Waah!

Just got my date. Am worried sick about my four month old. How will I take care of her after DH goes back to work? DH seems to think this whole thing is not that big of a deal. Having trouble finding much info about LAVH. Have hideous swelly belly already, pre-op. Let's see, what else can I cry about? ; )
Can any of you sisters tell me about your experience with LAVH?

Hi

It sounds to me like you had better get your dh in to have a serious discussion with your I don't know how much your baby weighs, but surely it's more than the 10 lbs most of us are restricted to for SIX WEEKS. Serious damage can be done if you don't follow the instructions of your doctor. I don't know, but I believe that you are going to need help with your child for a few weeks. Please discuss this with your doctor in time to make arrangments for help.

Good luck!

What is it with some DH's and blowing off major surgery? Mine is doing the same thing. He told me yesterday that I will be fine in about a week, that it will be about the same as when I had my DNC!!! I almost flipped out. I have tried talking to him, but apparently he is not even listening. I don't have any more appts. before I go in on the 23rd, all I have is the pre-op this Thursday, and I don't talk to my doctor. I also have children to worry about after my DH goes back to work. Mine are a little more independent though because they are 3 and 4. I can actually get them to help me out a little bit. Try printing some stuff out and leave them on the table. This won't work for me bacause he would scan the paper and see what he was reading and he would toss it back down. I think he just doesn't want to know what he is faced with. I hope your DH is a little more understanding than mine.
Good luck sister.

Abby

Even though LAVH is considered "easier" than TAH, the only real difference is that you won't have an incision. You are still going to have organs removed, there will be ligaments that have to be reattached someplace else and they have to have a chance to heal in place properly to avoid other problems.

Please have a talk with your DR so you can find out exactly what he feels your lifting limits will be, and for how long. And if your DH won't go to apts with you have your DR write out your restrictions so your DH will understand that this is a big deal.

There are things that you will be able to do to care for your baby. Place a pad covered with a blanket on the floor. The baby can play there, you can change her diaper there, cuddle her by lying next to her, feed her there, and she can take naps. But picking her up to put her in a crib, etc may not be allowed for a few weeks.

Even though you may not be able to do the actual lifting, if someone hands her to you while you are seated you should be able to feed her, rock her, etc. Just make sure to have a pillow across your abdomen, both to protect your tender tummy, and also to help support the baby.

Best wishes.

Abby - at your pre op you may get some info on restrictions for after surgery. Maybe it will help.

And to both of you - hopefully after surgery your DH's will realize what you have actually been through and will understand that you need time to heal.

I think some men handle their fears this way. My DH is not supportive of me either, though I'm not surprised. He was the same when I had my gallbladder out and when I went back to school after we were married for 15 years. As a rule he usually comes around after I don't need his support anymore. I have learned over the last 28 years to not expect anything from him so I'm not disappointed. I have come to rely on only myself. I'm not bitter I just know my husband can't deal with certain issues and I accept that.

Thanks for all the good replies. The suggestion about the blanket on the floor with the baby is definitely something I will do. MLWEEMAN, thank God for your common sense advice. She's a big 15 pounder who flops like a fish out of water when you pick her up. No way can I do it! My DH is very good in some ways, not so good in others. Unfortunately, this is one of the not so good times. I tried to show him the brochure about LAVH and he said he couldn't read it because it "made him feel sick". These were only line drawings! Not even in color! I said "so you'll just bring me home from the hospital, not even knowing what was done?" He said "yeah". Hopeless!