Thanks to all of you! Yes, parenting an adult child is still difficult, in different ways. She was MUCH easier at 5 and 10 years old as compared to now, almost 21. Bi-polar is such a tough thing to deal with; I never know which daughter will be coming home one visit to the next. Like Jekyll and Hyde.
And it changes on a split second. We can be laughing and joking, then she'll turn to me and snap something horrible and storm out. That's what Christmas weekend was like. 99% was great and then boom, the bubble burst. My husband is much less tolerant than I; when she was driving around the block opening and closing the garage door, he was on a rampage and ready to block her if she drove by and confiscate her opener and tell her not to come home again anytime soon. While I agree we should probably take the opener, I wasn't sure what else in his anger he would say so I wanted to be there because she is like him and can say a lot of things in anger she doesn't really mean. So I felt no choice in running after him/them and only realized "oh, yeah, I just had surgery" when I was back in the house, out of breath and holding my aching stomach. Like "oh, ****, what did I just do??!!??"
Pure adrenaline for sure.
I am very much looking forward to a quiet weekend. Son is home and hubby picked up some extra work shifts which he said he wouldn't have if I would of been alone. Daughter will be calling now that it is getting closer to the weekend, and act as if nothing happened. Hubby is adamant she is to not return for awhile. She has never said "thank you" to him/us for anything. He works 70 hr weeks to keep us and her afloat with her rent and car issues and she does not seem to care. He is a type 1 diabetic and should be thinking about our futures and retirements and stuff, but everything for the past 2 years has revolved around her and her medical issues. Of course we are happy to do whatever we can, but there has to be some give on her part. No reason she cannot hold at least a part time 20/hr week job. Her doctors even tell her it would be really good for her, she has way to much idle time on her hands.
Hubby says she can come home again when she has a job, has been back in school and actually showing up for classes and can show us by actions and not words that she will be respectful. If she feels an "episode" starting to brew, she can call a friend, go for a drive, go to her support goup, etc. He will not allow any more tantrums here or her visits will become even less frequent. He is not letting a label of bipolar be used for plain old inappropriate behavior and/or lack of respect of us as parents.
Disappointing holiday weekend...vent
