Very Important: Cancer Concerns Discussions (Including discussions about others)

We have members here with many different types of cancer (or possible cancer, or precancerous cells), different stages, different treatment options ... what we all have in common is a desire to get through this and go on to live long, happy lives. This may be a bigger challenge for some than for others, but it is still a challenge for everyone -- for many of us, the biggest one we will ever face.

Some of us will rejoice with a benign diagnosis; some may be cancer-free at present but need to be vigilant for many years to come; some will be pronounced "cured" after surgery; others may undergo months or years of treatment. However, we may all be frightened, angry, confused, and sometimes disheartened... and we can all gain support from each other regardless of our different circumstances.

Even those who ultimately will walk away from this experience cancer-free and healthier than ever may find dealing with this process difficult, stressful, depressing and anxiety-producing. It can also be an opportunity to grow, if we let it... and if that happens -- if we acquire a wisdom we otherwise might not have because of having been through this experience -- let us not forget that those who are coming after us have not yet had the benefit of that experience, and give them room to grow as it was given to us.

Let's remember that what binds us together here is that we are all women facing a challenge, and not focus on the differences in our individual decisions about surgery, treatment, choice of DRs or the ways we deal with this emotionally. Life is too short to spend it finding ways to isolate ourselves, when there is much-needed strength in sisterhood.

Just a few practical suggestions to help make your experience here a positive one:

• Be respectful of one another, and mindful of the fact that despite our differences, were are all women who can benefit from mutual support
• Be respectful of each others' choices in DRs, surgery types, treatments, coping styles, etc. Just because someone has chosen a different approach to their treatment from the course you would have chosen (or did choose), does not mean that they are not making what they believe to be the best choice for their circumstances.
• If you find a particular member is getting on your nerves with their style of posting, you can put them on your "ignore" list so you won't see their posts. This is preferable to lashing out at them, both for their sake and for yours.
• If you feel a particular post is inappropriate or otherwise needs attention, you can "report" it by clicking on the red triangle with the exclamation point inside it at the upper right corner of the post. This will notify the moderators, who are equipped to handle the problem (if it is a problem) quickly and discreetly.
• Try to remember our mothers' wise words: if you can't say something nice about someone else, it's preferable not to say anything at all.

Ladies,

In the many years we have been online (8 years next month!) we have attempted to help maintain privacy on behalf of our members.

HysterSisters exists to provide direct support to our members. We can't, however, talk about other members, their treatment and hospital options in their absence.

Imagine the horror of being away for an extended period of time and returning to an online community to find a thread discussing your treatments, your illness, your family, etc, without your knowledge or permission. Imagine if some replies contained errors. Imagine if some replies contained disgust at the perceived mismanagement of your treatments. Imagine the feelings of invasion you would feel for a community that dissected your illness and treatments without your permission.

This is not an issue of non-support but of privacy and ethics.

In keeping with this policy, we will close or remove threads requesting information about members while we continue to provide direct support for our members in attendance. And we will rejoice in the return of our missing members to share in their support once again.



Thank you for understanding.