How do I keep from Killing my DH

Ok, so I love my man, but I am willing to admit he is a S-L-O-B!!! The man can not clean up after himself. So, here I sit, stressing myself out, thinking about after my surgery......my house will be trashed! Ok, so I am not OCD to the point that I'll start twitching if somthing is not in it's place (ok, maybe a mild twinge, hehe), but when I come home to a dirty or cluttered house, I get depressed. The last thing I need when I get home from the castle it to try and recover in a place that depresses and stresses me out.

I know that it's exaggerated right now with all my hormones in a tizzy, but I also know that is going to be worse after the LAVH. I don't want my sudden jump into meno to make me crazy, so when I get home and find my house destroyed, with laundry strewn about the place, and food left out, and I up and beat my husband with the warm, soured, left-out jug of milk!

I know the first thing I will hear is...have you talked to him about this...and my answer is yes. He gets very defensive and feels like I am telling him he is a bad person. He's not. He's just not a clean person. How can I get through to him????

HELP!!!

ahhh..no advice, just understanding. I get home from work, go to my room, take off my clothes, place them in the dirty clothes basket...and put on my jammies. DBF comes home, sits down on the sofa takes off his boots, both pairs of socks, his jeans, long underwear, shirt long underwear shirt and tee shirt and piles them in the floor in front of the love seat. WHAT IS THAT? I mean, COME ON. I get home to often find his bathrobe opened on the sofa like he just shrugged out of it, and it is waiting for him to put his arms back in it...Where is mine? Hanging on the hook in the Bedroom. See writing about this makes my blood pressure rise...I can feel the need to breathe. So yeah, I get it. I don't know what to tell you. I have the ability to detach from the things that I find uncomfortable..so I ignore a lot of the stuff he does that drives me nuts. It is also called denial in its purest form, but it works for me. I hope he gets it before the soured milk leaks from the cracked cap and gets all over him.

Hugs. T

I can't offer much advice either. My hubby is pretty good to pick up, but MY KIDS are pigs and it is SO hard to get them to pick up. They actually get mad at ME when I tell them to clean up THEIR mess. *SIGH* That is my worry, that my house will get trashed and I will have to sit here and get lost in the pile. Good luck hun, I am sorry I dont have any answers for you. Hang in there!

Hi, I can completely understand what you mean. I am not the neatest person, but I certainly like some sense of order around here. It is very depressing to see a house trashed..lol.

Here is my only suggestion...clean your hosue as best as you can before you go in, and if you can afford it...hire someone to come in and clean again early on the morning of your release. If you can't afford it, maybe have a friend or two come in and do it and maybe have someone come in every couple days just to do the picking up and washing of clothes...let him take care of dinner and dishes.

Hope this helps!

a maid is a GREAT idea!!! I live way out in the country, so it's not easy for people to just stop by, but a maid would HAVE to! hahahaha Oh, and if I explain to my husband that I am hiring her to ensure the safety of his life, I think he'd go for it!

Even though my DH tried really hard, it still wasn't me doing the tidying etc and it was awful (well by my standards anyway). Two things to remember, one it really doesn't matter for a little while, and two, will you really care in the early days? It was quite some time before the overflowing smelly kitchen bin got to me. It did eventually though. It has been quite a learning curve for me. I made myself chill and not worry about things that after all, aren't that important. There isn't an answer!!!

I don't know what to say either. I'm in the same situation as Jayden: DH is great but my 4 TEENAGERS!!! They leave food, socks, cups, you name it in the living room and kitchen (I don't care about their bedrooms, I just close the door) but I INSIST that living room and kitchen is kept to the way I like it . I don't get depressed, I get very stressed out when they mess it up. This is the one thing that I am worried about when I will be at the castle. I have already booked a cleaning lady to come a couple of times while I will be home recuperating. Last night I got mad again at the mess they had made in the kitchen and told the kids that the money to pay the cleaning lady will come out of their allowance (and I might do it too!). Good luck. Frenchie