emotions finally hitting me

Hi all, sorry I just need to vent. I have nobody else to talk to about my fears. I have been fine with having the surgery until today, I was almost excited to start my new life without the constant bleeding and everything that comes with it. Today I realized that I don't have any pictures of myself and I started thinking if something goes wrong my kids will not even remember me. I know I will be fine, but I am a big weeping mess. I am due to get my period this weekend so that is not helping with the emotions. Sorry. I know after the surgery I will be laughing at myself for thinking this way and reading over my post I already feel foolish. Sorry again for being so silly and thanks for giving me this outlet to be honest.

You are not foolish! The waiting is the hardest part and I cried all the time worrying about the unknown. In fact I was crying as they wheeled me into the OR. The hospital staff will take supreme care of you-in the meantime vent away. Everyone here understands. I am not even 1 week post op and still cannot believe how good I feel and so will you. You can do this and know that I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way!

Not silly at all, I actually wrote letters to my husband and kids..just in case. I was a wreck before surgery, went into the OR crying like a baby....but it was all worry for nothing. Surgery was a breeze and recovery has been painless.

Thanks ladies. I am glad that you are recovering so well. The letters are a good idea, I will do those tonight. Thanks for the great idea. (((hugs)))

I cried a lot too. Two little boys...why was I doing this. I needed to convince myself that the hyster was the best thing for me...even though I was so scared. I cried at night, didn't sleep much the night before. The morning of the surgery I was a wreck. I was alone in the waiting room...crying. Worried I wasn't going to make it. The nurses were good. My doctor saw me and asked why the tears. I explained. She smiled. I thought she was going to laugh at me for being so silly. She just assured me all would be okay. And then they wheeled me into the OR. They gave me the "happy medicine" right away. All was good. People can tell you day after day, you'll be fine. It doesn't always help.

Dear Mila Bo Bila.....i too was very scared and honestly it's the what if's that will make you crazy! You have to know that this is a needed surgery and i don't know of anyone who has or would do this just because, so knowing that helped me alot, all the pain i had before was so worth the surgery i am almost 8weeks post op, i have had my ups and downs through my recovery, but i would do it over again just to not have the painful periods that were debilitating...i also wrote letters for the just in case i kept thinking about and it was wonderful to come home and delete them! But in my case it helped me to write down my thoughts and feeling at the time before my surgery it somehow made it easier if that makes any sense at all....but its the thoughts before that are the worst...stay strong and know we are all here for you for what ever you need! See you on the other side 8-) Hugs for healthy healing and happy thoughts

Thanks ladies, you really are the best!!

You are not alone. There is not a day that goes by that I don't stop and think what if they find something more then they are expecting. What happens if it's more then just precancer/stage 1 cancer....what if this....what if that. My husband will be a lost puppy. The worse is for many years I always had this gut feeling I would die at 55 (not trying to be morbid), but for some reasons for years that always has struck me. Well here it is, I'm 55 and facing this. My husband although supportive, but I think he's putting on a good show. So your not alone, we are all in the same boat and we just need to make sure we help each other with our lifevests. Guess I rambled a little to much, sorry. Please take care.

I can fully understand your feelings ....and your fears too.My opinion is that a surgery like this involves a great amount of sentimental insecurity...Discuss every feeling either positive or negative with your friends/family and try to imagine the "bright sight of the moon".Wishing you the best for your surgery.

Sorry about that yesterday. I feel much better today, thank God. I was already feeling down, and then my fish died. After that I had a fall and hit half my body against a brick wall, I am bruised and scraped from head to toe. I tried talking to my husband because I was having such a hard time, he is just so callous. He told me that he doesn't want to hear about the surgery and he can't understand why I feel this way since it is so routine. So from now on I will save my emotions for the sisters on here who understand. Thanks again.