LAVH: anyone else feeling alone/withdrawing?

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Originally Posted by AlaskaNurse I know how you feel. I go to work every day and put on a show for the patients I see. Then I come home to a house full of cats (my furry support system) and sulk because my husband left me 3 weeks before my surgery to go to Colorado because his friend needed him to help him with his plumbing. Never mind that his wife just got a diagnosis of cervical cancer and is going crazy trying to get the lodge ready to open up again before my surgery and will be picking him up at midnight before my surgery the next day. So I'm really not feeling like being around anyone except my cats. I drag myself out of bed and to work and that's it. Dinner was a poptart and milk tonight because I don't want to be bothered to cook. If it wasn't for being able to read posts here and feel that there were women here who understand, I think I'd just curl up in a little ball and fade away until the day I have to drive 3 1/2 hours to Anchorage and pick up my husband from the airport and go to the hospital for surgery.....sigh...so yes, I understand...

Good luck with everything. Sounds like u r going thru a hard time. Maybe u should have friends & family around to support you through this. You sound like a strong person. Remember to take care of yourself!

Hey Pb..I totally understand that feeling!
Hubby was to come to pre-op with me, which was a step in the right direction as I often feel as if he's not supporting me..so was really pleased that he said he would come. then 30 mins before I left yesterday, he called to say work needed him and he couldn't get away ...so I went by myself..and never felt so alone in my life.
He did promise that he booked 3 days off next week when I have surgery, so it's better than nothing I guess...but now I feel a little "distrustful"...and have a wait and see attitude.

He's trying...but it's not easy for him or the kids to really "get it"...until they see me in the hospital bed, I have a feeling...

I don't know where I was when the bomb went off in my house...I just got home from work, and I'm so discouraged. I just started my LAST period and all I want to do is sit with a heating pad and take a nap.

My DH won't be able to help me at all today...he's putting in a 12 hour day and I wouldn't expect him to be all over the housework. He'll be exhausted too!

My biggest fear is that a bunch of people will offer to help and not follow through. I'm surrounded by my husband's family (5 family members live on the same stretch of road in a 1/2 mile) but I know I won't hear from any of them, let alone get help. I think my best bet is to prepare to handle this on my own, and if someone shows up, then great,but I don't want to set myself up for a huge disappointment.

*sigh*

Surgery tomorrow for me and Sunday I passed around an assignment sheet of who was in charge of dinners, helping at the hospital etc. Maybe it was gutsy of me ( bad term to use today as I am going through the bowel cleanse) but they all accepted or made arrangements to trade off. Try it. It might surprise you that they are willing to do it if you ask them. Most people will come through if you personnaly ask. If they are your DH's family, have him pass around the assignments. Just act like you expect them to want to help. I only had one family member say they couldn't help and that was because they were out of town that week.

I understand totally... I find that my friends that I thought would be there for me were not and some I thought wouldn't have been trying to keep in contact. But, for sure no one is offering to help much. We are givers and we would take food or help with house work if it was the other way around... it is what I expected from my best friend too. But I guess I have to change my expectations, no everyone is like me! It has been a good lesson on me letting go of what I do for everyone else and not myself!!! My DH and DD have been trying to help but now that I am 5 weeks post op they are getting tired of doing stuff....I get the long "sigh" and I know they think I should be doing more.
But it's time for me to heal and be selfish right now and I must learn to LET GO of expectations.
It is a very hard lesson which has brought many tears and anger.... we must be gentle with ourselves and know that we are not alone... Thank God for this site and all the support for each other!!!!! HUGS

Good luck with your surgery tomorrow caraab! It was good that you made an assignment sheet. Sometimes you just have to tell everyone what to do. Otherwise, they seem clueless. My teenage son does better when I write a list sometimes! I was lucky my hubby helped & my sons also. They even cooked a big Easter dinner & cleaned the next day! God Bless!

caraab my dear! Good luck tomorrow with surgery..nothing but positive thoughts, hon!

see you on the other side! take care ((hugs))

Hi
I do kind of know how you are feeling. I too, am feeling alone, and a little strange, like something is different and wrong with me. But for me it might be my hormones or lack of (had both ovaries removed). For you, it could be due to hormone changes, too. We will get through this together. Promise.

Good Luck on your surgery! I am sure you will do just fine I do have to say that even after my bowel cleanse the day before surgery, I felt like I still had more inside me the morning of surgery. So I apologized in advance to the surgical team for the possible "accidents" that were possibly coming. LOL

Just heard from the Dr. that they have changed the time of my surgery tomorrow. They have moved it up and the scheduler said that they had squeezed a little out patient surgery between the two big ones. I guess I am one of the big ones. Not much of a change in my plans but every little thing just adds drama. Would sure love a cheeseburger about now. lol My son-in-law called today just to check on how I was doing and told me to call him if I needed anything.(he works from home) Little things like a phone call really make you appreciate others. Wish the hours would pass by faster. Getting more nervous and hungry by the minute. Thanks for everyone's good wishes. I really am going to be a better friend after this. I have learned how important that really is. I think all of us now realize that we need to be there for others.