy before the shoulder surgery. The biopsy surgeon nurse told me she thinks that Dr.W. will be willing to work with that hospital. He was gone for the day so she will call me and let me know tomorrow.
So, the TLH for Monday will probably have to be canceled since I won't be released until Tuesday and the shoulder surgery is Thursday. Unless they can do it Wednesday...and I can handle the two hour car ride...but that's pretty much a hopeless wish at this point.
The biopsy is obviously more urgent than the TLH and since it was the TLH Dr. B's nurse that lied to me the whole way, I don't feel all that bad about canceling so late in the game.
It does blow my dream of having help all the way through as my mother won't be able to stay beyond three weeks. Not much chance of getting the TLH re-scheduled before then with Thanksgiving in the way and even if we can do it the week after, Mom only has a few more days after that.
Why couldn't N.B. at Dr. B.'s just have told me the truth when the whole thing started? The biopsy would already be done by now, the TLH would go as planned on Monday, my shoulder would be fixed on Thursday and I'd have solid help with my little one while my dearest hubby goes through his audit with the FAA.
Some things just aren't meant to be, I guess. I'm sad for me, but I'm sadder for my beautiful girl. Just when she's most sick of being patient and careful and bored and lonely, her Grannie will leave and we'll start all over.
It's not fair. It's just not. All because one overly helpful nurse wanted to reassure me without having done her homework first.
I should've done it all myself in the first place instead of relying on her promises to coordinate the whole thing.
Lesson for us all. Don't trust anyone with anything. Do it yourself. Double check it. No matter how time consuming and stressful it is to spend day after day on the phone with Dr. after Dr. after hospital, the only way you can be sure is if YOU take total charge.
You're the only one with nothing to sell and no money to make. You're the only one you can trust to have your best interests front and center.
I've certainly learned it. The hard way.
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11-13-2008, 08:05 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 244
Hysterectomy: December 9th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
I really must hand it to you! You are one tough cookie!
I don't know how many could have handled all this and manage to keep their sanity...BRAVO for you!
As disgusting and disappointing as all this is..hang n there! Just do as you have been..one foot in front of the other-One day at a time..If you ever need this site in the future..you know where it is and all do try to help one another!
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11-14-2008, 06:51 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 60
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MAJOR VENT (child mentioned)
Thank you CuriousVirg!
I usually see myself as pretty tough. I've been through a lot, overcome a lot, and generally have a very positive outlook. Your words are timely. I had really begun to doubt it. It's utterly overwhelming at this point and I just want to crawl into a dark hole and ignore it all.
Can't be done tho.
So the biopsy did indeed get scheduled for Wednesday before the shoulder on Thursday. Technically that does leave me time for the TLH. But after everything that happened, I just don't think I want that hospital and I'm no longer sure I want that doctor either.
The choice is living with the pain, the temporary fix procedures, the starting over with yet another doctor--or going ahead with something that doesn't feel safe. It's a no-win.
I'm soooooo tired of being sick and tired. But it's looking like I'm going to have to do it for another six months at least. There's a very special Doc up in North Alabama. They can't get me in until June. I got myself on their cancelation list, so all I can do now is wait and hope.
Maybe the pain meds for the shoulder will wipe out the other pain for a month or so, right?
I appreciate all the encouragement and support I've found here. I'll stick around throughout to try and return that priceless gift for someone else. It's the least I can do.
Thank you for being here. It's helped a great deal.
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