im so tired..

ACK! I can't wait for the 12th of April it can't come soon enough. Auntie Flo showed up yesterday and I feel as though everything is about to fall out onto the floor. I am soooooo tired of this every 3 weeks I can't take another day! I feel like im in labor. My back/head aches my hip burns and I feel like I'm bleeding to death! Sorry to whine im just exhausted! I hope in May I will be able to end all of this maddness! Another wasted day due to aunt flo god I hate her!!

Not long now.

I was lucky enough to have a few friends who had been through this and they all told me that after the op I would feel like crap for a week or two but it would be worth it in the end. Well at week 6, other than the odd day here and there in between I can say not having a visit from Father Nature (no way is it a woman) has up to now made it all worth while.

I also have a few friends who have gone through this too. They have been very helpfull and supportive as they know how I feel. My mom passed away at 29 I was 6 so I don't have her to talk too (or any mother figure for that matter) my sister has normal periods but suffers with terrible emtional issues with her periods. I often wonder why "I" have to deal with this not that I would wish it on anybody. I wonder if it was from years of infertility drugs and many MC's. Who knows it doesn't really matter. What really matters is me feeling well. I am just having a pitty party today that needs to stop I just feel like crap! I know that we all have to jump through hoops and try this and that as a hysterectomy is a major surgery with risks but I am 37 almost 38 and I can not see living this way until I hit menopuase when ever that will be. 12 more days until my appt I hope to god I don't have to wait months for this to be done with. My Dr is leaving the clinic at the end of April so she will have to refer me to another Dr in the clinic hopefully it will be a short wait to see him/her. I will be asking her to refer me to the Dr who has performed the most hystorectomies and the most skilled to remove endometreosis if I have it (I believe I do). There are 3 female DR's that specialize in endo at the clinic one of them seems to specialize in surgery for it but thats just what I have read from the hospital site. I would like her input as I trust her and value her opinion. Thanks for letting me vent I know all you wonderful ladies can relate.