Anyone single having/had hysterectomy?

This may seem an insignificant thing to worry about, but I will be having my hysterectomy (not sure which method yet) in February. I am a single woman (recently divorced), 51 and live alone. I have just started reading some of the messages and am a little worried (and envious!) because of women who have devoted husbands to take care of them at home after the surgery. :inlove: I won't have that.

My daughter (only child) who is 29 and a school teacher will undoubtedly be there to help me, but I don't know how much time she will be able to take off from teaching. She will be able to be with me for at least 2-3 days after the surgery (once I am home) and I am hoping my coming home will happen near the weekend to add some days she is with me. She is great; I am the one who will not want to impose on her or my son-in-law too much.

I have a good relationship with my X-DH, and I know he will do whatever I need him to do, but we are, after all, divorced and I am not sure how I will feel having him around during this time. I have friends who can help in an emergency or pick something up at the store, etc. But I will probably be on my own fairly soon.

I guess what I am asking is, do you think I will be ok? This has really got me worried. I wake up at night wondering what I will do, how I will handle it. Has anyone gone through this/is planning to go through this as a single woman?? Any and all suggestions will be appreciated!

Hello debbiealexa

I am and was single when I had my hysterectomy. I do have children they are young so they where not to much help. What I tried to do was to have most of the stuff I need in the house like food....and I did the big clean right before the surgery and just said oh well when I got home.....I did try take it easy for the most part. I was able to drive a week after sugery so that help alot. And I would just ask very small things from the children when they where home from school....You will be fine just take it easy and day by day. It is amazing how fast you feel good.....well I did and everyone heals differently. I hope this help or at least puts you mind at some rest.... Write me if you have any questions

bye 4 now
Dee Ann

Hi, debbiealexa!

We're pretty much in the same boat! I am 47, divorced, no children, and very independent. I am having my surgery in - - - Yikes! OMG! LESS THAN 24 HOURS!!!!!!!!

I'm still preparing for it. When I am discharged from the hospital, I will stay with some close friends for at least a week, possibly longer. I've arranged for my cat sitter to take care of things here and have several friends coming to the hospital with me tomorrow. We have already established that they will check on me and will be available to run errands for me after I return home.

Like you, I have often envied those ladies with good, loving DHs. I never had a guy who was really helpful, giving, and/or compassionate. So I've chosen to face things alone, but SURPRISE! I have friends who will help.

Call on your daughter for help. Don't think of it as imposing. You have a very real need right now and asking for help is NOT imposing. Those who love you will want to know exactly what to do. Prepare your home for your return: put things you will need on counters so you can reach them. I've moved food, drinking water, dishes, toilet paper, kleenex, etc. to waist-high level - - -even if I had to re-arrange my apartment to do it. Stock up on things before surgery - - food, etc., to cut down on store trips later.

I think I'm well-prepared for this. The financial side of things still has me frightened, but there is nothing I can do about that right now.

Yes! You will be OK! I will volunteer to go first and show you!
I will post my story here as soon as I can afterwards. Betcha I learn more, too, as I go along....

Have faith and keep yourself informed by reading these boards and the rest of this site. Now - - - time for me to pull AWAY from the 'puter and continue my getting-ready stuff.

Stay in touch, OK?

hi debbiealexa...no question is insignificant!

I am a single woman who went thru a SAH a month ago. I was fortunate that my family came from the East coast to help me - I planned my surgery to be close to Thanksgiving!

My best advice is to stock up your home with yummy food to eat...fill your freezer with foods you enjoy. Rent good movies...and get a bunch of magazines.

You will be more mobile that you think...You'll be able to get around your home without much assistance. And if your daughter is able to check on you - get your mail, make sure you're not picking stuff up...you'll be fine!

Do you have friendly neighbors? Folks are always willing to help when they know you're in need. Also - I've seen folks who ask for visits from their houses of worship...often there are people who make visits - bring food...etc.

You'll do fine...don't stress too much. Even with an abdominal incision I was up and about really quickly.

All the best to you.

I am a single, independent (perhaps a bit stubborn) woman, who has recovered solo from 4 or 5 myomectomies and am in the process of recovering from my recent hysterectomy. You will do fine!

I always make sure my pantry is stocked with foods I will want to eat when I'm not feeling well. (like soups), and my freezer has fruits, vegetables and meals that I like. And maybe some chocolate ice cream ... ya know .. just incase I decide that's what I want for dinner. Lots of juices on hand too. I make sure the pots or pans I think I will need are out on top of the stove or within reach without bending. I stock up on books to read and I pay extra attention to the bedroom and livingroom since those are the rooms I will be in the most. I also make sure anything I might normally store under the bathroom sink, but may need is moved to the top of the counter.

I agree with the person who said you will be more mobile than you think. Your daughter checking on you and being available should you find you need something from the market or what not will probably be all the help you need.

My sweetie calls or stops by everyday to make sure I am OK, or see if there is anything I need like movies rented. He of course could stay over and take complete care of me ... but darnit he snores and I'm a princess and we princesses need our rest!!

My only caveat ... take extra care that first time in the shower. I'm anemic so I tend to get a little woozy if I have the water to hot n steamy.

Write if you have any questions! You'll be just fine!

BSQ

Hi there!

I really think you'll be okay by yourself after 3 days or so. Just make sure you prepare the house as much as possible before your surgery. Here are some tips:

Once you're at home, you'll need to have some comfortable clothes to wear. I found men's pajamas very comfortable, because the large, drawstring waists came up well above my incision, and the button-up tops didn't have to go over my head (hard to get my arms up). You will probably want to have large, "granny-panties" in a size or two large than you normally wear (you will be swollen and sore!).

Have a tummy pillow handy at all times! This would be a small pillow that you hold against your abdomen when you have to sneeze or cough. Keep it where you can grab it with only a second’s notice! I had a sneeze sneak up on me once when I couldn’t grab my pillow – ouch! It felt like my insides exploded.

Have plenty of no-preparation foods on hand, like fruit, soup, cereal, snack bars, etc. I had absolutely no appetite for a couple of weeks, and I finally drank some Ensure, which went down ok. You may want to have some of that in the fridge for times you just don’t feel like eating, but need nourishment.

Also, buy PLENTY of juice! You will need to drink LOTS of liquids when you get home to help with the gas. I got bored with the same type of juice, so I bought lots of different types, and put them in small containers (I found it difficult to lift and pour large containers for awhile). Don't drink anything carbonated, and don't use a straw (makes the gas worse).

WALKING is very helpful with the gas! Walk as often as is comfortable (my walks were VERY short and slow, but I did several a day), and it should really help get your bowels working smoothly again.

I also found a shower chair very helpful. Standing up long enough to shower wore me out! You could also use any plastic chair that will fit in your shower.

VERY IMPORTANT: have anything you might need at waist-level. This includes toilet paper, pads, clothing, cups, food, plates, etc. Believe me, you will NOT want to bend or reach for anything! The house may look cluttered for awhile with everything sitting out on counter tops, but it's worth it!

When you’re alone, make sure the phone is where you can reach it at ALL times! Several of us have gotten “stuck” (couldn’t get off the couch without help, problems in the bathroom, etc.), and have needed to call for assistance.

Once you’re feeling a bit better, you might start getting a bit bored. Unfortunately, you will be very limited in what you will be able to do. These are some things I did to pass the time, along with some suggestions from other hystersisters:

Reading LOTS of books
Writing long letters to friends and family (real letters, not e-mail!)
Organizing photo albums
Drew out plans for the garden
Bought a tape to improve Spanish skills
Watching lots of movies
Crafts, quilting, etc.
HYSTERSISTERS site!

Good luck!

Hi Debbiealexa,
I am 44, single and had a SAH on Sept.25 - and no significant other, no kids. I, too, was worried about all of the things you are, so to keep busy with the preop nerves - I spent my time getting ready for my recovery. I made freezer meals, stocked up on toilet paper, food, etc. Cleaned as best as I could. Got finances in order and had cash on hand. Bought books, puzzles, and crafts to do. I am now a crossword buff. Had no concentration to read, very unusual for me. And you will be surprised at how others will offer to help - you have to say yes. I went to stay at a friends for the first couple of days after hospital discharge. Had friends who helped with grocery pickups, laundry, taking out the garbage, etc. I am very independent and had to learn to say yes to people who offered to help out. I also had to learn that if it fell on the floor - it stayed there until someone came over and could pick it up. Quite humorous actually. Either I could pick it up with my feet or it was just too bad. I never knew how clumsy I am! And don't let anyone get you a jug of milk - I learned I needed the quart size, even if it was several - the jugs are too hard to lift. And have lots of comfy clothes to lay about in.
Good luck to you,

I am also single, 33, no kids, and live alone (2000 miles away from any family). However, I am very lucky because my Mom is coming out for 2 weeks to help me after the surgery Beyond that I've arranged for my closest friends to help me out in "shifts" - and I've shared enough info with them that they know what to expect. In the meantime, I'm putting together a list of things I need to have around after the surgery - particularly heavy things like cat litter, cat food, milk, etc. To echo the advice of everyone here, I think preparation is the key. I'm making lists like a madwoman and I still have around a month to go!

Best of luck to you

Heidi

I'm single and no signif other, no kids, and felt the same as you did when reading all the posts of the lucky souls who had DH's to look after them. My surgery isn't until Feb 13/02, so I'm still in the wait, plan and fret stage. Thanks for starting the thread -- it was good to see some of the things I've already done to prepare turn up in the posts from the experienced ones, and I also got a few more ideas. The biggest challenge for me will be the stairs between first and second floor of the house (I'm not going to be bunking in with anyone - rather be in my own bed) ... but I'm trying to set up the second floor (only one with a bathroom!!), so I'll need to use the stairs as rarely as possible those first few days.

I've also ramped up the abdominal crunches (yuck!!) to help the belly be stronger to deal with all that healing.

But what I most wanted to add was --- don't neglect the emotional in the midst of all the planning. I got heavily into practical stuff for the first few weeks after I got my surgery date, and then this week, the emotional crept up and wallopped me from behind! I'm pre-menopausal, so this surgery will mean alot of changes, and one really big door will be closed. But I think for anyone this is surgery with alot of emotional baggage, and if you don't let yourself ride through the emotional ups and downs,
you're gonna get wallopped when you least expect it.

Take care of yourself now, and take care of yourself after surgery -- and remember that we're all here for you!