Scared !

After numerous cone biopsies over 12 years (CIN3) my surgery is booked for the 9th Jan. I feel so negative about the whole thing- I feel like my surgeon is bullying me and my enemy....that's the 'control freak' within I guess. I am overly-protective of my uterus and body....all my fears are laughed off. ""you''ll keep the important bits'' he informed me.
Really need someone to talk to.
Need to find a good place to approach this from. No problems other than my diagnosis of 'disease'.
Please helpX

Welcome! You'll find many wonderful women here who will be able to lend support to you no matter what!

If you're not comfortable with your Dr, can you get a second opinion or meet with another Dr? It's a shame that he is making you feel bullied or pushed into this.

I agree that a second opinion is a good idea, especially as you don't feel comfortable with your dr. Please take the time you need to get your questions answered and be as sure of your decisions as possible. You're worth it

S

wow. I would most definitely seek a second opinion if you feel that way. Even if you really do need it, you need to be certain going in as it could color your whole experience! Please consider going to another doctor and getting another opinion.

Thanks for your replies. I think that I am feeling very scared and confused at the moment and this fear is making me feel that its the Doctors ''fault'' somehow that I need this operation. Can any of you tell me how ''different'' things feel after the op? I know thats a broad question but I'd love to hear some personal experiences so I can begin to accept that I will be having the op and begin to make a plan about how to deal with it all.
Thankyou.

Hi Raggy,
I had my surgery on December 14, 2006. All in all, things went very smoothly. Aside from having to be more careful lifting, and limitations on exercise, at this time I basically do not feel any different than I did preop.
I strongly feel that you should ask more questions, have more interviews/appointments with your doctor/surgeon. As others have suggested, get a second opinion. I did this - my first surgeon seemed a little arrogant. He acted as if there was no doubt that everything would go smoothly. I did not feel like he was really talking to ME. He was planning on taking out my large uterus (fibroids, 16 wk size) via the laparoscope. I sought out another opinion - this surgeon, while confident, was very realistic, took time to talk to me as an intelligent person. He made me feel like I could trust him with my body and health. He felt strongly that an abdominal incision was in my best interest (shorter surgery time, better visualization). I decided to go with the second doctor. After I made this very informed decision, my anxiety resolved.
Physicians are generally not put off by their patients seeking second opinions. I have even been told to be cautious if they are defensive if you seek a second opinion. Good luck.
Shad

Thankyou shad. I have an appointment on the 3rd to discuss everything and do all the pre-op bloods and so forth. I have the problem of living in rural australia, this means I have to travel to my nearest City (quite a trek)to see the visiting gyn/onc specialist surgeon who is from another state. A second opinion is not really an option unless I get on a plane, even then I will probably end up referred back to the same specialist! I find I get really tongue tied when I go in. I make lists of things I intend to ask but its always so rushed.
Got my (last) period today and that is kind of weird. Probably added to my flat mood the last few days.
A friend said she didn't feel much different either surgery. I imagined I might feel an ''empty'' sort of feeling where the womb once was, silly really I suppose.
Could you walk about soon after surgery? How long before you went home? Have you driven yet? So many questions, sorry.
raggy

I had a complete hysterectomy Oct 16, at 8 am, was out of surgery and in recovery at 11 am. I was up walking around at 7pm. I went home the next day before noon. Was eating lunch at home at 1pm. Dr. notes said No Driving for 4 weeks...BUT.. every person is different and heals at different rates. Every doctor is different and they all tell us different instructions to follow. Perhaps it would be wise to write down all your questions so you will have a list to ask your doctor when you see him again. Many women go through a mourning period after losing their wombs, its perfectly normal to go though that. Just know that you are not alone in any of your feelings or fears. All the women on this site have been there and many know exactly how you are feeling. We are here for you. I wish you the very best.

Hi moonflower221, Thanks for your reply. I am glad I am not alone in my fears, I felt like I was going slightly crazy worrying about this ''fist sized'' part of my body being removed! It feels strange knowing that I am about to put my body through this. I know I should be preparing my body to heal but I am going the other way and planning a flat out new year and trying to ignore the subject. I feel very sorry for myself at the moment:-(. Hard to talk to my Husband and I worry that I won't feel right after...I mean in bed.
My daughters are coming up to adolescence and I feel very old and tired, like I don't want to deal with this grown up ""X-Directory'' stuff at 34. I always imagined I would have another child and I feel sad giving up on that. Thanks for listening.
Raggy

Hi Raggy,
You asked how soon after surgery I could walk: I got out of bed and walked about 20 hours after surgery. Not that I really "wanted" to, but advice on this website had indicated it was in my best interest. I made sure I was "loaded" on recent doses of pain meds and went for a sort walk (with nurse assistance and a pillow held against my lower abdomen). It was not too bad. I walked every 2 hours or so, and each one got progressively easier and less uncomfortable.
I went home from the hospital about 48 hours after surgery. I would have liked to go home about 14 hours earlier. I felt like the last night in the hospital was not really necessary for me (realizing that each of us will differ in what we had done, etc). After the surgery, my "insides" did not really feel any different. Even though my large uterus was removed, I don't sense a void or emptiness.
I agree with writing down your questions for the surgeon - I did this, and it really helped. I would ask about possible problems during surgery (and how often these problems are encountered), problems during the immediate post op period (and how often these problems are encountered), and problems during the first weeks post op (and how often these problems are encountered). Ask specifically about complications THIS surgeon has encountered, how often they occur - I think you will find that complications are not the norm, but sometimes do happen. Have faith that things will probably go well, be grateful to have access to good medical care.
Shad
52 years old, SCAH, BSO, fibroids that would win the county fair!