Parents coming to help ~Thankful but~ Oh My ~

Hi everyone,
I am having a TVH and my parents are coming 1400 miles to help out with the kids, 11 and 4. Hubbz is a truck driver and while he will be here for surgery we need to have at least one of us working so he won't be staying long.
They are planning to stay the full 6 weeks the Dr. wants me to take but will I really need them that long? I sure don't want to seem ungrateful they are coming a long way to be here for me and I know there are sisters out there with no help at all but I'm just not so sure I can deal for the full 6 weeks. My parents have different religous views and really forcefully push them at me, making most visits unpleasant and uncomfortable.
I have tried to let them know that I feel differently but it always ends up in an unpleasant situation. I also try to avoid the subject entirely but not with my Dad that doesn't happen.
What to do, what to do.
And helpful suggestions to make it a pleasant 6 weeks???
I sure could use some about now!

Kristi

what to do, what to do, 6 weeks is a long time. I would tell them before hand that "a friend of mine was up and about in 2 weeks so maybe you guys don't have to stay that long". if you take longer to heal they will be there for you but if you are like some of us (i went back to work 6 hrs per day at day 13) the stage will be set to send them home. anyway if they start in on you say your tired and go to bed. end of discussion. best of luck to you
jane321 SAH 7/14/04

Thanks Jane,
I work a pretty physical job and the Dr. already said 6 weeks off for sure. I know I can play the sleep card but will that work 3 to 6 weeks out?
Kristi

Hi Kristi,

I had a TVH on 8/10 was home on 8/11. My parents and inlaws as well as my husband were all here to help out. It was nice to have all the help and company but I sent my husband back to work after 2 days and all the parents on their way after 4 or 5 days.I haven't taken any pain meds since day 2 and I really feel great and am back to cooking, light cleaning, and doing laundry myself. My 11 year old son helps out some too.

I know everybody recoveries at their own pace and many have problems. I have been very lucky and blessed these 9 days since surgery. My Dr told me to slowly get back into my routine and do as much or as little as I can handle. I go back to the Dr. for my 2 week check on 8/14 and hopefully will be cleared to drive.

I feel very lucky to feel so good and hope my recovery continues to be problem free.

Best of luck to you with your surgery and recovery.

If you have any questions please feel free to ask.

Beth

8/10/04 - TVH kept ovaries due to lots of fibroids, heavy bleeding and pain

Good luck with surgery!

My parents came to help me and stayed until my two week check up. At that point I was up and moving fairly well - reading a lot, etc.

I had already made plans for a HS senior to come over once a week and change sheets and vacuum for me (child needs some money for senior activities), and the school I work at brought food for weeks 3 and 4 (casseroles, already frozen! They are saints!)

My parents knew that I'd have things taken care of so they felt comfortable leaving at that time.

You might make some advance arrangements like I did so you can limit their stay. High School girls really like to help out, and getting paid, even a small amount, is a bonus to them.

Your kids are a great age - they can help out and feed themselves and you with a little supervision. You should be able to sit and supervise by 2 weeks. Perhaps you could tell your folks in advance that you know you'll need help until your 2 week check up, but after that you are going to let your children start doing simple meals and helping with laundry to foster these skills in them. And that if your folks are there, the children won't do the chores as willingly.

Good Luck!