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When will they get it.........
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09-26-2009, 10:40 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: September 4th, 2009
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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When will they get it.........
This is Shenanigans, I am 3 weeks out today from surgery, yeah. However, just because I am so sick of sitting around in the house and feel like going outside once in a while, all my neighbors (church, PTA, friends) assume that all is well and that I am fully recovered. I am getting phone calls and people stopping to visit and just because my hair is combed and maybe I have gotten out of P.j.'s and gone to sweats, they think I've made a full recovery. To be very honest, I'm not ready and no one seems to understand! I have even sent emails to them and told them that I will get with them when I"M READY. The complete fatigue and pain these responsiblities put upon me is incredible. I wish they would all BACK OFF. How do I politely respond to their demands?
Fed up with the lack of compassion I feel like I'm not worth anything and that their needs are more importand than my own! Not to mention that I am on the emotional rollercoaster still. Please Help!
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09-26-2009, 11:22 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 141
Hysterectomy: September 9th, 2009
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: When will they get it.........
Shenanigans-
My heart just went out to you. You are still in the early stages of healing and you need your rest and peace and quiet. And yes, you are and your needs and wishes are worthy of being respected!
It sounds like you've communicated with them pretty well. Maybe you can write them all another email telling them how much they all mean to you and that while you enjoy spending time with them, right now you are not up to it and need to spend time healing. You need your rest so you can recover well and that you appreciate their understanding. Also you will not be able to answer phone calls or have guests at this time. Then DO NOT pick up your phone or answer your door in case some of them still might not get the message.
What's important here is YOU, not them! You need to take care of yourself and right now you come first! Remember the wise words of our sisters here: *You only have one chance to heal right!*
I'm 2.5 weeks from my surgery and I know that I am not in the condition or frame of mind to *entertain* others.
Sending you a
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09-26-2009, 11:31 AM
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Posts: 15,188
Hysterectomy: September 20th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: When will they get it.........
Hi! Drastic times call for drastic measures.
First off, get out of the sweats and back into your pajamas. I'm serious about that!
Second, screen your phone calls. Ask a dear friend or relative to come in once every day or two to return calls for you, sending your regrets for all of the meetings you have no ability to attend right now. Call back a few people to come and visit if you want. I am like you... I wasn't really up to visitors at first. You're under no obligation to see everyone.
Third, put a sign on your front door saying something like, "Thanks for stopping. As you know, I'm resting and recuperating, and only those visitors who have made prior arrangements with me can be seen at this time. Thank you for respecting my need to get as much rest as possible. I look forward to seeing you in the near future." Then, don't answer the door unless it's the Fed Ex guy, the people from the Publisher's Clearinghouse bringing your big check or someone who has already called and you're expecting their visit.
You are a and should be treated accordingly!
Hope this helps.
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09-26-2009, 11:45 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 3,711
Hysterectomy: November 4th, 2008
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: When will they get it.........
Yep, as soon as I was out of my pj's everyone thought I was all better. I would stay in the pj's myself. I think a lot of people don't have a clue what we are going through unless they have been through it themselves.
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09-26-2009, 11:53 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,737
Hysterectomy: August 14th, 2009
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: When will they get it.........
Can't add much more than these wonderful ladies have already said.
I do understand that, when we "look good" to the world, then they think we are all better! I try to stay in my jammies as much as I can. My neighbors do visit and one invited me to a baseball game but remembered that she had just seen me in my nightgown and said, "I know you are still recovering..." So, I didn't feel too bad turning her down.
Hang in there and don't let yourself feel guilty about still needing recovery time. You need it!
Best wishes.
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09-26-2009, 07:18 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 6
Hysterectomy: August 13th, 2009
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: When will they get it.........
I'm going through something similiar here
Can you rig your doorbell a la Ferris Bueller?
Meagan
SAH 8/13
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09-26-2009, 07:39 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 225
Hysterectomy: September 17th, 2009
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Undecided
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Re: When will they get it.........
HA. I am only a little over a week post op and I just brazenly let my lovely neighbors see me in my jammies. They have been wonderful. Good for short visits, no demands, no expectations. I keep trying to venture out to walk my dog. Usually I end up calling for back up, but I keep trying 5 minutes at a time. IN MY JAMMIES. When I am ready to do stuff for them, I will do it.
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09-26-2009, 08:17 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: September 4th, 2009
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: When will they get it.........
This is shenanigans again, What would I do with out all of you wonderful sisters ? Thank you for taking the time to respond to this thread . All of you are giving me the courage I need to stay strong.
Tears of joy, hugs and kisses
p.s. My neighbor informed me just this evening that she has had 3 c-sections and returned to all normal functions by 7 days. I should be able to bounce right back, after all, I don't have a baby to take care of post-op. I feel like I should present her to a counsel somewhere and give her an award. Where can I do this?
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09-26-2009, 08:20 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: September 4th, 2009
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: When will they get it.........
Tigergem, You won't be held accountable for the P.J. incident trust me, you should have seen some of my "lovely recovery days" I truely think that we receive the benefit of the doubt. We will look back and laugh at this some day, Right? xoxo
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09-26-2009, 09:17 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 6
Hysterectomy: August 13th, 2009
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: When will they get it.........
Oh good lord...I had 2 c-sections, and have had my gall bladder removed and a lumpectomy, and this hysterectomy...hardest recovery yet. How can she compare? It's totally different when you have your uterus removed and there's nothing there to support everything!
Meagan
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