How should I feel about surgery at 19?

I am so confused about what I should be feeling right now. I am only 19 in desperate of a hysterectomy, bleeding for 10 months straight, severe pain so bad I almost flunked out of college, I can't eat because increasing pressure in my abdomen at all causes me even more severe pain. I've been on 9 BCP and had Mirena inserted (bad reaction to that and it was out in 5 months). I'm also experiencing major anxiety attacks and can't sleep. Nothing helps. The problem is no surgeon wants to touch me. They all think I am too young to know what I want in terms of kids (i know we aren't supposed to discuss kids on here but I don't have any yet and can't have them regardless of the hysterectomy or not, I have a bleeding disorder so pregnancy or delivery could kill me) I feel way too calm about having major surgery- my biggest concern is if it will slow down my expected graduation date from college. I have 1.5 years left before i start my masters. Should I be really freaked out about this? Am I being mature or completely childish about this? My mom had a hysterectomy at 31 after having severe pain and bleeding after her second child. I love her but we can't talk about this because she won't listen to me. She thinks this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Maybe it is.. Am i crazy? Do i need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist?

wickedinoz

I have to say that at 19 I knew I didn't want any children, at 43 i still know that and have never wavered. If you know that you don't want children and have come to terms with this particularly as it is health issue then your doctor and your mother should listen to you. At 19 you are old enough to fight and die for your country in the armed services, the police, fire or ambulance services. They would all have to agree with that.
Your quality of life is at stake here as well as your health and that has to be a priority too.

If you know that you want this, then why not sit and right down a pro and con list and then ask on her if there is a doctor in your area who can be recommended that may listen to you.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything works out well for you.

I do not think you are being childish, it may be a good idea to speak to someone about this though, at least you can then tell your mother, doctor that you have done that and you have not changed your mind.

Hugs to you. xx

You are not being childish at all. I'm sure your mom has had her own challenges after her surgery. You have to be sure you are ready to face the hormonal consequences of the surgery at your age. If they are able to keep your ovaries, that will help. If not, it can be very challenging as a young woman. I am 26 and did not choose this - it was an emergency action to stop bleeding after childbirth. I would not have chosen to live like this if I had been able to make the choice on my own (just being honest). Not having ovaries at a young age is very difficult. You need to make your decision after educating yourself on what type of surgery you can have, what will be removed, what you want removed, and what the possible outcomes can be. Also make sure you ask about your bleeding disorder and how that might affect the surgery and/or your recovery. If you have already considered these things, that's great and you should move forward to do what is best for you. If you have any questions, please ask. We are here for you!

@capturingiggy
My mom did have a lot of complications after her surgery, she and I both have a clotting and bleeding disorder (hooray for genetics). She had a PE and many other blood clots throughout her body. Honestly she should be dead. She was on blood thinners for months and in pain for longer. She has been so supportive through all of this until I started to seriously consider this surgery. I don't want to worry her, but I don't know how not to. I should get to keep my ovaries unless the cysts are worse than can be seen on an ultrasound. I can't actually get a surgeon to talk to me about this. They keep passing me off to other physicians hoping for a miracle. I'm no longer hoping for a miracle, I just want relief. I don't sleep anymore. I can't eat, I've lost so much weight I'm on a force-feed diet basically. What is the minimum time I need to recover? Am i going to have to take a semester off to do this surgery??