Sex after a Hysterectomy

Cheri,

I wish you the best of luck with your surgery. I have had alot of ups and downs in the libido department since my hyst. But you sound like you are so much more informed than I was. I would like to pass on one piece of advice to you though: You know your body and you are the best one to tell if something is out of whack, don't let a doctor try and talk you out of how you feel. If you do go on a hormonal roller coaster ride, don't give up until you feel like yourself. Another, thing that I wished that I would have had done before my surgery was to have my doctor draw a estrogen/testosterone level that way I would have known what my body was used to. Since the estradiol normal range can be between 50 and 500 depending on what part of your menstral cycle you are in. My estradio level is 116 ( within normal limits) but I still have hot flashes. Luckily I have a doctor that listens to me now and we "play" with my dosage until I feel good. I am glad that you have found this site before your surgery, it will be a blessing to you after your surgery. God bless, Sandra

Sandra, thanks for the tip on getting those levels drawn. I have my pre-op tomorrow and will ask to have it done, although I plan to keep the ovaries if possible. (That's a big IF.) It should at least give us a head start on adjusting the dosage if I do need HRT. My sister-in-law also has had ups and downs, leading to a near-divorce two years ago. Sounds like I should put her in touch with you! She is on Estratest at present, but for some reason she didn't specify, she doesn't stay on it all the time. I've told her about this site--I'm going to encourage her to get registered, even though her hyst was 10 years ago.

Diane, we haven't heard from you since you started this thread. Is it helping? I know that when I first started reading, I ended up with more questions than answers, but it doesn't take long to sort out what applies to you and begin to form an opinion of your own. I now have a list of 15 questions for my dr! Hope this has done you as much good as it has me.

BTW, the afore-mentioned sister-in-law reports that her drive is much diminished, probably because the HRT has never been satisfactorily adjusted, though she keeps trying. She says when she does want and have sex, the pleasure and sensations are the same, it's just that the libido isn't as "stout" (her word) as before. She also says she doesn't miss it. Personally, I can't imagine not missing it, but I guess if it's gone, it's better not to miss it!;-}


Cheri

Dear Cheri,

You mentioned that you are going to keep your ovaries, right? Well I kept mine for about 2 years and then ended up having them taken out. But during that 2 years my estrogen and testosterone began to drop. You had mentioned a friend of yours nearly getting a divorce because of this well, we were in counseling not to long ago, but I feel good now and things are better between me and my hubby. My doctors says its because their wasn't a uterus or menstral cycle for the ovaries to work with. I guess if you don't use it you lose it. So even if they say that you are going to keep your ovaries I would bring up the question of the hormone levels fading even if you have your ovaries. And I hope that they do draw a level for you so if your hormones do get out of whack you can have a starting point. Again I wish you the best of luck, my prayers are with you.

God bless,
Sandra

Thank goodness for this site! I sometimes think that I am overly concerned about the sex issue. I am truly terrified of loosing the big "O". My husband and I have recently reached a level of intimacy I never thought possible. The possiblilty of losing this really uspsets me.

I know that life does not end when sex stops but... holy cow what a bummer! I do feel relieved to know that there is help should some problems arrise after the surgery.

I have yet to schedule surgery because I do not have the help I will need with my 2 preschool age boys (2 & 4).

Hang in there, you are not alone.

I'm not one of the fortunate ones. Sex is not better for me, it's non-existent. I have tried for a year and a half to get the problem corrected and the doctors now tell me that it's hopeless(in a nutshell). I don't have a problem with "dryness" but with pain and lack of sensation. There is always a risk with surgery that you will fall into the 30% that *are* affected sexually. Of course if 70% are good odds, then go for it. I must admit that's what I thought when I consented. The female sexual response hasn't been adeuqately studied. Master's and Johnson started it, but the anatomical aspects have yet to be documented for females. For instance, there's a new set of doctors "The Berman Sisters" who claim that the nerves that control orgasm (vaginal) in women are generally severed during a hysterectomy as a standard "practice" and that the same set of nerves in males (during removal of prostate) are gingerly preserved. The difference? Knowledge and experience with the male anatomy. You can read more about that in their book or at www.newshe.com. Personally if I had known this, I don't think I would've consented (easy for me to say now, I know).

By the way, originally it was taught that the cervix doesn't contain nerve endings at all, or if it did, very few (no sensation) that's now being dis-proven.

I know this doesn't help with your decision. I wish I could say it would all turn out fine. I *can* say that the odds are in your favor.

Years ago during a hysterosalpingogram for infertility, I was told by a (male) technician that I couldn't possibly be in pain because the cervix doesn't have any nerve endings. I replied in somewhat strong language that he wouldn't know, not having one of his own. I could have disproven that theory right then had anyone bothered to ask. I do think the level of sensitivity probably varies from person to person. That's another reason why there is so much uncertainty in this area. I also think that women have been shortchanged in the research department by a male-dominated medical profession. I usually have no patience for male-bashing, but it seems that in this area at least, women's feelings aren't valued and therefore the research isn't there.

Nan, I don't think you are being overly concerned. Anything that is important to you is worthy of concern. If you are overly concerned, so am I. But I won't take the brushoff from the medical establishment lying down. That's why I'm so grateful also to have discovered this site. Since you have the time before your surgery, keep digging for the answers that seem to be right for you. I have elected to retain my cervix, and will keep you guys posted on the outcome.

My dr declined to draw hormone levels, stating that they fluctuate too much to be of much value. Said she would adjust the HRT according to how I feel. While I was mildly disappointed, I'm glad that she will go by how I feel. She understands that there is an emotional component, but doesn't act like that means my feelings aren't valid. Still hoping that this will be a gradual need, as she is also going to try to preserve the ovaries. She said that we have no reason to believe they are unhealthy at present. But, as I'm 52, I can't realistically expect them to continue to work as before for much longer anyway.

I guess in a way it helped me to start another heavy flow with pain just the other day. I know I can't and won't continue to live like this, no matter what the cost. (Bleeding from Feb. 2 through April 19. Thought I was through forever, then it's back again last Friday. Sex? What sex?) So, onward and upward! Thanks, everyone, for your support. Hope what I have to say supports you!


Cheri

"I think that this is just another myth that has to be cleared about hysterectomies."

Being new here, I hope I misunderstood that comment. It's certainly NOT a myth. My sex drive went from a "10" to a "0" after my hysterectomy. Sex and intimacy was very important to me, and I have cried buckets of tears since my surgery. It's bad enough hearing that kind of remark from the male jerk who butchered me. His idea of help was to give me a shot of testosterone, and tell me to hurry home. Since that didn't work, he told me it was all in my head, and that I probably didn't like sex that much anyway.

I WOULD CHOOSE TO AMPUTATE A LEG BEFORE HAVING MY OVARIES REMOVED AGAIN.....or my uterus for that matter, since ovaries can and do shut down after surgery.

I'm really very glad that things worked out for you, but you are one of the lucky ones. I enjoyed sex through nine months of pregnancy and while nursing, and never had any problems even with the "female" problems I was experiencing. Now after three and a half years of experimenting with every hormone--natural or not, I still have no sex drive, but at least I have emotional feelings for my husband again, and no longer feel like I'm being pawed (he was always gentle; I just hated being touched). You see, hormones are not only necessary for great sex, they're also necessary for that "in love" feeling that creates that special bond to our husbands. I still have VERY LITTLE sensation, and frankly, the sensation I do get comes after a lot of hard work. And I have no feelings in my nipples, either.

Myth, I don't think so. There are thousands of women with the same complaints on the web.

The information isn't really conflicting. There are a certain percentage of women with good outcomes, and there's a certain percentage of women with poor outcomes. Unfortunately, no decent studies have been done that would provide a woman with adaquate infomation on her chances of becoming one of the "poor outcomes." I think the chances of "poor" are greater than most of us realize considering how many women suffer in silence.

I am truly sorry for the difficulty you are having. Have you ever been on an antidepressant? The reason I ask is that I have recently been put on one...Neurontin...for hot flashes and I have to say it has really increased my libido. I do not have ovaries, either. I read an article recently that stated that in studies they have found that antidepressants aid in women`s sexual desire.

What a terrible thing to have happen to you. There must be some combination out there to help you. Trish, on the Hormone Jungle, is researching this very topic. Maybe if you watch her posts in the Jungle you might find something that helps.

I will keep you in my prayers!

{{{{{{{{{{{{healing hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

kaatie

Dear Kaatie and Cheri,

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} back to you! I really needed your encouraging words. I have to admit that in the last few short months, I'm beginning to "feel" more like myself, but I still have all these symptoms. They just aren't "quite" as bad as they used to be.

My family doc did put me on anti-depressants a while back, but most anti-depressants are known for DECREASing libido, not improving it. I was a basket case, then, though, and figured I didn't have much to lose to begin with. I did a lot of research on this, and only recently have I read of one or perhaps two anti-depressants that might help libido.

I'm feeling much better today. My attitude lately has been simply to ignore all of this, stay busy, and try not to think about what I'm missing--be grateful for what I have. When I arrived at this board yesterday, reading all of the messages really, really depressed me, but I'm ready to "try" again. I have an appointment next week.

I will try to stay postive.

Thanks again for the hospitality and warm welcome!

JoniTX

Just to explain something...

We're not here to scare people out of hysterectomy. We're not here to strong arm them into it or give them false hopes. It's a support group. With any support group you have those who have good results, and those who don't. There is something to be learned from both groups.

	Quote:
I think that this is just another myth that has to be cleared about hysterectomies.

This type of comment is very hurtful to those who had bad outcomes. I've been posting on the net for some years now, so I've come to have a very thick skin. Not everyone does.Everyone is entitled to their opinion but the post clearly implies that bad results from hysterectomy are "psychological" in nature. That *is* a myth. I personally do not enjoy having to explain myself or my condition over and over to those who label it psychological. Keep in mind that those who have bad results from a hysterectomy are seared by comments like that one because they face it everyday from uninformed doctors and uneducated people in general. There is no pat-answer-cure. They're just now developing ways to detect the reasons WHY this happens. The fact is they're not really sure WHY this happens. I'm not male bashing here, but the fact is if a man were rendered impotent he probably would not be labelled as a "psychological case". Women have historically been labelled as "hysterical" in their medical complaints -- from hot flashes to pms. It's particularly hurtful when "hysterical" labels are passed out by members of your own gender.


The point of this post is not to chastise anyone. Everone is certainly entitled to an individual point of view. The point of this post is this: when *I* post *my* results I am not trying to scare someone with my own hysterics. I'm relating my experience. I stand for the estimated 30% of intelligent, well-balanced individuals that have bad results from hysterectomy. The fact that people post in "options" means that they're not settled on this decision. I'm not trying to dissuade anyone, just help to inform them. I must admit that when I read stories such as these before my hysterectomy that I had the same reaction. "Maybe they have nothing better to do...". And that was a shame on my part. It *did* happen to me, and once it did, it took over my life. My sexuality was a huge part of my life and was wonderful. I, too, went from a 10 to a 0 immediately after surgery. Some 18 months later, it has not improved.

The dilemma here is that no one can predict who this will happen to, and who it won't. In all of the literature I've read (from medical books to self-help books to medical studies) the female endocrine system and sexual response system has not been investigated much at all. That alone frightens me for others.

Good luck to all of you in your decisions. I hope that better explains why I post MY story....

PS There's a picture that I have of the titanic going down. Underneath it the words: "Maybe your life was meant to serve as a warning to others". I kept it as a joke (it's done in the same fashion as the "success" inspirational posters). Now...I wonder if it's fitting for me