Worried about my recovery

Hello ladies,

I will be 2 weeks post-op tomorrow, and will have my first visit with my doctor, but have some questions for those of you who are progressed a little farther along than I am.

First, I am still spotting, and it's kind of pinky red. I have my uterus and cervix removed, so really didn't think the spotting would last this long. Anyone else have it this long?

Second, my belly button incision is itching and sore, and almost feels like it's being ripped open. Not sure if this is just from the glue starting to come off, or if I should actually be worried. It's not bleeding or anything, just sore.

Finally, and this is very hard for me to write about, I need some reassurance about an intimacy issue. My doctor told me not to do anything, even orgasms, until I see her tomorrow, and I haven't tried, but...my husband is getting anxious, so let him play around a little up top, and I felt...nothing. Absolutely nothing. He could have been caressing my big toe for all it mattered. Is this normal? I ended up hysterically crying, because I feel like it will never come back. I have never had this problem, not even after having three kids. I always got my libido back right away, even if we couldn't do much to act on it, but now I have absolutely zero desire. I still have both ovaries, so not sure if it's something physical, or if I am just psyching myself out by worrying about it so much. This was my biggest fear going into the surgery, since I am only 32 years old.

I hope everyone else is healing well. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for any advice/encouragement.

Oh yea my naval incision was the only one that was sore.
As far as the zero drive, its normal as far as I can tell. I had ZERO drive and wanted nothing to do with sex. I only had the LAVH but it's still a big surgery even if there isn't a huge outward scar. Inside is a road map from hell, give yourself more time to heal.

Super is right - I know it's scary, but healing is your first priority and that's where your energy is going. Ask your dr. to write a prescription to your hubby about being patient. I know it is hard for the guys, but he just needs to wait! When you have had time to heal and get your energy back, your libido will be back, too. It's going to get better.

Well if you are only 2 weeks out you probably are not in the mood ( I know I was not) and your body just went through Major Surgery so I would not worry. Just take the time to heal, hubby will have to WAIT. you do not want to do something that will jeopardize your recovery. Tell him patience is a virtue. Take care and do not be too hard on yourself. You are still very long away from being fully recovered.

Another thing -- nipple stimulation is tied into uterine stimulation, so that could be why you didn't feel anything. Once you get the go-ahead from your doctor, you might need to find some "new" ways to get things going . . . don't despair!! Where there's a will, there's a way, right?!?

Thinking of you!

1---the discharge is completely normal...I had some minor discharge until about week 4
2---the itchy incision is completely normal too! the skin is dry and healing, like it should! I wouldn't recommend putting anything on it either! You don't want to risk infection!
3---DH will have to WAIT! This is no joke! You really need to heal properly to prevent any further damage! Your libido will come back! It takes time!

This is a marathon...not a race! Happy healing to you! It will get better!

Thanks so much for the comments. I guess I should clarify, my hubby isn't pushing me to have sex, just for some other stuff.

Now I'm wondering though, after one of the comments above...does no one enjoy nipple stimulation after a hysterectomy?? No one ever told me that before...that is the key way I've always gotten in the mood...what if it never works again?

Thank you for the answers to my other questions gertie56. I appreciate all the responses.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you . . . I do agree that sex is a HUGE part of any marriage, and you do have every right to be upset about this piece of information and the implications it may have. I wish I had an answer for you. I would suggest talking to your doctor about it to see if they have any input and advice.

Thinking of you . . . take care of yourself.

As someone who's relationship is fairly fresh I understand your concerns. My partner however read all the horror stories with me and at 4 weeks today still says - 3 weeks until you see the specialist again and is quite happy to sort himself until then, and you can help with that (however, if you also get turned on by this I would wait another couple of weeks).

It is hard, and I have found nipple sensation (I've been given the OK for external stimulation) is still there so I would say that it returns in time, I haven't tried before now.

The hardest thing I've found is that because my libido was high prior to surgery, it appears higher now and I'm the one who's wanting to see if I still work and am thankful that my partner can remain strong for my own well being. That and he feels in the big scheme of things 7 weeks is nothing after reading the horror stories.

I would have you and your husband read the stories together, know what can go wrong and then with great courage wait until you get that clearance. If not, it could be a lot longer that you can't share that intimacy.

LL79, try not to worry too much about the intimacy issues,everything will work out.I am 3 1/2 weeks post op and have found that last week I had zero desire but this week is a totally different situation.My libido is going at full force, and whether nipple stimulation won't work without a uterus well it works just fine for me. Sweetie if it worked for you in the past I think it will again.hope this helps to ease your mind......we all are so different and our bodies will heal differently and we will be ourselves again. Hugs