Stress!!!!

I feel like screaming! I'm now less than two weeks away and I feel like I'm going to freak!

What do you all do for the stress once you reach that period where you start counting down?

Aunt Flo postponed her visit this month. I should consider that a blessing...but somehow it's not. All it did was confirm that I am not in control. She is and has been for too long.

I figure the stress kept her away. But I was looking forward to helping her pack her bags.

The holiday is coming. It's a big deal where I live. Add to that family from out of town coming in for the weekend. I was looking forward to seeing them (mom, dad, sister and her family) They won't be staying with me, but just having them here is adding to the stress.

I'm angry at myself because I don't think I should feel this way.

DH has his own agenda in preparation for my big day. He wants his yard (we have 1/2 acre with lawn, garden, etc.) to be at a point where it can manage itself....yeah, right! All so he can be inside with me to care for me.

And then there's that. Him caring for me. Don't get me wrong. He's great. And I know he adores me. It's just that we think differently about the housework and eating. I know he's going to fry everything he feeds me. YUCK! And he'll never do a thorough enough job cleaning up after himself in the kitchen when he's done.

It's typical of me to get my expectations so high and feel frustrated because others can't live up to my expectations. Yes, you can call me a control freak!

There is just so much that is not going to get done while I'm a princess.

How do you all let it go?

And then there is the whole financial thing. I teach school, so I'm having my surgery during the summer break. Usually though, I take on a small job to help with the bills during the summer. Techinically, this is my first summer off.

So what do I do? I start spring cleaning as soon as school gets out so that the house will be clean while I can't clean it.

But back to the finances...some idiot from the surgery center called yesterday. He registered me. Told me a nurse would call with my pre-op appointment info. But while he was registering me he said that the surgery center likes/expects an up-front payment of $250.00 on the day of surgery. He then asked if we could pay all or part of that. Naturally, I said yes.

I told DH about it once I was off the phone. He freaked! "We can't afford...." Honestly, he said, "Sure, we'll pay part that day....our $15.00 co-pay." He expects me to call the insurance company and find out how much we will have to pay. And to ask about the up-front expenses.

Well, that just added to my stress level.

Oh, this epistle is too long! I think I just needed to vent.

I think I'll go walk the dog....sure hope he can keep up because I feel like running.

Venting,
C

Vent, vent, vent all you want. We have all been there.

As far as the cleaning of the house goes, just remember DH is doing the best that he can and dishes and laundry will always be there. Healing after your surgery will only happen once. What is more important? Getting better and healing correctly or cleaning your house? Between the pain I was in and then the loopy feeling I had from taking the pain meds, I did not worry about the house. If you can do this, just praise your DH for all that he does for you when you become a crowned punctured princess in recovery. It will make him feel good [hopefully.]

Hi,

I am sorry you are so stressed, you are dealing and worrying about a lot right now.

I found it helped DH if I made a list of what we were going to cook at night and went out and got groceries for 2 weeks worth before I went into the castle. You can freeze 1 or 2 casseroles as well.

I had DH vacuum, clean bathrooms, laundry, run to store on weekends. There won't be so much laundry on weekend if he puts them in washer and dryer during the week. In a week I was helping fold and could put some clothes away if I didn't need to bend over. I also could clean up dishes if not bending and lifting anything too heavy.


After the first couple of days I could fix my own breakfast and
lunch while he was at work and as time went on, pick up after
myself and straighten up as long as nothing was lifted that was heavy. It gets easier as you get further from your surgery.

Try to get as much done before your surgery as you can and have a food plan of some kind.

Here are some articles on Pre-Op and Post-Op that have info that is very helpful:

https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/hsl...s=&forumid=170

https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/hsl...s=&forumid=171

I hope this helps and best wishes on your upcoming surgery.

If the house doesn't get done, it will be there when you can do it, but your recovery is important and you only have one chance to heal properly.

It is good to praise DH for his efforts, it makes everything go so much better.

s

Hi,

I got myself into a real frenzy about the cleaning, childcare etc before my surgery. Now I'm home from the castle, feeling ok but very tired and I couldn't care less about the house!

The best thing to do is to get the room you will be spending most time in clean and nice, so it doesn't bug you too much to look at it. Also useful would be to put the things you will want in the first couple of weeks somewhere you can get to them easily without bending or lifting things.

Can't help with the finances as it is different in the UK, but maybe if you call your insurance company they could advise you?

Good luck!
xxx

You're normal about being stressed out. I was in a frenzy trying to get everything done and about being perfectly prepared. I think it's so sweet that your husband wants to have the time to take care of you. I know it seems like you will never get everything done. You'll survive! I was so relieved when my date came, despite not having everthing as ready as I wanted. I live alone, so was obsessed. Turns out the things that didn't get done didn't matter, came home to a whole set of unexpected problems from storm damage while I was gone (no telephone, internet, TV reception or computer). But it all worked out!

Pre-surgery is a stressful time, most of us react with the frenzy and planning. Take a deep breath and say "It will all work out." So what if the house and meals aren't perfect for a while? It will soon be a memory.

As far as the finances go, hospitals are getting proactive about collecting money. If it was me, I would only give them the co-pay now. Tell them you will wait to see the final bill after your insurance(s) has paid. If you can't pay the whole amout at once, talk to patient finance and set up a payment plan. As long as you are proactive with the hospital, they should work with you. Wait for the bills to come in, it is not customary to pay up front. I send off my payment to the hospital last week and just got the final (adjusted) bill from my doctor. No body has been hounding me.

Another thing that helped me de-stress was that I had my surgery a couple days after returning from a previously planned mini vacation. The trip broke my obsessive cycle and made the final stretch of waiting much easier. Maybe you could plan a day family outing or something that would get your mind of "the day" a few days before. I really needed the destressor at that point!

"C" I'm sorry you feel so freaked out. That's perfectly normal. Maybe you could get a neighborhood girl to come in, do a few dishes and run the vacuum for you if it gets too much for you to look at. Otherwise, Let that man take care of you. You are the most important person right now and everthing will fall into place. You have a lifetime to catch up on all the mundane daily stuff, but only one chance to heal the right way and take care of yourself. We're all pulling for you and I'm sure the finances will take care of themselves. Besides if you don't take care of yourself and have to go back to the castle for repair work, it will be even more $. Good luck, you'll be in my prayers. BKE

You ladies are really awesome! What great advice I've received.

I highly recommend the articles that SuzyQ attached. If anyone is feeling like me, check them out! The Hyster Sisters team has done a great job collecting valuable advice for "Sisters" who've been through it all before.

I've had a couple of days to put everything in perspective. Still emotional, but I know it will all work out.

Thank you again for your support and prayers. They help.

C

First Breathe- i am a control freak right there with you!

My mom is coming up wednesday after i get out of the castle...but on top of that she owns her own cleaning busienss so she is a cleaninign fanatic...God bless her for that- however i dont' have the time so i hired merry maids for that.

i have my husband taking care of the yard...

i just worked my last day yesterday so now it's crunch time to get my business in order...

take it from one control freak to another....let it go this time...
when we get out of the castle we can get our control back to a point. but for now- i'm just letting it go- 3 days and counting...

i'll keep you in my thoughts sweetie because i know it is hard- but i finally just gave up....but only for a little while