1 week down & counting!

Hi all!

Well today marks my "1 week surgery-versy" and all in all i am doing ok. I had a couple of good energetic mornings, followed by overwhelming exhaustion in the afternoons from nothing more than shuffling around my house. I had a TAH with an unexpected left ovary removal as my uterus was so huge it had crushed it beyond repair. My right ovary is still intact, however that one was reconstructed during a dermoid cyst operation 20yrs back. A couple of questions for the experienced: i know my 1 ovary may be asleep or never wake up - but how will I know if it does. DR says we can run some tests later but I should 1st concentrate on recovery b4 going into all that. I am 41 and I was peri-menopausal - however I have this overwhelming fear of not being able to get back to a "sexual" state. My partner is very very patient and has not even brought it up, however she is younger than i (34) and in her "prime" Also how do I know if I am in "surgical" menopause? Are there signs? I am feeling a bit emotional and have had 1 or 2 cry outbursts (not me at all) Also every now and than I break out in sweats, but I live in FL (todays high 91 F) and it's freakin' hot right now now so I can't determine if it's the weather or I am being paranoid!
Another question - I got my staples removed yesterday - I had a vertical incision and I am noticing my belly hanging almost jiggling when I walk. Is that normal? I know I am swollen and I just ordered the swelly belly band but will my belly return to normal state? My uterus was huge (6lbs) and distorted from the fibroids, and made me look pregnant. So I can't tell u the overwhelming urge i have to start doing situps! But of course I know I am a long well off. Okay that's it for me now - again all your responses are sooooo greatly appreciated ! This site and all the sisters that write to it have been so helpful and I thank god everyday that someone had the spark and insite for this much needed forum!

Hi Dominique,

My surgery (LAVH/BSO)was May 1. This site has been my life saver! I'm 43 and so afraid I'm going to become some crazy, childless cat lady. I'm married, chose all my life to not have children and now have been a nut about the decisions I've made in my life. I have a wonderful marriage and a very successful career. My husband has been wonderful. We talked about the kid issue when I first found out I needed the surgery, about 4 months ago. He's younger than me and I now have this crushing guilt that I'm somehow cheating him out of a happy future. Let me say though that he married me knowing that I didn't want kids, it was my second marriage (I was 36 at the time) and he's completely fine with that still. It's just all this self created guilt I keep making in my head!

My point is, I think there is a lot of emotional instability tied into this type of surgery.

Like you, I'm wondering what my "sexual state" will be when my 6 week recovery period is over. Every couple days I go through about 1 or 2 mood swings. My dr. said to continue taking my BC pills after the surgery. He said they are now just HRT instead of BC. I'm going to talk to him about this tomorrow (my 1st post op visit). But, I think a lot of the "sexual state" will simply be controlled by my personal view of my body image, frame of mind and overall health at that time. I keep telling myself that as long as my hormone levels can be kept in check, I truly believe my desire for my husband will be back to where it was. Again, I'm just unnerved by all this emotional baggage I didn't expect. It's almost like the hysterectomy has made me feel old and at that "mid-life crisis-what's my purpose in life?" crossroad.

Like you, I've only had a a couple emotional outbursts of crying. But, I need to keep reminding myself that I've just gone through MAJOR surgery! We are still feeling the effects of the anesthesia and other drugs they put in our bodies. I work in a hospital so I know this can take months to clear up. My mother-in-law told me that I shouldn't expect to feel fully like myself until Halloween. That will be the 6 month mark and the time it truly takes for all the internal healing to occur. She had a TAH a couple years ago and remembers her experience very clearly.

Hang in there! The night sweats can be a side effect. I get them and just try to monitor it. I was also peri-menopausal when I went into surgery so the night sweats are not new.

Please know that I'm here thinking about you and wishing you a speedy recovery.

Take care!
Laura

Hi Laura

Thanks so much for your reply ~ as I sit and read this, my eyes well up from knowing "I'm not the only one!"
I too keep reminding myself its only been 1 week and know all the effects of drugs and anesthesia are still creeping around my body.
I am now doing a bit of research on HRT and alternatives as I am not fond of pill popping nor man-made drugs, as their are always unexpected side effects.
Yes, you are right on the onset of this emotional rollercoaster - I myself never wanted children and suddenly I keep feeling I missed out somehow just because my option to physically have one is gone. "go figure!"
Anyway my good thoughts go to you too and keep me posted of your recovery as I will do the same being we have such close surgery dates.

Stay well,
Dominique

Hi,
You said it perfectly when you said you feel like you've missed out on something just because the option has been taken away. That's exactly how I feel. It's a crazy feeling and it keeps circulating through my head. I need to stop creating problems that aren't there! Otherwise, there will be problems!

I am going to research natural options for HRT as well. I hate taking pills, but was terrified of waking up in full blown menopause! I needed the security of easing into something natural.

Unlike FL, it's a balmy 56 degrees here in Michigan!

Take care of yourself and allow your healing to continue!
Laura

Let's compare notes on what you find on the alternatives to HRT - and yes just keep good thoughts to gain faster recovery. Negativity, regrets, "what could have beens" are all humps in our road to recovery. Though they hard hard to stop creeping in i keep re-affirming that this is better that the painful periods and pressure i was experiencing before. Plus I guess if we really want children at this point, the option to adopt is always available.

Changing topics - 56 degrees - wow - I would settle for a breezy 75 right now.

Take care!
Dominique

Hi,

I have found tons of great HRT info on the Hyster Sister site. My challenge is to go off the meds and start down the "trial & error" path of finding what will work.

Your comments about negativity & regrets made me feel sooooo much better. You are so right! I keep reminding myself an hour with my 17 month old nephew always cures my baby guilt. A baby at 43 is ok, but a 17 year old when I'm 60???? My doc's advice was very good. He said "if you adopted, you most likely will find that a child will not fill this new unexplained void in your life and then what will you do?"

He's very realistic and said that I need to realize that since my husband is not concerned about this issue, it's simply me making a mountain out of it. I really believe you are right that it is more the fact that I can't have a child so now I want what I can't have. I never thought I'd feel like this. I just want my life to get back to normal.

I agree the relief from the pain, pressure and constant periods is wonderful.

Positive thoughts and good wishes for you! Thanks for being a sympathetic shoulder to cry on!

On the bright side, every woman I work with has expressed they had greatly improved quality of life after this surgery! Hurray!

Peace,
Laura

Thank you so much for starting this thread, I too am "celebrating" week one of my recovery. Though I was able to keep my ovaries, I feel more like it is hurricane season and less like a rollercoaster.

I am 33 years old and like others have mentioned I too feel as though I am going through the "grieving process". My husband (PAL) and I went through infertilaty treatments and finally invetro to have one daughter, but were very surprised that a "routine" visit to the OB landed me in the hospital less than a week later with an "immediate/emergecy" need for the surgery.

I am so lucky that I have so many family and friends that have been willing to help. I think that the hardest thing for me at the end of week one is the ability to ASK FOR HELP! Sometimes, I start crying just because I can't vaccum or sweep. I think it may be time to call the cleaning service...infact I think I'll do just that.

Dear young&brave

Please after 1 week, vacuuming and cleaning should be the last thing on your mind - rest, rest, and more rest is what is needed. Take time for yourself to process what you have just gone thru. Call old friends, read, catch up on old movies. The only soreness you should really start feeling is on your thumb from clicking the tv remote! Reach out and dont be afraid to call on anyone that has offered to help you. And definitely call the cleaning service!
Stay well,
Dominique

Hi young&brave!

Let me shout this at you: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP! My mom stayed with me in the hospital for 2 nights. I was fortunate to get a private room with a pull out bed. She and my dad took me home and my mother-in-law arrived about 1 hour later to take over. She stayed for 4 days. My husband was in the middle of a huge work project and his partner was off during my 1st week post op. There was no way he could take time off to care for me. I cried when my mom-in-law got out her suitcase to go home. That was one of my most significant breakdowns! Please don't lift, vacuum, sweep or anything else. You'll do so much damage on the inside such as creating adhesions. Then you'll just end up having to have more surgery in a year or two.

I'm struggling with concentration problems. I work full time and am in an excellerated on-line Master's degree program. Even though I'm off work for one more week, my course started last Sunday and I just can't seem to concentrate on the material. I really need to sit back and not think, but that's just not an option. So, today is my 1st big day to get back into my course.

I found renting HBO shows, like The Sopranos, 6 Feet Under and Sex in the City really keep my mind busy. We don't have HBO so I just start with the first season of a show and my husband keeps picking up more episodes every night. I found I can't concentrate on a whole movie, but these 30 or 60 minute episodes are great! I take a break and watch one or two or I'll do a whole marathon of them.

Don't get fooled into thinking you are better than you are. This site suggested staying in your pj's the entire time you are under lifting, vacuuming restrictions. The pj's remind you that you should still be resting (and it helps remind everyone else!). I found it to be a very effective suggestion.

Good luck!
Laura

Time is such a wonderful healer!
It really, really does get better!
After my staples were taken out..I too, had the jiggly feeling, but it didn't last long.
I'm currently 7 weeks post op, and feel like I never even had the surgery!! I feel completely like before when it comes to sexual urges. I still have sexual dreams (TMI) and get the urge when my hubby touches me in a certain way. I was scared that I would never feel that way again since we stopped having sex way back when I started bleeding heavy about 7 months ago!!! Then after the surgery, I thought I would never feel the same again because of the ugly scar on my belly, but it has faded and I don't really feel it there unless I touch it myself.
Time, it really is all healing. I'm sure you will be fine, just give yourself time to heal first.
Best wishes!!