feeling depressed i need some comfort

im due to have my TAH in two weeks for an enlarged uterus and fibroids and im very depressed not only depressed i feel very weak and tired i feel nauseas my back is killing me my stomach is cramping (no bleeding) and my stomach is swollen i look about 5months pregnant ...my breast are tender im very irritable and im just weak ...i hope i feel better after i recover ...taking care of 3 kids a husband a dog and two cats is not easy...im trying to be strong for everyone ...except when i am alone i break down ...im tired of feeling helpless and tired of pushing myself to do things it takes me hours to clean my house while the kids are in school and by the time im done its time to cook ...im just exhausted but its also my fault im a clean freak ..i know also im mentally stressed worrying about the surgery and revovering...does anyone feel like this or felt like this ? or am i the only one?

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Originally Posted by soprecious34 im due to have my TAH in two weeks for an enlarged uterus and fibroids and im very depressed not only depressed i feel very weak and tired i feel nauseas my back is killing me my stomach is cramping (no bleeding) and my stomach is swollen i look about 5months pregnant ...my breast are tender im very irritable and im just weak ...i hope i feel better after i recover ...taking care of 3 kids a husband a dog and two cats is not easy...im trying to be strong for everyone ...except when i am alone i break down ...im tired of feeling helpless and tired of pushing myself to do things it takes me hours to clean my house while the kids are in school and by the time im done its time to cook ...im just exhausted but its also my fault im a clean freak ..i know also im mentally stressed worrying about the surgery and revovering...does anyone feel like this or felt like this ? or am i the only one?

you have just described me!well minus the cats...
I am exhausted 24/7,have a busy family,all of the same female problems you are having...hang in there things will begin to look better. i have actually just quit driving until after my tah...i get so tired/lightheaded that it was'nt worth me taking a chance. after you have your procedure and start to heal you should see a tremendous difference at least i hope you do...just hang in there a couple of more weeks and this will all be behind you.
you have joined a great forum...the sisters here are awesome.please feel free to ask anything else should you have any other concerns/worry or even if you just want to chat. Bernice

Soprecious. My life improved a million percent already, and I'm still only 2 weeks post op.

Can you get any help with the kids, for your recovery? You really need to take it easy after.

Can you take some time to meditate after the kids go to bed? You need some quality time with yourself, hon.

Take some time to talk with your uterus. Tell her how much you've appreciated all that she has put up with for you. Let her know you love her, and that the both of you are going to be so much better off very soon.

Set up your house so that you can reach things easily when you are recovering. Be sure to buy plenty of easy fixing foods.

How old are the kids? Can you spend some time talking with them about what's coming? I sometimes feel like when I have to be calm for someone else, it sometimes helps me to be calm for myself.

Try saying this to yourself slowly while breathing deeply "I am going to be fine. The Universe is going to take care of me. I am going to do well." over and over.

Keep us posted with your progress.

Love ya!
Hystervark.

Take a deep breath, and relax. I have a husband, 4 kids 2 dogs and 2 cats, and I was going like a crazy woman as well.

Try to give yourself at least 5 min tonight and go soak in a nice scalding bath. Light a candle and relax. We are all hear for you

thanks so much for your responses ...its helping alot and yes i do have help with recovery ...my kids are 17(girl) 15(boy) and 10(girl) ....i have talked with them about the surgery and the help im going to need from them ....my husband has been good also more worried about me than anything...my family calls and visits all the time ..offering help but im used to doing everything for myself since the age of 17 ...but they will be there for me once im home recovering which is something i have no choice to deal with ...being im used to doing everything for everybody i guess its my turn now ...thats how im looking at it....it helps with accepting their help to think of it in that way...i have been feeling like this on and off for 9 years and went to doctors went on birth control shot(which made matters worse) so i wouldnt get my period...and just dealt with it when it came ...but since july 2005 all the symptoms i have been getting have been worse (back pain nausea,pressure , pains shooting down my legs ,tired all the time, but i only get my period for 3 days and first two days heavy then by the end of third day gone...no blood clots...headaches ...i can go on and on..) but i just want most for the irritability to stop cause im taking it out on my family i have been pushing everyone away which is not like me and it kills me inside to be like this cause im a loving caring giving of myself person but the last few months i have been nothing but a real B****...to everyone and just staying to myself ...this site has helped me so much i cant thank everyone enough...i go on this website every single day for hours and its such a good help ...i have had surgeries in the past ( gallbladder and appendix and bunion removel) and never have been scared with those surgeries but this time im scared so scared i guess because it has to do with my uterus and cervix ( my womanhood) but im dealing with it ..thanks everyone again

Are you my twin????????????????????????? Hun i think you just described about 80% of us! it will all work out believe me there is a way around everything and it all gets done maybe not the right way but it gets done! feel free to vent anytime cuz i'm right there with ya!

Relief is on the way. You will feel so much better after your surgery and will welcome the help. You are blessed to have so much support. I agree with the other sisters. Take some time for yourself even if its 5 mins in the bathroom. I have a 5 yr old DD whom I love to death but sometimes I need a few mins to myself to relax. I sometimes have to go to the bathroom to get some peace from DD and DS. Keep the faith and take care because the big day will come sooner than you think. Carrie

Sweetie,
It sounds like you have spent your whole life being the strong one helping everyone else... it is now your time to be REALLY strong and let them help you. Start practicing that now pre-surgery... I know it's easy for me to say "let the Martha Stewart's staff cleaning my house" standard drop because I've already had my pre-op cleaning frenzy, but if your family offers to help you LET THEM... or better yet... DRAFT THEM into helping you.

As far as feeling irritable, frusterated, exhausted, helpless, witchy (w/ another letter), that goes with the nature of the beast. Trust me, I'm pretty sure that you are describing all of us for one reason or another at one time or another... For me I attribute it to being on day 25 of Aunt Flo's visit. Cant wait to kick her out FOR GOOD tomorrow. Finally almost 30 years later I'm gonna get the last word and today she is letting me have it hard. She knows.

As far as being scared goes, that's natural. For me that goes hand and hand with "castles", and this is my first over nighter. I'm not worried about feeling badly about loosing my uterus because for me it was always about celebrating sexuality to connect with my husband and share love with him in the most intimate way. It was almost more fun (and decadent) because we were not using the uterus for the reason I was given it (reproduction). In fact today we are going to celebrate my taking my last ever BC pill. I must add that when I first heard that a hysterectomy was my best option I did grieve, but then I worked through it. I'm only sharing this to offer another perspective on this delicate difficult topic, and I fully respect everyone's feelings and place in life. Even though mine is probably a minority opinion on this, I hurt desperately for everyone that is hurting, I wish everyone peace as this is tough.

Please be good to yourself and let others help you. Put down the superwoman cape and cleaning products. Pick up the chocolates and ice cream. When times are tough find a hyster-sister. Good luck, and God Bless.

You just described how I feel. Overwhelmed, scared, frustrated and depressed. I have four girls 12,7, 5 and 1. We also have two pets. I am always the one to do everything. My husband works 60 hours a week. I know they can make it without me...I think. I do feel guilty...I am the strong one. Will the laundry get done? Will they do their homework. Will the baby choke on a penny while I am not there? I try not to worry about all of this..but I guess it is natural. I know this is my time for me and if I feel better, I can be a better person. I can't believe I only have 9 days left until surgery. Hang in there...we are all in this together.

Laura
hysterectomy scheduled Oct. 4th.

Y'all know what... if the laundry doesn't get done while I can't do it, it will be a GREAT time for my husband and myself to experience life as a nudist.