Hi theresa,
I went through some serious worrying pre-op. Worried that I would die, that they would find something unexpected, etc etc etc... I didn't have any feeling however about any 'loss of femininity', in fact, I plan on buying all new scanty-panties once I'm completely recovered, so I'm already feeling more feminine....
I didn't do bowel prep for this surgery, but did for a different one. Yeah it's yucky. Wear sweat pants and don't stray too far from the flush. But hey, weigh yourself afterward and it will lift your mood.
I haven't had any 'down' days yet, other than my first painful day post op.
My prepping amounted to nesting - getting the household organized, marking the kids' activities on the calendar in case of my untimely demise
I basically wore myself out getting ready.
For me, post op is way better than pre-op. I don't think I've ever been this rested since becoming a mom 8 1/2 years ago.
Good luck to you.