You've gotta laugh or you're gonna cry (mentions kids)

So, I get this call yesterday froma woman whose kids are at the same school as my daughter. Last time she saw me, I asked her to pray for me (it was a day after hearing I have to got to the castle and I was very freaked out, but didn't give her any details of what to pray about).

She asks me how things are, and I tell her about the big H and having to be off work for 6 weeks to recover properly, the whole bang shoot, including that my date is set for 6 April.(yeah! No more pain!)

She is moving back to the US soon (I live in South Africa) and tells me about wanting her children to have closure about the move, with farewell parties etc.
Then - wait for this, and if you have stitches hold them before you read on - she asks me if I would mind hosting a farewell party for her youngest daughter on 10 April! It's 4 days after the op so I should be fine, right!

So, as gently as possible, I tell her I'll only just be out of hospital by then and will be recuperating. And she insists! Says her child and mine have been friends all along, my house is big enough, there's a pool for the kids to use, they will look after themselves because they're big enough (nine year olds!) etc etc.

I was gobsmacked. I nearly started crying, then had to restrain myself from maniacal laughter!

Luckily she phoned me at work, so I was able to cut the conversation short by saying someone needed my attention.

I am constantly amazed by how little people know and understand about this huge big operation!

Love to all - I hope the story puts a smile on someone's dial and reminds them that you've gotta laugh, otherwise you're gonna cry! (I'm talking to myself here)

I can't believe she even thought of you doing a party.Is she just beling clueless or selfish.Sounds to me she just wants to use you for your house and pool,etc.Don't do it.You have to heal and you are going to be so tired.You just need to tell her that this is major surgery and you are not able to do anything for 6 weeks.If she is mad,too bad.You have to think of yourself first.Take care and good luck with your surgery.

Sounds like she's a few fries short of a Happy Meal if she thinks you'd be up to hosting a party 4 days after your surgery!

Clearly the lights are on but no-one's home!! If she's that utterly horrid then I suspect she'll bring it up again. Suggest you screen your calls and practice your 'putting her in her place' speech, you can get rid of two unwanted items instead of one!
Good luck, God bless

Practice saying this over and over until it just rolls off your tounge without thought:

I'm sorry, my doctor won't let me...I'm sorry, my doctor won't let me...

Then just smile and pass the bean dip.

(As in..."I'm sorry my doctor won't let me. But have you tried this bean dip? It's absolutely delicious!)

I am amazed sometimes at just how out of touch with reality that some people are. I would not demand a party from a person who had not just had major surgery much less one fresh from one.
Maybe it would help if you printed the FAQ's for Family and Friends and gave her a copy.

Also, saying that you're on restricted activities until released by your dr might help.

s

Wow! Un-be-liev-able! You absolutely must be sure she understands the answer is no. Good luck in finding a way to say it....again. I kinda giggled at the one BDT in GA suggested....my doctor won't let me. It has truth in it!
Take care!

WOW :wowee: TALK ABOUT CLUELESS,not to mention insensitive to others feelings if you said no ,you said NO and that should have been the END of the conversation a little concern for what your about to go through would have been nice also !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you deep -six this friend before your surgery so she can`t cause you any complications afterwards ...............{{{{HUGS}}}} to u as you prepare for surgery........and best wishes for a speedy recovery!!!!!!!!!!

What a gal! I think you have topped all of the dumb comments I have got. I know it really surprises me that people act as though I have had a root canal or something. No, strike that I think I actually got more sympathy when I had a root canal.

Anyways, do as the ladies so wisely have said, say no and blame your dr., avoid the temptation of throwing a good-ridance party after she leaves! LOL

Betts

Be careful. She may just plan the party at your house and show up on that day whether you've said yes or not. She's definitely a piece of work!
Maybe she's really traumatized by her move.