Need a little love from the sisters!

I am a little nervous about surgical menapause.....
I guess it is just more of the unknown that I am afraid of. I have been hurting so long now I have learned my hormones and kinda know when I am fluxuating and have learned to chill myself out. So I am usually a pretty even kiltered person. I just do not want to fly off the handle at home or at work.............

Speaking of work, sheeschhhhhhhh, I work in a small dental office been there for 12 years, and well, we have 3 male doctors. One is an old sweetheart who said when I told them of my upcoming surgery "Thank god your finally getting that crap cut out!" The second middle aged dr. said "Ok, well ,we'll get a gurney and strap some instruments in your hand and you'll do fine about a week out , Right?" He was kidding thank goodness. The third doctor, A new , goodlooking young man , stuck his fingers in his ears and said, "blah blah.. blah... I can't hear anything!"

The doctors are great about it, really. Very understanding and will hold my job until I am ready to return. But.....
It's some of the girls I work with,(2 out of 11 of them.) And the ones I am, or thought I was closest to ,are being ,for lack of a better word, *******. They have not spoken to me since I announced my plans and are relly being hateful.

They make me feel like crap. It's not like I wanted to have all this stuff wrong with me. I did not want endometreosis, fibroids,and cyst. And I did not want to have an elevated ca125, I sure don't like the pain or the stuff that comes along with it. They make me feel like it is a real inconvenience for them, for me to be gone, instead of being supportive and helpful. I do not get it.

Before, when I would come to work and be in pain or hemoraging changing out pads every 20 minutes etc. etc. etc. They seemed to really be concerned. And some of the other girls in the office that I don't get to spend as much time with have really been there for me , asking me how I am and such. I just do not understand this mentality. I would never treat anyone the way they have treated me!

Okay............... I think my hormones must be fluxuating, and I need to chill. Thanks for letting me vent! Love you guys.

Troplsun, first off . I feel your pain. For some reason, some people are either unable or unwilling to be supportive when others need it most or they focus only on how the situation will impact THEM with no thought whatsoever about how you may feel. I am sorry that you are going through this.

My work was completely supportive, too, until I had an actual date. Then I was told that I'd have to change it because it was really inconvenient for me to be gone. Even after I explained that because of insurance issues I cannot change the date, they are still not happy, and to this day - 3 days before my surgery - they are STILL dumpiong huge projects on me. A few of my coworkers have expressed that they will miss me and are being great about it all, but certainly not everyone.

You just have to remember that you have to take care of YOU. They can just get over it. You did not ask for the issues and I am sure you aren't happy about them, however, they ARE something that you MUST deal with. You cannot risk your health and well-being just to satisfy them, because if they are like the people I know - nothing will make them happy anyway.

Take care of yourself, don't let the ****** get to you!! Be well!

Thanks for the reply Butterfly. I do need to keep it in perpective. Its me time.
Its just I am so nervous and I really do not need the added stress. Why can't people be more like us? lol. Today, one of the girls was leaving for the beach and I won't see her before my surgery. I told her to have a fun and a safe trip and she said "Thanks." At least she spoke to me?

I am sorry you must deal with silliness too. We will be okay.

You have that right! We will be just fine!! We can keep each other company during our recovery!

Butterfly>
Good. That will give me something to look forward to in recovery. Best wishes to you, and everyone.

Troplsun and Butterfly 101-
I wish you both a smooth surgery and recovery, first of all. This is "the place" to find total understanding and support - so it is good that you are here.

Beyond the fact that some people are just self-centered and lack empathy in any situation, I think many don't understand the impact this surgery will have on us. Regardless of the reason we needed the surgery, once we get thru the recovery period - we are (hopefully) freed from all the pains, symptoms, and hassles we had had.
There are people who can only look at how their own life, job load, schedules, etc. are affected ("Is this going to mean more work for me?" "or inconvenience me?") Some just don't see it as major surgery. Some might be afraid or nervous about any surgery and someone they know having surgery - brings it closer to home.
Regardless of why - as you approach your dates - focus on the positive benefits and the positive people you have in your lives.
Find some time to yourself before going and take it easy once you come home!

And know you have here with open arms and hearts just waiting to hear how you are!!

Thank you for your words of comfort, and you are so right. I will focus on the positive, and the people who are supporting me. I was just so frustrated this past week with the negitive energy I was getting. Thank you and all the people who are here, suporting me and all who seek your words of wisdom and knowledge and kindness. Bless you all.

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

OMG! I can totally relate to what you are going through. Not now but a few years ago, I decided to have a Gastric Bypass, part of the reason was that I have PCOS and being so overweight I was told that loosing some would help. Anyway, At the time I was an Orthodontic Assistant in a practice with 2 Doctors and upwards of 25 other female employees. Some of them were so supportive, but others that had been my closest friends, turned their backs on me. It really hurts when that happens. I ended up leaving the practice about 6 months after I had the surgery for personal reasons.

Other women don't understand unless they've been there. I'm happy that where I'm at now everyone has been ultra supportive. Try to take comfort in the people that are supporting you. The others that have turned there back on you are not worth worrying about. I know that's hard to do. Luckily you can come here and cry and vent all you want and we all understand, cause we're standing right there with you.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by troplsun I am a little nervous about surgical menapause..... I guess it is just more of the unknown that I am afraid of. I have been hurting so long now I have learned my hormones and kinda know when I am fluxuating and have learned to chill myself out. So I am usually a pretty even kiltered person. I just do not want to fly off the handle at home or at work............. Speaking of work, sheeschhhhhhhh, I work in a small dental office been there for 12 years, and well, we have 3 male doctors. One is an old sweetheart who said when I told them of my upcoming surgery "Thank god your finally getting that crap cut out!" The second middle aged dr. said "Ok, well ,we'll get a gurney and strap some instruments in your hand and you'll do fine about a week out , Right?" He was kidding thank goodness. The third doctor, A new , goodlooking young man , stuck his fingers in his ears and said, "blah blah.. blah... I can't hear anything!" The doctors are great about it, really. Very understanding and will hold my job until I am ready to return. But..... It's some of the girls I work with,(2 out of 11 of them.) And the ones I am, or thought I was closest to ,are being ,for lack of a better word, *******. They have not spoken to me since I announced my plans and are relly being hateful. They make me feel like crap. It's not like I wanted to have all this stuff wrong with me. I did not want endometreosis, fibroids,and cyst. And I did not want to have an elevated ca125, I sure don't like the pain or the stuff that comes along with it. They make me feel like it is a real inconvenience for them, for me to be gone, instead of being supportive and helpful. I do not get it. Before, when I would come to work and be in pain or hemoraging changing out pads every 20 minutes etc. etc. etc. They seemed to really be concerned. And some of the other girls in the office that I don't get to spend as much time with have really been there for me , asking me how I am and such. I just do not understand this mentality. I would never treat anyone the way they have treated me! Okay............... I think my hormones must be fluxuating, and I need to chill. Thanks for letting me vent! Love you guys.

I know how you feel. I had called and told my boss yesterday that I had to have a hysterectomy and a few other things done. She was not happy. All she could say was that she thought that things at work were finally going to be going smooth enough for her to take time off of work. I was so mad and upset. I felt that I could lose my job over it. She told me that I needed to wait till around December or so to get it. Well, the way I see it is my health comes before my job no matter how bad I need that paycheck. She did finally apologize to me for acting the way she did but that really didn't make me feel better. I still feel guilty about the whole thing. I did tell her that I was not intentionally trying to inconvience her or anyone else. This is a small company I work for and new people need to be hired and trained. Later when I found out today when my surgery was going to be she was better about it. It just goes to show that some people don't want to think of others and their health, only of themselves.
I hope that the people you work with will try to understand and be more supportive. It is not easy stressing over surgery and having to deal with people like that on top of it.
Let us know how the surgery went. I still have a while till mine.

Thanks for all of the support from my sisters! It does make it so much easier to go through everything knowing I am not the only person this has happened to. Makes me realize it is not me ..It is them, that has a problem. We are all good people going through a difficult time and I hope they never have to deal with the same issues. Thanks again for all of your love and hugs.