Wretched pre-op appointment today

OK... First, let me preface this post by saying I am a TAD bit of a control freak. And I understate things A LOT!

I was originally scheduled for my pre-op appt on Tuesday, the 25th. I went in for the appointment, waited about an hour, finally got called in and spoke with the nurse for a few minutes - and then she left and had me strip. I am buck naked when she knocks and says, "Dr has to run up to the hospital for an emergency. Can we just do this on Thursday when you are coming back for your pelvic?" -- You see, I had seen the doctor the week before and she wanted me back for a pre-op this week and a pelvic.

Sure, I say - trying to be nice. Is there anything else I need to do? Nope - all is good and we are right on schedule for your surgery 8/1.

Now, I had asked at my appt the week before if I needed to be concerned about my MRI results and she said no (there was a 3 cm lymph node in the iliac chain and a "mass/cyst" on my ovary) that nothing was remarkable.

Today at my pre-op appointment, after spending an hour getting all my lab work done and filling out heaven only knows how much paperwork about me, she comes into the room and hands me.....a business card of a gynecological oncologist.

HELLO???

Seems that she and her business partner, who will be doing the surgery together, were discussing my case and now think that I should get a consultation from the oncologist on this lymph node and that it is "curious".

Curious.... small children are curious. Puppies are curious. Unexplained masses in lymph nodes that are apparently where lymph nodes do not belong are not curious - they are distressing. My GYN gives me the card and wants me to call and told me to plan on NOT having my surgery on 8/1 - because they probably could not coordinate it -- and oh by the way, she only operates on Tuesdays AND she is going on vacation in August. AGAIN, info she could have told me earlier in the week - or last week!

I called the Oncologist she referred me to - and the one they referred me to. All of them want to know why I am calling and not her - I call her office to tell her and I get, "I am sorry, she has left to pick up her daughter. It will have to wait until tomorrow." My rational mind knows she is human and has a life and I need to respect that. My irrational, hormone driven, stressed out self wants to scream SHE WRECKED MY LIFE AND SHE CAN HELP ME FIX IT - GET HER NOW! I have not quieted the little wretched monster yet. I am planning on typing up the info I found out and sending it over -- and demanding some help resolving ASAP.

I sometimes feel my life is a bad episode of some TV show... Nothing quality like Grey's Anatomy...

And sometimes, I just feel crappy about how its happening...

I called DH and talked to him -and he shocked me by being so amazingly supportive, I couldn't breathe.

I called my best friend and can I say, God knew what he was doing when he gave me her -- always in my corner and always, always says the right thing.

And then I called my sister (4.5 yrs older than me) - its her and I against the world -- and we live 2000 miles apart and neither of us is in a position to travel to the other much. We are as different as could be. But I needed somebody who loves me for me - not because I married their son or brother or friend and we are sisters - womb to tomb. I sobbed so hard. And then she said, "You are giving up and assuming the worst. I am sorry this is happening to you but you need to stop that." What a good sister! I needed the verbal reassurance and the unconditional love - it provided a lot of strength. And a reminder that I am my mother's daughter- strong and stubborn and in this case, that can only be a good thing. My mom died 11 years ago from Cancer - reproductive cancer.

And I am feeling sorry for myself. Time to snap out of it! Reality - I always knew cancer was a possibility so I just need to release control of my life until we can find out what it is - and if that means disrupting everyone else's schedule for me to have the care I need, then bring it on - I never, EVER put myself first and its time.

But when this is all over, I swear -- a nervous breakdown will be seriously in order.

Thanks for letting me vent. I will post more when I have an update!

Whew! I know that 'if I can just purge all I'm feeling, I'll feel better' vibe that is coming across in your post. Do you feel better? I ask because I know I didn't when I thought I should but eventually I had verbally purged enough that I could finally focus.

Let mw ask you this...until these last 10 days, have you had a good relationship with your GYN? Is this something new in her behavior or has she always been a bit of a flake and its just magnified by your current needs? I ask because, while either way I see your pain, I think if its the former I still would probably be looking for a new Dr, or its the latter I definately would.

I don't think I would want someone doing my surgery that is as unavailable as she seems to be. I also don't think I would want that person to be someone I am now upset with.

Maybe you should try to see this all as a hidden blessing. Her flaws being revealed. And if you need an Oncologist, I would probably be doing a bit of my own research and not just seeing how she thinks I should see. Or atleast I would have concerns.

Good luck to you. One of the great things about these boards is someone is always on.

Julie

((( Cris ))), that would have thrown me for a loop too
But, it sounds like you're surrounded by people who care and will be there for you - no matter what.
Instead of being upset that your dr wants you to see a specialist, maybe be grateful that she's being cautious about your situation. I know that it's upsetting to hear it at the last minute but a specialist should be worth the extra time - you're worth it for sure

I'll be praying that you get good news from now on and everything will go well for you.

s

why is it that we let the medical profession dictate our life? yes, they do great things for the sick and diseased...but would we put up with delays, and upset schedules, and hours of long waiting from any other professional...for instance auto mechanics, computer techs., and they work on things that really can be replaced and the doctors work on something that is irreplaceable.....our bodies and our peace of mind...why do we allow it? i am so guilty of this and i figure that in a way we feel trap by their intellegence....or not it's a mystery to me....
Goodluck and hugs, but if i were you i would consult the oncologist and a new gyn!

Hi Cris,

I have to agree with Julie and Berry42. Maybe it is a good time to check out a 2nd opinion.

Your story sounds somewhat like my experience with my 1st Dr. She too was going on vacation (to Mexico with her DD) and she made a joke that she did not want to do any surgeries too close to returning from her vacation because she was going to party!! Of course my surgery was planned for right when she got back. Wow...my confidence level in her dropped!! I was looking at major surgery (she wanted to do a TAH) - my 1st surgery EVER - and she is making jokes. Whew...she was so off.

That being said, I just did not get that my 1st Dr. was "emotionally" there for me. A hyst is MAJOR surgery and in my opinion, a Dr. needs to be there physically, emotionally and mentally for us because It can sometimes be a very difficult time dealing with an impending hyst.

It sounds like your Dr. has done so many hysts that she may have lost touch with the fact that this is your FIRST experience dealing with a situation like this. I think you have the right to have it all planned out. Any detours (even another Dr. on your case) ~could~ have been worked out earlier than this. Just my thoughts.

So...hang in there. Just remember...Drs give us options and we make the final decision on what to do. The power is with you!!

Best wishes,

Mary

((((Cris))))) - First of all I would say you are not being a control freak. I think you are expecting nothing less than what is due you!!
1) You are near Portland,OR I see which has major medical services available. I would definately shop around for a new DR. - one that is a little more attentive and on the ball to your needs. If you want to come to Spokane - where I am - my Dr. was/is absolutely wonderful! =)
2) You are so in the right place because there is so much support here, and in reading your posts and the ones in response to it I am reminded of what an incredible group of ladies visits here!
3) Expect nothing less from your medical care than someone to call you with information immediately; keep your appointments; be as concerned about removing "foreign enemies" from your body as you are - you are entitled to it.
4) Breathe. What you are going through is so overwhelming, and it is kind of a grieving process in a way as your mind processes it. Sounds like you are hanging in there pretty good and ready to kick some booty.
Keep us posted - we are all here for you - and we will even line up for a verbal booty kicking if needed. =) xoxoxoxo
M.
tah 04/04/06 adenocarcinoma in cervix, cervix and uterus removed

Oh geez,I'm so sorry this happened to you.Maybe you should seek out another doctor,they should not have waited until today to drop this on you.Your health and surgery is what's most important!!! No question about it.So be proactive,get out there and push for what you want and need.We're here for you,thought's and prayer's your way.

Thank you to everyone. You are all such awesome women. The nerve and backbone bank is officially refilled.

The honkerblonker of the whole sitch is that this doc WAS the 2nd opinion -first doc (who has been gyn for 10+years) would not even discuss a hyst with me. He felt I did not need it. She agrees I need it, was already to go and now we have a flag on the play.

I had an appt with my internist this morning (who monitors my diabetes) and I had a meltdown in her office. She was kind, compassionate and sympathetic -- and called the OB/GYN's office to kick butt on my behalf.

Now, I am no closer to having any answers, but at least I feel like I have someone on my side who is able to meet the GYN on a peer to peer level.

I am pretty sure the surgery will not happen on Tuesday and the little control freak in me knows that its time to go dormant and "Let go and let God" take over. My friends (both cyber and flesh) have been awesome and I am eternally grateful.

I will keep you all posted and hope to just be able to enjoy the weekend. I hope all of you will as well.

CANative-It will be hard to relax and have a good weekend, I am sure! I know from the "cruise" thread that you have put preparations into this!! If nothing else, I think if there is something cancerous, you will be most grateful to have the oncologist at your side! Coordination IS a pain! I had a colon surgeon as well as the gyn surgeon, and they had different opinions on my aftercare even! You mention the control freak part of you. Yes, you have to give yourself up to others, to knowing how things will turn out, etc., but you have every right to continue to seek answers, question happenings and such, and I don't think that makes you controlling, but smart!! Best wishes! Keep us informed!!