concerning appt and rambling

Well Wednesday was just a plain bad day for me.

My DH had a visit with his DR and got the results of his stress test... they give him 3 years or less. UGH! I know they will do everything they can to help him and all but it just really hit home hard to see it in writing. We have been fighting for 4 years trying to get a diagnoses on what is wrong with him and still are not close. This is just a crumb off the cake so to speak. Good news is we have gotten his cholesterol down from 1700+ to just above 260.

My DS whom I love with all my soul came home from the hospital after a month stay on wednesday. Now please don't get me wrong I want him home and love him to death but it sure does raise the stress levels. Not to mention I do not get to sleep much because I am always checking on him. His sisters were happy to see him but they seem to go into a weird mode because they just are not sure where he is going to be at as far as his moods and such.

Our basement flooded on wednesday! I had 4" of water sitting down there. This has NEVER happened in the 15 years of being in this house. :cry: I have lost all my pictures of my family, and things i can not replace.

I went to my visit to the new gyn/onc with notepad in hand and questions galore and well.. he highly recommends i have a hyst. He does not like what he sees and the results of the last pathology report showed me in a pre-cancerous state (sorry don't have the wording here with me right now, I am at work). He is going to be in the room with my gyn so they can work together. I am going to keep the original date because i have planned my entire life around it and it would be almost impossible to rearrange. Unless of course he finds out something else and wants to get me in sooner. It is only 12 days away.

Of course, I don't have the time to take off from work to cover this surgery because I have taken so much time for everyone else in my household (2 special needs kids and disabled DH) so will be in trouble financially. I think I just want hide..lol.

I must admit, I am so scared of what they will find once they get in there.

Sorry to have gone on for so long. Thanks for letting me ramble and cry some. It is hard trying to be the strength for the house when my own life is falling apart!

Lesa

You have a lot going on there--ill husband, special needs children, home messes that I swear choose the worst time to occur, and yourself. So if you need to come here to :cry: or :explode: just do so. We've all been there. The waiting is the hardest part, when all the "what if's" come up. Sounds as if you have a great team there with the gyn/onc in place for the best possible surgery and outcome. We're here...

Hi--

I'm sorry that you have "so much on your plate" right now. Health issues really seem to take over your life when you have them and it can be a very lonely, isolating feeling, even when you have loved ones around. I wanted you to know that we have all "been there" in one way or another, and there are a lot of caring ladies here that have big shoulders and big ears. Feel free to come here and vent anytime (we all do that from time to time). I know what you mean about taking a lot of time off of work -- I've had to take a lot of time off from chemo and even though my supervisor, manager, etc., say that it is okay, I still get the feeling that it is not. But you have to do what you have to do. You can only be so strong and then you have to take care of yourself -- that's something I've learned the hard way!

I hope what I have said has been helpful. As I mentioned, feel free to come here and post anytime -- there are wonderful ladies here.

Love,

Cyndy

s Lesa

Geez....... you sure are dealing with alot here. I guess the answer is one day at a time. Perhaps it's time to enlist family and friends. You'll surely need help in the first two weeks post op. Get some dinners stored up in the freezer. Does your job provide for any disability while you are out? Some states offer it as well. (of course we constantly pay into it)
On the up side, I am so glad to see that a gyn oncology surgeon will be involved with your surgery. Can't go wrong here.
Stay in touch.

karenann

LESA!!
OH, DEAR LADY I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR OF ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.
GOD, IT'S A MESS!!!
YOUR HUSBAND AND CHILDREN AND YOURSELF, WOW!!
THINGS MUST WORK OUT BY THEMSELVES AND THEY WILL.
WITH THE HELP OF GOD YOU WILL FIND THE STRENGTH TO
HANDLE ALL OF THIS.

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. STAY AS CALM AS POSSIBLE AND DO INDEED TAKE ONE
DAY AT A TIME THINGS WILL BE O.K.
KEEP IN TOUCH, WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.

{{Lesa}}

You sure do have a lot on your plate right now. 's to you!!!

As Karen mentioned, if you have it available through your employer, please do check into the disability benefits available.

I'm so glad the Onc will be present at your surgery, that will certainly help put your mind at ease that he'll be there.

I hope things will soon calm down for you and your family. We'll all be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

{{hugs}}

Vicki

Thanks everyone,

It sure is nice to receive the encouraging words and comfort from others and it is oh so appreciated. Things will work out, it just gets so tough at times that it is hard to see that. But then again I am sure ya'll have been there as well.

As far as disability, I have been told that I do not have short term. I do not know why, I thought I did. LOL. It will be a struggle but we will do it. My health is important and is coming first.

I couldn't sleep tonight, so came online to catch up (normally only get to do it during working hours anymore..lol). Your post have meant the world to me. Thanks once again!!!

Lesa