any women who are childless and had hysterectomy?

Although I do have children, and my experiance is diff. I had my tubes tied about 19 years ago. At my 6 week check up my doc said i was on to a new "phase" of life and my heart sank. It was such a big mistake on my part. I looked in to having it reversed and for the small sum of 35,000 I would chance about a 40% chance at having a child. I just put it out of mind and thought whenever I had an extra 35 grand I would take it. Well now I am 48, fibroid tumors and cysts on both ovaries. I found out I am still in child bearing years, but a hysterectomy, and biopsy are needed. I know I am being irrational. I am 48, but this has hit me like a ton of bricks. No chance to ever correct my mistake. Emotions are not always rational. I am comming to terms with this slowly, but have figured out why it has been so diff to wrap my mind around. I envy all of your strength. How rediculous I sound compared to what you must be going through. What a great group of women you are!!!

Thejo:

You don't sound ridiculous at all. Your situation is different, that's true, but that doesn't make it any less important. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are trying to focus on the blessings you have, but it is still understandable that you would feel some sense of loss due to the finality of the surgery.

I will be praying for each of the ladies who've posted here. I am so grateful to have someone to talk to. Someone who understands. I believe without a doubt that "meeting" each of you has lightened the load a bit for me. Thank you!

I am 32 and just got married last Sept. My dh has three kids from two previous marriages- two of which live with us. I am having a LAVH and Lap for cyst bioposy 18 June. My husband is in the military and deployed shortly after we got married and he offered to have a Vas reversal if I wanted to have bio children with him. At the time, I had too much on my plate and said we'd talk about it when he got home. God then gave me my answer- while he was gone it was discovered I have a complex cyst on my left ovary and need to have a hysto.

I love my step boys, but they are not bio-mine. It's different, but I feel like God put me in their life so they would have a mother, and those are my shoes to fill. (Their mom left them when they were 1 1/2 and 2. They are 14 and 12 now and have seen their mom once since she left.) I still dream of having a little girl with blond curly hair- but I know that she won't share DNA with me.

I had a tah/bso at 36 for endo and I didn't have any children.

My husband and I had tried when we were first married, accepted we couldn't have children and started building a life that we are happy in.

We have pets that we love, we also have family and friends that have children that we share our love with.

I feel like I have been given a new beginning.. I learned to ride a motorcycle (something I always wanted to do) and I am going back to school to become a nurse. ( I look forward to helping others.)

It takes time to come to accept not having children. But, let yourself feel the emotions it is normal. We have a forum here Aching HeartsForum which may help too.

I wish you the best.

I am 43, child-free and had my hysterectomy 5 weeks ago today. I never really wanted children - except for a short 4 year period when I was married to my 2nd husband, at which time we struggled to get pregnant and it never happened. Of course the doctors could find nothing wrong - no reason I couldn't get pregnant.

Anyway, I'm very happy with my decision to have the hysterectomy and I am feeling much better both emotionally and physically now that those parts are gone. But I do feel that slight sorrow of the choice being gone. You know - my eggs are gone now so there are no options anymore. But for me, that's not a huge issue because I don't think being a mom is for me (never really did) - I don't have a maternal bone in my body - and I accepted the fact that I would never have children long ago. It's just so final now.

My main concern now is my fiance - we discussed this decision at length and he said that he is OK with never having children - even though one of the first things he told me when we first started dating was that he wanted a family. I told him immediately at the time that there was an almost zero percent chance I'd ever be able to give anyone a family - and knowing this he started dating me anyway. Now, I've had the hysterectomy so there IS a zero chance he'll have a family - he still wants to marry me. I worry that in time he will decide he really does want that family (he's younger than I am) and he'll dump me for a younger, fertile woman. I guess I'll deal with that when/if the time comes. I'm probably worrying about nothing (maybe) because this concern is probably just my insecurity talking anyway.

But I'm still happy with my decision and am glad I never had children. I'm just not mommy material.

I am 23 and my TAHSO and appendectomy are scheduled for 6/17. I am childless and currently in nursing school. And it seems like everywhere I turn and everything I watch on TV is about babies. I have been kinda down in the dumps lately about it, I've always seen myself being a mother someday. But like SISTERNOW said, I believe there is a reason for all of this. Maybe I am meant to adopt or be a foster mom or just be a really great nurse. I am holding on to those thoughts right now so I dont go crazy. Luckily my Dr. said we should be able to save and ovary and my sister said she would be a surrogate if/when the time comes.

I am childfree and am scheduled for a complete hyst in three weeks. I know that some women do get very upset over the idea of not being able to give birth after surgery, but I had already made my decision a long time ago not to do so, and so this isn't a concern for me. Not having a uterus will not make me feel like any less of a woman (I still have that XX chromosome, right?).

If you really feel the need to be a mother, there are plenty of children who are already born and who need a home. I would urge you to consider this option.

Good luck to you and please let us know how your surgery goes!

	Quote:
Originally Posted by sisternow There is a verse in the Bible that says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I used to think that meant that if I was faithful God would give me what I want, but really it means that if I am faithful I will want what God gives me. ... I have to believe that what God has in store for me is better.

Hey there wonderwoman08

I have to tell you that while I have no children (and really wanted some), I have tried to live the life that GOD wants for me. So, sisternow really summed it up - and that is why I quoted her. I love kids. And GOD knows that.

I am a 42 year old VIRGIN BY CHOICE - yep, you read it right. I am waiting for the man that GOD has for me. (I admit that HE may have sent him and I missed him )

I guess I satisfy my maternal instincts by serving as the Director of Children and Youth Ministries at my church. In addition, I have 2 of the greatest God-Daughters that have ever lived . I am probably in the minority, but I have not/do not get sad in the waiting room of my GYN when there are expecting moms and babies (she also does OB).

I smile and greet babies and their families along with my children and youth. I am just so happy that GOD has brought me to this place where I am healthy and that I can "Delight myself in the LORD ..."

I have learned (through posts on this site) that many women struggle in this area and I pray daily for them.

Blessings on you ....

I do not have any children. I teach 6th graders, so you *could say* I have 125 11-13 year olds.

I am childless partially by choice partially by chance. I was on birth controls from about 22 to 29, then I got off of them. Ever since (I'm 44) we haven't used any reliable form of birth control, nor have we used the ones we've used very faithfully. I feel I couldn't get pregnant, but wasn't willing to completely ditch all birth control forms.

I am a little bit sad at losing the ability to have children, but since I already had figured I wouldn't, this isn't a strong feeling. It is how I imagined I'd feel when I hit menopause. It is just happening 10 years earlier than I expected (and because of cancer, not menopause).

Best of wishes to you!

Hi wonderwoman & all of my dear sisters:

I too do not have children, I always believed that I was one of those women who was born without a biological clock. I never really stressed over it, if children were to be a part of my life, it would come in due time.

I feel that each of us has a "plan" for their lives. At 39 years old, I am still waiting to see how my plan unfolds, what my big picture is. Each day gets me closer to understanding it all, yet at the same time leaves me totally in doubt & I am perfectly fine with that!

According to my dear father, the perfect plan for my life would have been to marry a rich doctor or lawyer, be a housewife & raise a big Southern family, he is "old school" like that. God saw things differently through my eyes, 10 years ago I changed careers completely to become a Paramedic & am currently in nursing school. I found my calling in healthcare, I may not always be able to 'fix" everything in my life, but I've found that I am pretty good at fixing others & I couldn't ask for anything better than that.

I currently work in the Emergency Department, but spent 6 years in pediatrics. The mothers of the children that I cared for would often tell me how great a mom I would be. It warms my heart to know that I have that would have been true. If it had been part of my plan I would have been fantastic!

That being said, I have no regrets about my decision. I am 4 weeks post-op & outside of a few complications during my recovery, I wouldn't have changed a thing. My health had become so hindered by my "female problems" that it had become nearly impossible to enjoy my own life, much less be able to care for others. It was one of those rare moments that I took to fix myself.

Much love & all the best to each of you!
Kara