I can't stop crying

I'm so sorry that things are making you so upset right now. I wish there was a magic potion to send your way to cheer you up. I'm blessed with a very supportive husband, as a matter of fact, I had to kick him out of the house when I started to feel better. Well, I hope you feel better. What are your favortie "ME" activites? Watch a movie your DH would never watch? Listen to some music, read a great book? Try to do something that will make you feel good. Try to make the evening a little stress-relief break for both of you.

Harley,

I'm sorry that you're having such a rough day and I hope that things get better for you. You're always such a joy to read here on hystersisters. You've provided not only good insights but many a good chuckle as well. It's tough to see you so down. These hormones are really doing a number on us, aren't they?

Take care,



Cindy

Dear Cindy, tiger, bookgirl, Sherri, Mccann, Sarah, Gordon, SA, Irish and Pretty

Thanks soo much for your supportive words, hugs and prayers. I just do not know what I would do without you guys.
Words cannot express how touched I am by your kindness
Julie I agree, he has earned a nite out, but I just wish he would have asked me if I felt well enough. I think one of the most painful things I felt, was that it did not matter even a little how I felt about it, he was outta here.
Feeling as I do physically, and looking like hell, this was one more thing that I can do nothing about. I can't go out and have fun. I can't evan drive myself to the corner.
I just feel like I am down, and he well, kicked me.
And I mean I don't think he meant it that way, but when
you feel sooo fragile and unwell, how else can you take it.
I did express all of this to him. He was not apologetic.
He told me he was being honest and what I chose to do with it was up to me. Sadly, at least for today, I don't have that many options
I am sure that this too shall pass, and like you suggested
Sarah, I am going to get a weekend away with him for our anniversary in Nov for this.
I just hate feeling so darn helpless. And then when I feel soooo sorry for myself, I look to Sister Angel, with her beautiful spirituality and faith. I also look to some of my fellow sisters who are suffering.
Thanks again sisters.
lots of love and hugs

Harley

Harley we havent heard from you. Have we successfully cheered you up?
If I lived in NYC I would take a cab over there right now and give you a big hug and some chocolate. I hope you are a little better now. Please check in OK! I mean it! Then get back in bed! I mean that too! That's where I am going. I will check back in a little while. HUGS!

ah ha I just missed you no thanks needed! We are all in the same boat just holding each other's hand trying to make it through. I know you will be here for me like in five minutes when I explode again LOL!

Harley, we all understand your feelings. It is so hard to feel needy and dependent. I am having a difficult time too. My DH has gone out a few times to social events and each time I smile and say go then I go to my room and cry like a baby. He took the first week off to take care of me and spent the entire time outside doing yard work, I saw him only at breakfast, lunch and dinner. This coming Sat is his baseball league banquet and he wants me to go, I don't think I can so he again will go alone. It is really hard for us for we can't do too much of anything and we do a whole lot of nothing. I have been left home alone so much lately, I'm used to it now. I putter up to my room, put in a cd and watch a movie or read a bio. It's not that they don't care, it's that they find it hard to see us as needy for we were always the caregivers, the multi taskers. I guess they figure any moment now we'll fly through the house like we used to.

Relax, and find comfort here where we truly do understand and cater to each others needs emotionally and with love and care.

A big hug your way.

Harley,

Hope you get to feeling better soon. I have been having tough times lately with my surgery and I am 8 weeks. Sometimes I just want to bang my head against the wall.

Just remember, we will return to normal (or for me as normal as I can get )

Take care.

Hi, Harley:

I surely can't add anything more meaningful than our wonderful Sisters have already written, but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. We all seem to have this idea of how we "should" feel, and when it doesn't match with what we are really feeling, we think we have to justify ourselves. I've been trying to convince myself all day to just roll with what I'm feeling, let it come, ride it out. MUCH easier said than done, especially when you are feeling abondoned and like no one cares. I know we are not physically there with you, but if it's any consolation, please believe every one of these kind women who's replied to you post, when we tell you that we are thinking of you, sending comfort and hugs, and most importantly prayers. All of us mean every word of it.

I will be checking the Board throughout the night to see if you need anything. Of course, feel free to send me a private message, even if you just need to vent, cry, whatever....

Trisha
LAVH/LSO on 10/4/06 with 2nd operation a few hours later due to hemoraghing

Awe Harley,,,, is that what I just wiped off my flat screen - your snot that is flying all over the place from crying all day? Ewwww, hang on a minute, I have to go and wash my hands before I can continue typing...
Here, here is a tissue for the next round. I can spare a few. Had to stock up because of all my snot flinging sessions as of late.
I understand how you feel. Lonely is not quite the word even. It’s like a sad, sad hollowness and a type of abandonment almost. Like there is nobody at all out there that truly understands how it is and what you are going through. Heck, my own mother has not even asked about me or how I am doing (and it has been 9 days since my surgery) and that alone makes my eyes leak every time I think of it. The word lonely doesn’t cut it. It is deeper than that. And I am still trying to deal with my emotions of finding out my significant other was cheating on me before the surgery and it makes me wonder how often he is going to now.....but that is a post all of its own and perhaps not for this board.
Here is a hug for you and hopefully a smile. Know that others DO understand and will listen anytime you need someone to listen. Sometimes that is all we need, an ear to listen without judgement.
Hope tomorrow brings you more smiles than tears.
CindyGrinz

Cindy -

THATS IT!!!!!! I have been trying to figure out for 3 weeks this feeling that comes and goes that I can't quite describe...... and the word is ....hollow.

But you are right, that is it. Ok ok ok maybe I sound a little nuts but seriously, it has been driving me half bonkers....

And I don't know why but somehow having a word for it helps me.

Okay, going back to my silent insanity....

Julie