crazy emotions and nervous

I am scheduled for May 14th (if insurance comes through) and I find I am getting so nervous not of the surgery (YET) but of the recovery, just worried how it will all work out. We live far from family and are college students and most of our friends here will be moving or gone for the summer. Also I am not sleeping well, just so tired, being tired is hard enough, but taking pain meds and not sleeping is awful, that brings me to my emotions, one minute I want to hurt someone the next I can't stop crying, any advice, wish I could turn it all off for the next two weeks.

I'm right there with you! My emotions are up and down. I find myself yelling at my dh and ds over nothing and crying at the drop of a hat. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back to sleep for hours. If I take a pain pill then my head is too fuzzy to do anything the next day. I can barely work and watch my ds. My family is far away, and I don't have any close friends near me. My husband's sister came down for 1 week to help with childcare, but all she could do was the one week. After surgery it will be just my dh trying to do it all...and he is a grad student.

The only advice I have is to let things go as much as possible. If the house is a mess and the kids don't get a bath every night, it's o.k. This is not the time to be super mom. This is the time to give yourself a little extra grace and understanding. Take care of yourself. Let them take care of you for a change.

I've been giving my dh very specific instructions about what I can and can't do right now. He is used to me doing 100% of the childcare and 80% of the housework. Right now I am so sick that I'm telling him he is responsible for our ds from this time to this time, and giving him the name of our babysitter. I'm simply saying I can not step in and help right now. I plan to stay drugged up and unable to help for at least three or four days after my surgery, too.

It has been a growing experience for me, learning to let my dh help out and be in charge. Things are not being done the way I would do them, and my ds is watching a lot more t.v. than he normally would. But the important thing is that I am resting up for my surgery, and keeping some semblance of mental health. There are times when my dh can't provide me with the emotional support I need b/c he is so busy trying to hold the rest of our lives together. It's then that I come to this sight and read what the sisters have to say. The women on this site are full of compassion and care, and reaching out to them helps.

You will make it through this! It's awesome that you're back in school after having 3 kids! What a great example you are for your children! It's normal to be emotional right now. Let your dh and kids into your experience and seek their support. They'll want to love you through this.

Try to relax. If it is any consolation, you will have time for plenty of rest once you have the surgery so don't worry if you find it hard to sleep now. Once it is all finished you will wonder why you drove yourself so nuts. It is absolutely normal to be worried and anxious...but go ahead and get it over with and get on to the focus of the surgery and healing. God will take care of you. You will do just fine. Good luck!