Depressed

Until TriCare approves everything, it's all set for June 7, but I'm depressed. Very depressed. All I want to do is read and eat. I want to hide out from what is going to happen. I know it needs to be done, but I'm afraid. There are so many things that can go wrong, and I just want it all to go away. I sound like a small child. So far I've done okay with controlling the eating, but I've been snapping at my children. May I please go to sleep and wake me up in August sometime?

--RamonaD

I can understand about feeling depressed and wishing to go to sleep and just wake up when it is all over. I spend a great deal of my time crying, I can't even focus to read! lol I am having a very, very hard time handling this so I am going to go talk to a counselor about it and hopefully get some ideas about how to process it all. I don't have any friends who can understand, and I don't dare try to speak to my family about it (who is usually my first source of support when I need it) because they all think I should have done it years ago and its about blankety blank time I let go of the dream of having a baby and just "get it over with." Nice, eh?

Do you have someone you trust you can confide in? A good friend? A sister? A pastor? Maybe go see a counselor or speak to your doc about your depression? I know this place has been a lot of help for me. When I first came here, I couldn't read more than one post before I burst into tears and had to log off. I hope you will find the same comfort here that I have. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me. I understand the depression, I really do.

s

Hey Ramona
There are lots of us here who do understand the depression.
I've been eating non-stop since my lap in Feb. The more I eat, the more guilty I feel.

I am avoiding people alot, which is NOT like me. I'm usually very bubbly and friendly. Now I snap at everyone, so it's easier to avoid people altogether.

We are all here to help you get through this. Just like lost said, maybe you can find someone to speak to about how you're feeling. Even talk to your doc if you think the depression is getting out of control. There is lots that can be done.

Please take care of yourself. If you need to talk, you can use the PM option over on the left under my screen name.


Tam

Y'all are all so wonderful! Thank you for your concern and advice. I seem to be somewhat better this morning. Maybe feeling better will last all day. I actually have a lot to be thankful for. While I am uncomfortable, I am not in constant pain. I have confidence in my dr. DH is being very supportive, and threatening me with annihilation if I don't stay in bed after the surgery. The kids are being helpful, and I've even lost a little weight. And of course, I have all of you!!!!!!

I would imagine that I will be up and down like a yo-yo while waiting for June 7 (the day after D-Day).

Thank you everyone!

--RamonaD

left ovary removed 4/5 for possible dermoid; fibroids, adenomyosis; weird bleeding patterns and clots; lsh hyst scheduled 6/7/04

Good morning Ramona
I'm so glad you're feeling better today!
I go in to the castle on June 14th, so it looks like you and me are going to be permanent residents at hystersisters till June!

I'm the one having a crappy day today. Major pity party happening at my house. I'm sure tomorrow will be better.


Tam

Instead if worrying about what could go wrong (because it's out of your hands anyway), think about what can go right. A turning point, an end to your problems.... It won't be fun, but it will be over and years from now it will just be a thing of the past... Hang in there. It's definitely a roller coaster ride, but the sisters are always there for you.....